The Guys' Rules  

methodman1000 39M
1739 posts
2/5/2006 11:03 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Guys' Rules


We always hear "the rules"from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the shotgun formation, or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Sorceror07 54M

2/5/2006 6:36 pm

amen brother!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


crazygurl2xx 56F

2/5/2006 6:49 pm

ROFLMFAO!!!
Men!


Sister_Act_4_You 37F/37F

2/5/2006 7:15 pm

This is actually a pretty good list!


methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
2/5/2006 11:46 pm

well at least you not crying,lol


methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
2/6/2006 12:32 am

    Quoting Divinitydesires:
    *sobs* but I don't want you to sleep on the couch.

    those are clever, methodman.
i knew you would understand .....


methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
2/6/2006 12:44 am

thanks sorceror07-i can count on you


methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
2/6/2006 12:45 am

yep men rulz....


methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
2/6/2006 12:47 am

thank SA4U for visiting.....


pinkplaytoyz 49F

2/6/2006 4:06 pm

I actually found this entertaining!!! Unfortunately for you though, I figured all this out about 15 years ago, LOL... so you must tell me something NEW (that's an order!)


hugs_4_u2 39F

2/7/2006 5:38 am

lmao i haven`t laughed so much in ages!

hugs xxx


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

2/7/2006 6:01 am

giggles
giggles some more


TabithaElectra79 37F

2/7/2006 4:05 pm

I loved the one about colours!

(I'm English so have to spell it with a colo'u'rs !)


sweetcandyfloss 45F

2/8/2006 4:09 am

Much respect for your list method.........so ill ignore it, as you would respectfully ignore mine.........very very funny !!!!!


MillsShipsGayly 51M

2/8/2006 6:19 am

Does mauve exist?

Gawd-ass funny man!


MillsShipsGayly 51M

2/8/2006 6:20 am

hehehehe

I typed [ color mauve ] and it came back BLUE cause mauve doesn't exist


want2play926 45F

2/8/2006 6:41 am

That was great Method! I need a good laugh!

You can come sleep here... I have plenty of room ... for you! *wink


MistressTina66 50F
10 posts
2/8/2006 12:00 pm

Awesome list! Sounds so like the men that I know!! LOVE it!


mangomamiCT 41F

2/8/2006 9:30 pm

ok so I just came to peek at my favorite blogland penis , I don't really have much to say ! LOL


rm_Butter571 45F

2/8/2006 10:58 pm

Laughing my ass off....kinda reminds me of the booty call apllication !


tillerbabe 55F

2/9/2006 1:33 am

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Great stuff! ('cept I need more shoes!!!!!)


rm_1SweetBitch 55F
8575 posts
2/9/2006 6:26 am

Oh that is way too funny...now I don't feel so bad for making my man sleep on the couch from time to time lol.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

2/9/2006 12:03 pm

very funny but just number 1


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
2/9/2006 9:24 pm

you nailed it. very good reading, lol!


kelly402005 52F

2/10/2006 8:01 am

That one made my day....
LMAO!!!!!!!!!

And to think........
I only checked you out cuz of the size of your dick in your pic!
How female of me........


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
2/13/2006 11:30 am

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

I never complain about this I had 7 brothers I'm glad when I find one that actually raises it

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

I love sunday sports guaranteed free time for me!!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

You can't catch me in a mall!

1. Crying is blackmail.

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of knowing it hurt

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

I have no problem here either, in fact I rarely need to ask for anything!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

These are generally the only answers I give

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

I'm good with that if I am not expected to listening to your whinning

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

I can do it 24/7-365

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

You're good here I say it's inadmissable once the issue is resolved!

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

you bring it home because you wanna see me in it you'll get a lap dance after dinner you can be the pole BTW I don't watch soaps!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the shotgun formation, or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
2/13/2006 11:41 am

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

I never ask because I am not fat

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

I chose not to interpret things. I rarely get angry

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

If I ask you to do it I don't care how you get it done.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Darn that's too bad I like sucking it during the commercials!

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

I generally go to sleep so I don't notice and you can't ask!!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask me what's wrong and I don't want you to know I'll tell you I need a minute before I can talk about it but thanks for asking. At least I won't play you for dumb

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

I don't ask questions, that tend to make people feel the urge to lie.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

goosd I am an exhibitionist

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the shotgun formation, or cars.

I asked a guy that one time the answer was he was thinking about how his ex used to like to take it in the ass!!! I've never asked anyone else that question.

1. You have enough clothes.

not possible

1. You have too many shoes.

never

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

I only have one rule: I'm not lifting nothing to get to the goods

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

why make you sleep on the couch angry sex is always hottt!!!

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!


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