My poor choice of words .... Why I choose to forgive.  

mi_cpl_jd 51M/54F
55 posts
8/15/2005 8:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My poor choice of words .... Why I choose to forgive.

This is a hard post to write,and I not sure where or how to start. Many of you have know JF for quite some time and already have shared things with and about him and us that I am not fully aware of yet. The only blogs I have read are the first few and last few. It is too soon to read them all, but I will in time.

Here is the quick run down on why I am on the path of forgiveness. As may of you know JF is a funny and caring person, and I love him very much. I put myself as half contributor to the current situtation. If I had not used a certain phase he might have not found it so easy to be out here looking. The fact that I lost track how to be more than a friend and how important it is to be a lover. Although we both love our daughter dearly she definitely deserves the nickname "sexus interuptus."

I think that we are on the right path, but we still have a very long way to go. The fact that we have nearly twenty years together I think is in our favor. As you may have read in a previous post we are having fun rediscovering our passionate past, and enjoying the "frosting" that goes with the cake.


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/16/2005 7:11 am

hi D welcome to blogland

don't rush things I understand what you mean about kids and interrupting.

Boney and I had started in this course from the time we met it started slowly with my telling him to go out and play...I have always been a bit of a sex addict ever since I lost my virginity...I seriously don't understand what monogamy is all is something to do which is fun passes time well and makes everyone feel good kinda like a good game of squash....this was before we had children together and there was just his daughter staying with us half the time...although we were both working more hours than any sensible person should....but the company we both worked for are slave drivers

I admit though I did cheat on Boney not long after we first met though it is no I said I am an addict and we were working very long hours....and I totally regret it but it was sex...don't think I ever will understand why I did, the guy was totally butt ugly but anyway we will do these things....but he forgave me and we moved on...

although he didn't for quite some time....

I think because his ex wife had repeatedly accused him of doing so...

also I don't think he understood that I had no problem with it sex just doesn't hold the emotional connection for me that total and complete honesty does if that makes sense

as I told him what mattered to me was honesty...getting together with another woman ah its a bit of fun....but what mattered was he came home to us, was here for us...and was honest with me in everything he did...

anyway we started out including single guys, looking for other couples while on our quest for a single bi woman finding them is a hell of alot harder than anyone could possibly imagine....they are rare and they have really bad attitudes that comes with knowing that

Anyway where was I hmmmmmmm I am totally going off course....

we weren't playing on our own until our youngest was just over a year old....we found sitters were unreliable....fickle and never available on the days we needed them....and to have them available cost too bloody much....and we both got sick of quickies and being interrupted by nightmares, bad dreams, wanting a drink, wanting cuddles, wanting wanting wanting (you know exactly what I mean I know you do!)....but through all this time working on honesty (even though boney had a bout of secrets not sexual fiancial actually which hit hard) we were able to speak to each other about it...

so in some ways I think this lifestyle has done alot more for our marriage than survive in it we have to pay attention to each others needs and how everything we do impact the other...its not perfect we still seriously piss each other off on occasion get bad moods (as currently) hey it is that time of month and I have a REALLY bad bout of the flu I am female I'm allowed too


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/16/2005 7:13 am

Opps that should read til our oldest was just over a year old lol our youngest is only just now just over a year old


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/16/2005 7:19 am

Oh I do actually care for a number of my Fuck Buddies some of them I have known and been seeing for Years!

and I know they care for me similarly....mind you they also have a great deal of respect for Boney....they appreciate the friendship we share and know that above all Boney is who I share my life with....

Boney actually knows quite a few of them....and occasionally they join us for a bit of fun together....

Boney's GF's well I don't know so many of those....women mostly get weirded out alot more than guys about the whole married thing not sure why....anyway most of his playmates are it is my GF's who come in and play


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/16/2005 7:36 am

I know that is all really higglty pigglty but that's how my head is right now.....

guess I am just trying to say....that sometimes what people say is the foundations of a relationship is a little off centre....but I am sure your figuring that out

guess I am just trying to say that being in this lifestyle has taught us what is important and enabled us to endure all the bumps a little better than if we hadn't had that understanding....

*mind you I am saying this as Boney is taking cover from my recent foul moods *


rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
8/16/2005 7:43 am

Congratulations on finding the love and the strength to forgive. Many folks here are cheering on your progress. Glad you have rediscovered the frosting!


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/16/2005 9:09 am


Glad you are on the road to recovery. With each of you awknowledging faults and not jsut attacking you will work things out. You both have alot to offer each other, and will enjoy growing old together. IT is easier to work it out than to try and replace each other.

THanks fro sharing your road to recovery, and best wishes always!

bigredeatsbush 51M/50F

8/16/2005 6:59 pm

I applaud your willingness to work on forgiveness. As anyone who has been down that road knows, it's a long one. Don't give up and we're here for you!

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
8/16/2005 10:53 pm

I have a solution for "sexus interuptus." well almost

when we sorted their rooms out on the weekends we did something to their bedroom doors

all it took was a couple of hair ties and a couple of bells....

one of them I had picked up a while back just for something interesting for the kids it is a big metal red ball with the chimy bit inside but it is a big loud bells....well the other fell of a set of bells I brought the kids from a music store they are only like $5 a set....

anyway we tied the hair tie to them and stretched it over the door handle on each of their doors

lol now we know everytime they go to escape *cue evil laugh here*

although the thing we used to do before we had the bells was we would set a building block or one of the babys rattles on top of their door knob after closing the door....and each time they opened their door it would crash to the floor with a *BANG**RATTLE**CRASH* and believe it or not when they know they are supposed to be in bed and are only trying to escape when they hear the bang they immediately shut the door again....and thats when you run down the hallway quickly and put the block etc back on the door handle.....

we found this is THE most effective method of instilling and enforcing bedtimes



8/16/2005 11:39 pm

Hi D and welcome , Please know right from the first J, left us in no doubt that he loved you and your daughter very much.There is no need to lay blame on each other, it`s just sometimes life puts us into a rut and perhaps during that rut we take different paths not knowing where it may lead or where it will end.True love is when you can find that road back to each other and walk down that path of life together.
This site is not all bad things , alot of us have formed a sort of support bond for each other.My thoughts and best wishes go out to you both, and may you consider yourself a new found friend amonst us.


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
8/19/2005 3:40 pm

... agreez with Blonde ...

welcome to the wondrous world of blogging

mi_cpl_jd 51M/54F
22 posts
8/25/2005 7:37 pm

To all this is an interesting site to say the least. I would like to thank all of you for the thoughtful words of encouragement, it does help a heavy heart.

wyvernrose Thanks for all or your input. You are wise beyond your years.

Rock and PNS Thanks for youe supportive words. It means alot that JF has had friends out here and that they are rooting for our choices.

Blonde and Goddess. Thanks for the support.


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