Sex and Trust  

merlion45 50F
549 posts
8/18/2006 10:08 pm
Sex and Trust

Having a good relationship doesn't mean you have to have sex. But whatever you do, whether it's kissing, touching or having sex, it should always be something that you both want to do.

Sex is meant to be:

something you decide to do whn you're ready to
something that makes you both feel good
something you can interrupt or stop at any time
safe (because you're both prepared with condoms to portect you from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy)

Sex isn't meant to be:

the only way to prove that you love someone
something you feel pressured or forced into
something you do because 'everyone else is doing it'
something that makes you feel used.
Remember, if you've been kissing or touching but don't want to go any further, that's ok. Kissing is not a contract.

Trust and communication
The most important thing in a sexual relationship is that you trust the other person and you feel like you can communicate with them.

If you are considering a sexual relationship, or if you are in a sexual relationship, ask yourself:

How much do I trust this person to respect what I do and don't want to do?
How comfortable would I feel talking with them about safe sex and contraception?
How comfortable would I feel saying no to them?
Someone who loves you should respect your right to decide if and when to have sex.

If you don't feel ready to have sex, you could say "I really like you but I don't feel ready to have sex yet".


Sex and Pressure
"I kept on pushing his hands away but he just put them back there, then I just froze, I couldn't say anything, it was horrible".

What if someone has touched you or made you touch them in a sexual way, and you felt like you had no choice?

You might have

felt scared to say no
felt pressured into having sex, because they made you think that if you didn't, they'd break up with you, or they wouldn't like you
been asleep or drunk and didn't really know what was going on
been forced into sexual contact
No-one should force you into any type of sexual contact. In fact, this is sexual assault, and it is a crime that can be reported to the police.

Remember, they have done the wrong thing, not you. It can help to talk to someone about it.

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