madkitten 53F
433 posts
10/23/2005 11:18 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


This is the 1st post I have had denyed and I cant for the life of me think why. Please A F F, there is nothing bad in this post, please re-read it and give me a real reason for not allowing it.

At last we seem to have some peace.

Friday was awful, it started at 9am I had both my husband and my eldest son going at me all day, calling me names, threatening me and more. They both promised me that when I picked my other kids up from school, as long as I brought them all home, they would just say good bye and then go, but that didnt happen, my other children had to witness 3 hours of more of the above, I was locked in the house, dont ask me how they got my keys off me cause I havent got a clue, but I did still have my phone, by 6.30 me and the kids could take no more so I managed to ring the police, they got them to leave the house and agree that they wouldnt come back that night, why I didnt do it earlier, no idea why except I really didnt want my kids to see Dad being escorted from the home.

By 8am the next morning they where back, they still had a back door key and when I took mine out of the lock to stop my youngest son from letting his Dad in, he managed to use his own key and get in, Saturday continued much the same as Friday, except this time I did have my keys, phone and had access to my car, I did manage to speak to someone at Womens Aid, but all they could really offer me and the kids was refuge some 100 miles away, but I was worried that if I left the house for any real length of time I wouldnt be able to get back in, and my daughter did tell me she wanted me to stay and fight for our home, it comes to something when Im asking my daughter what she wants me to do, doesnt it. We did manage to get a couple of hours respite, as I took 3 of the kids to my brothers, my brother and I dont get on there is a big age difference and lots of upsetting things have happened due to my brothers wife, but I took the chance that for the sake of my kids they would just give us a couple of hours refuge and it was the last place my husband would expect me to go to. The rest of Saturday was pretty much the same as friday but not quite so loud and I felt stronger, knowing that my other kids wanted me to fight on, instead of backing away.

This morning things really came to a head, as the only thing I could think was that if I went and left the kids with their Dad, then it would put an end to it. Once he realised that I was willing to do this he agreed to go and took my eldest son with him, they have gone back to his Mums its only for a few days, but he has promised me that when he comes back to Torquay he wont stay here, he will get a flat with our son and we will see marriage guidance, Im not sure if they can help us, but for the sake of the kids I will give this ago, he knows now that I will ring the police, we have talked for over an hour on the phone, and I mean talk, not shout or cry, he admits he has done a lot of wrong things, I dont know if he is capable of change, but he wont live in this house again unless he can, and he knows my Kids come before him, they depend on me, and he should be able to stand on his own 2 feet, I know one of his friends has just told him he needs to grow up and take some responsibility for his life instead of relying on me or his Mum to look after him.

I would like to thank all of you for your support, just knowing I had people who I could tell what was happening made a big difference.

The reason I didnt involve my Dad to much is because he has never liked my husband, in fact never liked any of my boyfriends and never seems to understand emotions, to him things are black and white, there is no grey and there is no emotional involvement, heck he once tried to tell me I was too emotionally involved when my son was born prem at 26 weeks, I dont want any of you thinking I wasnt taking peoples advice.

digdug41 49M

10/24/2005 6:37 am

hey MK you do what you need to but if his ass starts acting up you call the police and have him removed,I hope that you do find some peace and piece of mind it makes it so much easier to get along in life and if you think about it it is a quick trip so try to enjoy more than enduring pain but I'm sure things will look up. cya later

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

dranba 39F

10/24/2005 10:26 am

Mk, it seems to me that there is a lot of hope here. Your husband needs to realise that he can't behave as he has done, and I think the message is getting through.

You know exactly how important your kids are, however I believe that you have done the right thing. It is so important that you and the children are safe, and he now knows that you will do everything to protect them - even if it puts you in an awkward position, and maybe embarrasses him.

Tread carefully for now. Don't forget the hurt that he has caused, but keep the communication open. I will be thinking of you.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/25/2005 6:43 am

Ditto Dranba.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
10/25/2005 11:22 pm

Dranba's advice is right on the nail. The only thing I would add is I don't think hubby is capable of change. Talk, keep it civil, but don't concede.

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