The 12 Commandments From June To July  

methodman1000 39M
1739 posts
5/19/2006 3:09 am

Last Read:
6/15/2006 4:32 am

The 12 Commandments From June To July

Subject: Letter to my wife - the 12 commandments from June to July

My dearest darling wife,

From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
Cup, and that way you will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this you will receive my "blank face" look or unfortunately you may be totally ignored.

1. During this religious football festival DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine. At ALL times, without any exceptions. No Home and Away, SBS News, Sex in the City or Rove
Live for the month, although SBS Toyota World Sports with les Murray telling us the days World Cup news is a possibility. But other than that -
None, nil, zero (other TV). If you even make a move for the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV attempting me to get interested in sex during this month forget it or if that fails, please
make sure you put clothes on ASAP because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor .... it won't

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 4 six packs in the fridge at all times as well as plenty of things to nibble on and please
do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 3pm and 4pm for the kids shows, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't
worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things you risk making me even more passionate and increase my desire to kill the referee's
extended family. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" could only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one game" hence do not use the World Cup as a nice, cheesy excuse to
"spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have already seen them a hundred times, I want to see them again. Many

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because;

a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, please be ready within 30 minutes to leave the house.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this ... why don't you change the channel to something so we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
after this comes the Champions League, Italian Serie A, Spanish Primera Liga, EPL etc etc. Don't worry sweetheart I'll explain all the acronyms to you one day.

Yours ever so lovingly

Husband dearest

MaggiesWishes 59F

5/19/2006 4:14 am

I did this ... only once. Our team lost ... wasn't pretty *shakes head*

Good luck
warm wishes 2ya & ya team of choice

Darkpassion 57F

5/19/2006 5:02 am

I'm sure your wife will find something else to occupy her. Why do you think there are so many married women on
You enjoy your footie just make sure you have a phone and menus to'll need it to order takeaways.

methodman1000 39M
1775 posts
5/19/2006 7:46 am

    Quoting Darkpassion:
    I'm sure your wife will find something else to occupy her. Why do you think there are so many married women on
    You enjoy your footie just make sure you have a phone and menus to'll need it to order takeaways.

EbonyHnk 36M

5/20/2006 2:07 am

Dayyyum - You the Dawg !

Whispersoftly5 51F
15176 posts
5/24/2006 12:05 pm

LOL! Poor wife... She only gets to watch one game???


Peche85 31F

6/2/2006 3:55 pm

I think I would go away for a holiday with all the other wives lol.

AussieCuckold 53M/41F

6/13/2006 4:21 am


Loved this! The thing is - it translates well for ANY sport.



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