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9 sex secrets of happy couples........
9 sex secrets of happy couples........
The ladies at "Redbook" are here with some advice to help you make your sex life exciting on a daily basis. They've interviewed top marriage and sex experts, and tons of satisfied couples and come up with a list of the nine sex secrets of really happy couples that YOU can start implementing today.
#1.) THEY GET BUSY. PERIOD
In order to have a good sex life, you have to have
relations on a REGULAR BASIS. Dr. Tina Tessina, who wrote the book "How To Be A Couple And Still Be Free", says,quote, "Couples who don't keep sex going leave a wide-open space where other people start to look attractive."The key is to reach a coital frequency you're both satisfied with, whether that's four times a week or once
every two weeks.
#2.) THEY TOUCH OUT OF BED, TOO:
You hug for no reason, rub each other's feet instinctively when you're on the couch, or, sometimes, just engage in foreplay and not full-on relations. Once you start getting hands-on regularly, sex therapist Barry McCarthy belives
quote, "your sex will become much more natural, because one kind of touch flows into another."
#3.) THEY HAVE FORGIVE-AND-FORGET SEX:
After a fight, couples with strong coital lives generally have make-up sex. Why? Because keeping up the intimacy during tough times is a key to sustaining your love. When a woman reaches over and touches a guy while they're fighting, it shows that they disagree, but their entire
relationship and their entire bond isn't on the line.
Also, if you're arguing, by spending time together focusing on something else, you can help put the fight in perspective.
#4.) THEY NEVER WITHHOLD RELATIONS AS PUNISHMENT:
Showing your anger by never getting in the mood is
DISASTROUS for your sex life. Why? Because, in the
process, it turns a natural, loving act into a bargaining chip and a commodity. Once sex becomes part of a power struggle, resentment builds and soon, NEITHER person will want to get it on.
#5.) THEY DON'T EXPECT HOLLYWOOD SEX:
Couples with healthy sex lives don't expect the Hollywood treatment every time they get together: Candles, billowing sheets, gorgeous lovemaking, simultaneous climax, poetic conversation afterward. That's extremely rare.
According to McCarthy, for happily married couples, up to 15% of erotic encounters aren't even enjoyable for one or BOTH of the people involved.
Secure couples can brush away the off-nights because they're on a regular schedule so every lovemaking session doesn't have the pressure to be EPIC.
#6.) THEY SHOOT FOR SPECIAL SEX, ANYWAY:
The most satisfied couples orchestrate a few eroticadventures throughout the year. . . enough to add spice to an already good thing. When a woman does something like booking a bed and breakfast for a night, planning a mystery
date, proposing a new position, or wearing special
lingerie, it shows her guy that she still cares and that she's still totally INTO their sex life.
#7.) THEY DO THE ULTIMATE INTIMATE MOVE
What's the ultimate intimate move? That's easy: EYE CONTACT DURING CLIMAX. Dr. Laura Berman says, quote, "It's such a vulnerable moment, that sharing it adds a huge degree of intimacy to your relationship."
There's another bonus: Having some eye contact during relations can also make you FEEL and ACT sexier.
#8.) THEY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT FROM BILLS TO PASSION
Obviously, marriage is about A LOT more than just sex. . . it's also about bills, kids, taxes, broken furnaces, gardening, putting various in-laws in nursing homes, and a million other things, too. One of the trickiest things to
do is transition from daily grind tasks to passion.
Here's the secret: Figure out a CODE for "let's be sexy." Whether it's one of you inviting the other one to stretch out on the couch or saying, "There's nothing on TV tonight,
how should we fill the time?" These codes can instantly snap you out of stress mode and into the mood.
#9.) THEY BELIEVE IN QUICKIES:
Quickies are a great way to keep the passion alive AND fit it into a busy schedule. 33-year-old Lori, an accountant in New Hampshire, says, quote, "When I come home at 10 at
night, I am so exhausted that sex with lots of foreplay isn't an option. So I ask him, in the sexiest voice I can muster, 'Want to have a quickie?' Of course, he's up for it, so it works for both of us."
And that's really the key to everything as long as both partners are connecting sexually, it makes it easier to be compassionate, forgiving, romantic and intimate all the time
10/28/2005 10:20 am
Great research, I'll have to consult this often as we have our ups and downs in bed.|
10/28/2005 6:19 pm
Great information. Maybe I should leave a copy of this post for my husband to find....|