And you thought some of the blogs were bad  

mi_mwpm 51M
1175 posts
7/31/2005 1:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And you thought some of the blogs were bad


Thought you all might find the winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest interesting. The contest was "inspired" by 19th century novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton's "Paul Clifford," which begins "It was a dark and stormy night."

Overall Winner
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

Children's Literature
The woods were all a-twitter with rumors that the Seven Dwarves were planning a live reunion after their attempted solo careers had dismally sputtered into Z-list oblivion and it was all just a matter of meeting a ten-page list of outlandish demands (including 700-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets, lots of white lilies and a separate trailer for the magic talking mirror) to get the Princess Formerly Known As Snow White on board.

Detective
Patricia wrote out the phrase 'It was a dark and stormy night' exactly seventy-two times, which was the same number of times she stabbed her now quickly-rotting husband, and the same number of pages she ripped out of 'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt to scatter around the room -- not because she was obsessive compulsive, or had any sentimental attachment to the number seventy-two, but because she'd always wanted to give those quacks at CSI a hard time.

Romance
Billy Bob gushed like a broken water main about his new love: "She's got long, beautiful, drain-clogging hair, more curves than an under-the-sink water trap, and she moves with the ease of a motorized toilet snake through a four-inch sewer line, but what she sees in me, a simple plumber, I'll never know."

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/31/2005 3:32 pm

I prefer the TR-6 over the Spitfire.

I think I'd like to read the rest of "Detective"


ProtonicMan 48M

8/1/2005 8:59 pm

LOL!
I second jayR's comments. Both of them.

TJ


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