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Puyallup–A local physician has called in experts from the famed Kinsey Sex Institute to examine a female patient who appears to be in a perpetual state of orgasm. “Her condition is quite unique,” observed Doctor Hardt Pecker. “Her hips have been shuddering for three days straight and her clitoris and labia remain engorged with blood. Her breathing is labored and we may need to put her on oxygen to prevent respiratory arrest.”
The patient, a 37 year old, has gasped out the name of “Josh” repeatedly and provided a sketchy description of a deep-chested, powerfully built man, between 6’1” and 6’2” in height, with a reddish mustache and goatee, blue eyes and baritone voice. “She also keeps muttering about his tongue and swooning,” said Pecker. “Apparently, it had quite an effect on her.”
Authorities are assuring women in the community that there is no need for alarm. “We have no reason to believe other women are at risk, “ noted Sgt Suzy Slut. “This Romeo appears to be a gentleman and what little Doctor Pecker’s patient has shared indicates women are at no risk if they keep their panties on.” Readers should note that every female member of the police force has volunteered to go undercover to investigate this situation, in order to safeguard the community.