The Big "C"  

mebanecpl4chat 61M/61F
7 posts
10/16/2005 5:18 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Big "C"


Earlier this week I had to have medical tests done to determine if I had experienced another small stroke. Luckily they found no evidence of any damage if it was one and they held out the possibility it may have been another errant migraine mimicking a stroke. They also checked my circulation and determined the arterial blockages in my legs were not yet significant to warrant intervention but did determine the blood flow in the leg veins is now becoming compromised. Again that will be handled down the road. So I came home feeling pretty good about things. Then Friday I get a call. While I was in they had looked at a spot on my nose but didn't indicate they thought anything of it. They informed me they had made an immediate appointment for me with a dermatologist on Monday. The reason: their suspicion is skin cancer. If it is it will need immediate attention as by appearances it is quite large. If the tests confirm this next week it will be major surgery to repair. I will probably lose 25% or more of my nose. I tell myself that even though skin cancer does run in my family it has never been melanoma, the type that can kill. Still it's just one more problem to deal with. I've faced heart attacks, coronary vessel disease, strokes, peripheral vascular disease, migraines, an infection that damn near killed me, busted knees, a messed up back and other day to day trauma. This one though scares the hell out of me. I don't think it's the possible disfigurement that troubles me. I'm no Prince Charming but I don't break mirrors either. Besides they can do wonders with plastic surgery today. Maybe it's the lack of feeling I'm not in control of this. I can't take meds to help it. I have to put absolute faith in another persons skill and hope they know what they are doing. Also I think I'm beginning to tire of my body slowly breaking down.

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