The AFF Catch 22  

luther672 49M
27 posts
12/3/2005 10:54 am

Last Read:
10/21/2006 3:37 pm

The AFF Catch 22

I can't believe it! it's been over a month since I last posted anything. Life has been crazy, not to mention busy and broke. LOL. But I'm back and hoping to be more regular about blogging.

That said, I want to post about an interesting development I've noticed on the site. I have had a few people contact me through my email asking abouthow much experience I have had on the site. Apparently they are using this number to gauge whether or not they want to meet with someone. Well, if you are on the site, aren't you here to do just that? If someone happends to have a high number of get togethers, is it that this person is too experienced for you or are you looking for those who just talk the talk but don't walk the walk ?

I had another thing happen. From time to time I take my picture down for a week or so and then put it back up again. Just my panic driven mind thinking in "what if.." scenarios I suppose. Anyway,one of these time another member contacted me and the first question was "What race are you?" and the second was "Are you black?" I really didn't know where that was going so I fired back "What difference does that make? I don't see your race listed." For the record, black I am and never hide it. so I eventually meet the person in question and they explain to me that the reason for th equestion is that there are those who do not play with people of colour and hence the decision to exclude race from the profile. Well "hello," Don't you think they will figure it out when you meet anyway ? I mean there are some things yo ucan hide, but THIS ?

Seems like people are puttig more barriers up to prevent them from doing exactly what they came here to do in the first place. is that a human condition? That we stab ourselves int he foot and still expect to win the race.

I would like some feedback on this and if you all have encountered similar paradoxes.

Talk to you all later


Lube12 66M
1 post
12/3/2005 11:06 am

My dear you may not have noticed but most of the men out here are married and looking.

The women are looking but have become 18 year old vergins again, protecting their vertue.

Come on folks, be real. We all need love and it all does not have to end with a ring.

rm_apleaser55 61M

12/3/2005 12:08 pm

luther672 - feedback...
I would not want to find out a woman was black when I met her [even though I was attracted and would enjoy meeting her] - especially when I could find out in a few seconds on this site or by personal email. Maybe I am somewhat superficial, but looks are important to some degree.

Just like a woman would not want to find out when we meet, whether I am either old/young, fat/thin, hair/no-hair, married or not, etc. Many (not all) women prefer to know *before* we meet.

Maybe it was the way they asked? Maybe it would have better if they
just simply asked for your picture?

Thanks for the post!

CCcouple25m27f 36M/36F  
154 posts
12/5/2005 11:26 pm

Cant we all just get along... hey Anson hon... ltns!!!!
For the record, I know I dont care what color you are... I can still be your friend and you could be polka dotted! apleaser55, you are right that women want to know who they are dealing with and they want to know the real face on the person, not a mask of made up fantasy. So in short- we should all just be honest with one another and even if we dont click sexually, maybe we will find some awesome friends!

hugs and gropes around!


rm_CCLordDamien 40M/38F
77 posts
12/6/2005 11:32 am

Eh. the only "race" question i care about is "are you human?" Colors only skin deep. Body type, now, that's something different. its not all that important, but it does make a difference. I personally want to know what to expect. I WILL be dissapointed if i'm expecting slender and athletic and meet full figured. But if i'm EXPECTING to meet a full figured woman, thats fine. mostly i just hate being lied to. personal hangup, coming from my personal background.

I will admit that ethnicity does matter to me in one small way. i'm EXTREMELY attracted to asian women. but that's not a disqualifying bias.

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
12/20/2005 10:43 am

Umm...just wondering...why you would want to get together with anyone stupid enuf to not want to get together with you because you are black?

Just a thought...


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

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And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

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rm_lakeHDone 68M
2 posts
3/5/2006 11:17 am

Man is it me? or are we still in the 60's where race was an issue. This is the 21st century, come to it and leave your predigese's behind. Luther672 your in the same boat as I, Every now and then I see post with White or Caucation only on them, I just pass those by and hope that they find what they are looking for.

lakeHDone, just my two cents worth.

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