Life As I Don't Know It  

lustcurious42 56F
257 posts
8/10/2006 10:21 pm

Last Read:
8/13/2006 4:35 pm

Life As I Don't Know It


My sister called me last night to say that people are trying to encourage my mom to go to the doctor for altheimer's. She's a whopping 62. My Grandma, the one who raised me, she got altzheimer's in her early 60's. She was such a bright and smart woman. I remember visiting her in the nursing home once and her telling me she didn't know who I was, but I was one of the nicest people she'd ever met. I smiled at her and told her she was too......... She was lucky to have Grandpa there to love her, to hold her. I held her hand the minute she took her last breath and for just a moment in time, I wondered if she knew who I was. I cried, just a little. But I had really cried many, many years earlier for the woman that I loved who was lost.
Isn't life funny? My mom, the party woman, the wild woman. Right when fun should be starting. I hope she's just dingy, really I do. I hope it's nothing. I just lost Grandma a couple years ago and I'm not ready to do this again. I wonder if her husband will be there, will love her still. Will make sure she eats and wears clean clothes and not let whiskers grow on her chin. I hate that about getting old. Old women with hairs on their face.
Really, their not a whole lot older than me when this awful disease sets in. I mean relatively speaking, what's 16 years out of a lifetime? Will it claim me too? Another cruel victim? Sometimes I think I don't want to get serious because damn, someday I'm gonna get old and quit rolling down green grassy hills. And maybe I'd just rather do it alone. Maybe I don't want some man to be there beside me. Do you all know what I mean? It's not like falling in love when you're young. Anyway, this is what is on my mind tonight. Gloomy as it is. But such is this little thing called life and I do believe, oh yes I really do, that all things in their own time find destiny and peace.


nightis 52M

8/11/2006 6:40 am

You can sit on the sidelines and watch or you can jump in and play with with your friends! I choose the latter.

Worry not now...just go.


lustcurious42 replies on 8/12/2006 9:54 am:
I know you're right............just scary thoughts. And I hate the thought of possibly watching my mom go through something. But I think I will find some hills to roll down tonight and some laughs to be had.........
Thank you

goodatpoetry2 66M
12381 posts
8/11/2006 12:02 pm

I'm sorry to hear this. Maybe everything will be OK.
It's WAY too early for you to be worrying about this happening to you. Worrying gets you nowhere. Enjoy your "now", now.
Besides, you're weird enough that nobody would probably notice, anyway.


lustcurious42 replies on 8/12/2006 9:54 am:
Where's my fucking whip when I need it? You're lucky you're clear across the country or I'd be spanking yer arse!!!!

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