Company Policy Changes  

madeinmichigan 39M
39 posts
8/3/2006 9:57 pm

Last Read:
8/22/2006 6:44 pm

Company Policy Changes


Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

My boss has an interesting sense of humor. He sent all of us this e-mail message a few weeks ago as a joke. It's pretty funny.

Company Policy Changes
===================

The following policy changes will go into effect immediately.

Dress Code:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your

salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag,

we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not

need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money

better so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do

not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and

therefore you do not need raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Toilet Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet

paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture

will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the

company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category."

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under

the company's mental health policy.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,

frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation or input should be

directed elsewhere.

Hampmeister 57M

8/6/2006 8:21 am

ROTFLMAO-SCOOMN!

James, fellow Michigander


free2chose2 66F

8/11/2006 9:13 am

Extremely funny

Don't worry, be Happy


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/12/2006 3:31 am

This was too funny, and I work in a small place...you'd think i'd have seen you around the proverbial water cooler because this list sure follows my company's policies LOL


bustybettyboop 50F  
59325 posts
8/12/2006 8:02 am

lmao...that was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

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