Some mixed jokes  

makesupregnant 48M
477 posts
11/3/2005 2:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Some mixed jokes


Some mixed jokes


Question: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
Answer: "Is it mine?"

While making love, she says:
"Darling, let's do 68"!
"68??? What's that"?
"You do it to me and I'll owe you one".

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"

A young man comes up to the drug store and says:
"Give me one condom, please, today I am meeting with my girl. Well, no, give me two condoms, the girl has a very nice sister. Well, no, give me three condoms, the mom of my girl looks also good."
After that he goes to "test" the condoms to girl's home. He sits at the table to have dinner with all the members of the family. But suddenly something wrong happens to the guy. He doesn't utter a word during the dinner, eats nothing.
When the dinner is over his girl asks:
"What's wrong with you? You didn't like meals?"
"Oh, no! The meals was very tasty... But I didn't expect your father to be a druggist."

Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Actually her doctor told her she had but a short time to live. She spoke to her sister and
said " Jennie, when I die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. "I want them to put my name on it and underneath":
"BORN A VIRGIN"
"LIVED A VIRGIN"
"DIED A VIRGIN"
She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker oftombstones and explained what inscription she wanted. The gravestone maker
told her that there were simply too many words to be put on a headstone. Jennie complained that those words were her sisters dying request and the gravestone maker reassured her that he would see what he could do. In about a month the gravestone maker called Jennie and told her the tombstone was ready, and that he had complied with her dead sisters wishes as best as he could. Jennie looked at the tombstone and across the top was her sister's name just as she had asked, and underneath that was printed:
"RETURNED--UNOPENED"

Top 10 dirty golf sayings that really aren't:

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker

7. Look at the size of his putter

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:

1. Hold up..I need to wash my balls first




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