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D/s verse vanilla relationships
D/s verse vanilla relationships
Control, a natural dominant person is always in control, and that is what I am looking for. Not all of my sexual encounters have been d/s relationships, but the most exciting and fulfilling ones have been. On a rare occasion, a man has tried to dominate me using fear and pain for me it does nothing for me, all it did was make realize I had made a big mistake in my judgment of this person, and I got the hell out fast.
A true dominate knows how to get what he wants. In the work place, he can get his subordinates to a something specific and he can do it in such a way, that the subordinate think it was his idea. He is not being sneaky; he just knows what works, and how to be in control. A dominate also keeps strong people around him, he does not want someone that is weak around him. He has no use for weak people.
In the bedroom, he does not want a weak submissive, does that mean he wants someone that is going to fight him in everything he wants to do; he wants a strong woman emotionally. A submissive need to be able to handle what he is going to throw at her, from a task of not being able to masturbate for a week, or to take her to edge, and not allow her to orgasm, and in return the sub must know what he likes, what is it that makes him hot.
One of my favorite tasks I was ever sent on was a simple task, so I thought, I was sent out into this little town we were staying at all he wanted was something simple. He knew something I did not, I was sent off told I had so long to find this item, and return to the inn for dinner by 5:00 PM, I went to every store in the freaking little town, the longer I was away, the more excited I became, excited because I was doing something for him, and excited that I was failing, Sounds strange I know. Finally I found the simple item and made it to the table just in to time.
The man I was with, knew exactly what a task it was going to be for me to find the item he was looking for, but, he also knew exactly how stubborn I was, and that I would find it, but it took me to the last business, which I would of never of thought would have had what I was looking for. I learned something, and was justly rewarded.
8/12/2006 8:01 am
Ok first of all I have to ask what was the object?|
Next, the fear and pain thing. Most of those that I know in the "lifestyle" use the application of pain in different ways, yes there are those that are rewarded with the pain that they enjoy so much. But that is a subject for a different blog entry.
I don't know if you think the same way as I do on this, but Domination through pain is nothing but the Domination over the body. Hey I am not trying to say that it is wrong but that Dommination seems to me to be simple minded, not to mention lacking of excitment. Dommination in the mental aspect I personally feel is that of a higher level, and also more challenging and rewarding to achive.
Now as far as the bedroom, to each their own and to their own devices of enjoyment. Although the D/s lifestyle should not be contained to the bedroom but to every aspect of life. I myself can't submit the input for every Domm out there. Although from my prespective I doubt that any Domm would desire to have a submisive that was weak or constantly needing direction, but yet not one that overly agressive and fighting or questioning him every step of the way.
Yes I am in the lifestyle and I have had a sub that was constantly needing my attention, that didn't last for long. I also have had one online (that was a joke) that decided to be rather abnoxious and disrespectfull, I don't sugest anyone rely on the net for the lifestyle.
Now if you are looking to compare the two, D/s vs vanillia, then there is not much to compare. Now I know someone out there is going to give me shit for thisbut here we go. Now before I contuine I must thank you for stating it as D/s rather then the whole BDSM thing that it is so closley related to. Now as far as comparison:
The easiest way to do this is through old TV shows. (Don't laugh I am serious)
Leave it to Beaver: A show about a normal healthy family in societies veiwpoint, right?
Now for simplicty we break down the charcters of the show. And I am mainly looking at the parents Ward and June (or was it Judy?). He is the man of the house, works a normal 9 - 5 job, and comes home and takes care of his "manly" duties around the house. She (if I am rembering correctly) is a stay at home mom, keeps the house clean, takes care of the shoping, and cooks that food to have it redy promptly at a preset time. These two roles are known as the Provider and Caregiver. When He gets home she tends to his comfort so that he can relax from a hard days work. He catches up on what has been happening at his home while at work, and guides his kids through the life's lessons that they have come across throught the day. As we see she never questions His decions or disrespects him.
Now we will take this model that society has given us as the perfect American family and change one simple thing. We will now and forever call the Provider the Domminate, and the caregiver the submisive. And there you have it, D/s is P/c. Now we never really saw their bedroom activites so the could have well been BDSM as well.
I could contuine but I fear that I would start rambeling like I do so oft.