Friday Night what really happened.  

madkitten 53F
433 posts
10/8/2005 1:46 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friday Night what really happened.

So this is what really happened last night.

I took forever getting ready to go out, because I was looking for any excuse not to go out, and I didnt want to look to good either, as I didnt want him thinking I was going to a lot of trouble to look nice for him, how come its harder to dress down than it is to dress up?

We went for a meal in a typical old english pub, its a converted barn, lovely setting if your trying to put things right, all romantic, candles on the table etc.

So what did we talk about, the kids, the pub, his car, his job, I read my table mat about 15 times about another old english pub, read the christmas menu 20 times, and we managed all this before the meal came, thank god for food, we didnt need to talk while we eat, in between courses I counted the beams in the ceiling and looked at the old teapots and other curiors dotted around.

After we had finished eating, we moved to the parlour part of the pub, all sofas and open fires, we where the only couple in there, and he starts asking whats wrong? why do you find it so hard to talk to me? Oh I was so tempted to say everything just as I had written yesterday, but no I kept my mouth shut.

But I did tell him after much promting from him, that I was in touch with my first love, and he didnt fly off the handle as I expected, OK so I didnt tell him what we talk and text about, he did ask me if I was having an affair, which I felt I could honestly say NO, if he had asked me if I had, had sex with anyone else I wouldnt of been able to answer though.

So Im still a coward and still dont feel as though I have really got anywhere, but I am still alive, so maybe tomorrow or next week I may find a way out of this mess.

And yes that is a picture of the actual pub we where in.

digdug41 49M

10/8/2005 6:07 pm

hey MK you be easy about things dont need to rush but if it comes down to it and he ask's the right questions then be straight with him that way you can move on.

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

dranba 39F

10/8/2005 6:24 pm

Hi Mad, I'm glad that you told him about your first love and it's good to hear that he didn't react badly. Maybe in time you can tell him more.

Take care

lifeisablast333 53M

10/9/2005 6:14 am

Yep you are in a tight spot, I dodn't know the right way to end a relationship, but I can tell you some ways that I have found that do not work out very well. First, never interduce them to thier replacement, some how it pisses them off. Don't get caught cheating, in the act, yeah, that really pisses them off. One of my ex's thinks that a post-it note is not good enough....(and I was trying to be nice that time)
I just read travelingintexas' comment, he makes some sence, the truth is a cool way, I tried the truth a time or two and it went pretty well. And if he makes your skin crawl, stop putting yourself through the pain. The next time he asks what is wrong, just tell him.
And if ya feel it is really juicy stuff, there is always the Jerry Springer Show....only a thought.......The Redneck...................

MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
10/9/2005 10:55 am

One step at a time- unless he's been a complete dill-hole to you, then letting him down easily is the kindest thing you can do.

Some folx advocate the bandage-removal method- one quick tug, and the pain is gone...

It's only gone for the tugger. For the Tuggee, if it comes out of the blue, seemingly totally unprovoked, their pain will linger for a very long time, nursing the seeping hole in their flesh where the Band-Aid had been.

If he's equally unhappy, and things have deteriorated beyond repair or even damage control, then it may not require too much guiding for him to arrive at the same conclusion you have. After so much life and kids shared together, it's worth your best efforts to make the break in as 'friendly' a manner as you possibly can.

Best of Good Luck! I sure don't envy you the pickle you're in...


Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
10/9/2005 2:18 pm

dear madkitten, I think you've handled this one really well. It's tricky and it will take time. He's not the world's greatest communicator, is he, and I guess you outgrew him a long time ago. You have shown your strength in flying solo, and clearly he hasn't.

It's going to be tough, one step at a time but it strikes me that he has to pass your tests. I posted Women 'losing interest in sex' in the last day or so, and it's not only worth a read but the comments by dranba and Anemone1 are really sound.

You deserve something better than this. I agree with MisterPriapus to get him to share your conclusion that things are past a redeemable point.

One step at a time. My thoughts and prayers, as always, brave friend. warm xx

madkitten 53F
291 posts
10/10/2005 12:19 pm

Frnds, you are braver than me.

Dig, trying to be straight with him, but he doesnt listen to half of what I say.

Dranba, I only told him part of it, I didnt tell him about the sex texts we exchange.

Trav, I wish I was brave enough to tell him the truth about me.

Redneck, I had thought that the previous post about what I would like to say would have to be done on the Springer show, at least then I would have some protection. lol

MisterPriapus, I have tried to be gentle, I have tried to be forceful, but communcation isnt a very good part of our relationship, I almost wish I could find him someone else. lol

Warm, I read your post the only thing is, I have only lost interest in sex with him, but think its more of a combination of other things, and Im not even sure that the sex with him was that good to start with, its just another thing we cant talk about.

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