How Lucky I Am  

lustcurious42 56F
257 posts
8/6/2006 10:46 pm

Last Read:
8/16/2006 5:32 am

How Lucky I Am


I spent the day with My Sweet Lover.....what a change in our relationship from the old days. After years of semi-living on the street, my sister finally got an apartment today!! My Sweet Lover and I loaded up a bed from my house and a couple other odds and ends and brought them to her. I hope to still find a couch and a small table for her. She doesn't have a car, so we brought her grocery shopping and all in all, it was a good day. My girls were with me.....we all laughed and had a good time.
I hope for my sister that a bad chapter of her life is ending and that there are new beginnings in store for her. You probably wonder how I could have allowed a sister that I love to live on the streets. I've asked myself that question a hundred times. It's been a tough 7 years. We used to try and help her and her girls, and sometimes there comes a realization that someone has to hit rock bottom to help themselves and then you can be there. And there was a violence in her spirit, just as much as there was loving and caring, that I could not bring into my home. I thought when I got custody of her girls, that would be rock bottom. But little did I know how deep a pit can go. We weren't to the rock bottom yet.
And you balance all that with being a single mom (me) who suddenly found herself raising four kids instead of just two........ I thanked God for giving me my intelligence, I thanked him for my resilence, I thanked him for sparing me from mental illness and drug abuse that can tear a mother from the children she bore. And I questioned many a time why not my sister? Why her? I hear people talk badly of social systems and yes, I agree, many people take advantage of the systems at our expense. But as a country, as a community, we do so little to help those who truly cannot help themselves. Families are left not knowing what to do. There was a time in my past when I didn't know how I could go another day without going bonkers, that I felt like I had taken on to much and could never succeed. There were days when I knew I had no choice but to succeed. I wonder what life would be like if different choices had been made.
So today the Sweet Lover and I spent a day living reality, being thankful for what we have, and hoping that this time the streets will not beckon and a new life can begin
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