Lady Asking: Have I been too harsh?  

makesupregnant 48M
477 posts
11/9/2005 9:51 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Lady Asking: Have I been too harsh?

Lady Asking: "Have I been too harsh?"

Excerpts from what the lady wrote:

Take tonight for example… I was chatting with a guy for the first time. We’re just a few minutes into the conversation, and he asks, “So how does this work? Do I just show up at your door?”
...I was pretty clear in my profile that I prefer to take a little time getting to know someone before meeting. He says he’s read too many profiles (He just read mine yesterday) to recall all the details.
Suddenly, I’m totally turned off.

Replies: (pars pro toto)

No! You are not being too harsh.
Nope your not being too harsh
Not at all!
Hell no...
Nope not to harsh at all...
I don't believe you were being too harsh

My reply:

As it seems, 100% of people agree in that it wasn't too harsh. This raises doubts. Should 100% of people know a truth? Very often, what too many believe is a stereotype or prejudice or false.

Many stated he was wrong for not having read your profile first. That's incorrect:

>he’s read too many profiles (He just read mine yesterday) to recall all the details.

He seems to have read but couldn't remember details. Now this may not flatter the woman, but can be easily explained: With a ration of 100:1 real ones, it means a man has to read 100 profiles before finding an interested woman - on the average. If he's below average, it will be more. Reading that many profiles, it's quite plausible not to remember many details.

Princess looking for prince charming may not be flattered, but that's how things are.

On an adult site, many aren't looking for prince charming or the innocent dream princess waiting for the one-and-only. Sorry, on an adult site expecting too much from a stranger looks a bit funny. It may be a bit different once you know each other more.

Now he's scolded for heading too quickly towards a meeting. This is neither his fault nor that of many men, it's just a plausible strategy. If they would wait longer, they'd invest more time and possibly decrease their chances.

Some are looking more carefully and wait longer - to exclude health risks, for instance. A typical result: Several times, many letters were exchanged in the beginning. Everything seemed to be settled. The lady is waiting for the meet, writing she can hardly wait. Then letters stop coming. Reason: Things are very quick. There's much competition. Women get many letters here. If they're not laid quickly, someone else will do and the man waiting is out.

These are facts of life. Don't blame men for what many of them do with a good reason because it's the better strategy for them.
If for some men here another strategy works - fine. That doesn't give a reason to blame others for their strategy.

Now don't mock me or what I write for my handle. That has nothing to do with the description of the situation.

It may sound cynical, but it's true: I have rarely experienced that a majority of people is right. A majority doesn't think of things thoroughly and rather repeates common stereotypes more often wrong than right. Those stereotypes which may have been right once will turn false some day.

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