Guestbook
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May 27, 2008 4:40 am
27159 Views
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Sign my guestbook or i will cry like a bitch 
Pleaseeeeeeee!!!! 
thanks, and word to your moms
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305
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Secret box
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May 27, 2008 4:31 am
21171 Views
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Come put your big stiff thoughts into my hot wet secret box lol. Yeah Yeah im a big ole copy cat, but it looked like a good idea. Maybe? 
p.s
I wont say a word, unless ya want me to, also afore mentioned secret box is actually an ass smoking a cigarette and wearing too much lipstick. Your secrets are safe with the ass.
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6
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, 103 Pending
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The Classics
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Sep 23, 2008 7:26 am
18377 Views
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My descent into madness, all here neat and organized for you. Lunacy wrapped in a bow, the classics....... (new and mother fucking improved,and super and ultra and mega! (may or may not be in the order/category that I have claimed it would be in due to very bad organizational skills) Now with sprinkles
Politics/people/bitching about stuff ( be afraid, be very afraid)
I wanna be anarchy (a brief definition)
Mush for the masses
The 13 bloodlies
MKULTRA pt. 1
Valley of the dolls
Libertarians v Anarchists
Lets dig up Woodrow Wilsons corpse
Multifaceted rant, from the sleepy and highly bitchy.
Subversion
Question your purpose
Monkey business
Its because the owl is illuminated, he sees in the dark
Do you still love me when I sound insane?
The communist manifesto
The Encyclopedia Psychopathica volume 1
Politics 101
Insaneometer, tinfoil hat sold seperately
Rant rant bitchy rant rant.
Oh Santa baby
Strawman
Steal stuff for Jesus
Buzzkill sandwich
Springtime for the cookie monster
Bloodletting
This and that and this and stuff and all
Rampage
Down with Walmart, yadda yadda
Caveman, Just an idea not everything has to make sense
Top 10’s and listy things and polls and suchlike
L.j's top ten most fuckable ugly guys
I want .........
L.j 's top ten awesome things
L.j's top 10 things that are pissing me off
Your totally factual, definite horoscope
Mixed tape
Mixed tape B side
Lj's top ten things that make me horny
2 for 5$ place orders now, thier goin like hotcakes
Crazy poetry lady's Choclate kitty licks
Ok we need aluminum foil, grapes, a lighter and ......
Its on bitches!
How to know if your a fucker
I never had it in the ear before
L.j's top ten things I thought of today
Your totally factual, definite horoscope
I Love Cunt
How to talk to cops, trust me
Lj's most morbid top 10 ever
Glory poles, yea or nay?
Favorite sex food
Stuff about my pussy, other peoples pussy, misc, and a lot of the word fuck
Dreams
Eye fucked by Mr. yum yum
My hot bath
See im sensitive
FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK
Heres lookin at you Kitty 
Fuck, as used by notable people through out history
Pussy Talk
Crazy poetry lady's Choclate kitty licks
Paging Dr. Big Bird
Bimbosity, its bimbtastic
Would you still love me if I said spank me hard yea thats right u fucking fucker?
Cagney and Pussy
Wanna fuck?
New category* men/dumb shit/ bitching about/ random
Ya fucking know what?
Douchebaggery
The man trifecta
Seriously??
Gimme the shoes kinda bitch
Lifes a bitch, then what
Anything
Old People
It happens every day, could it happen to you?
The Weirdness
Meka leka hi, meka hiney ho! but I could have just called it - happy
How many licks does it take to get to the center of the universe?
Other people’s stuff
A poem that doesnt suck
The value of a phsycotic experience
Pink flamingos, and the divinty
somebody
Girl in a miniskirt reading the bible outside my window
The Man who taught his asshole to talk
Female trouble
Eat it bitches its yummy
A post with a dildo and a little bit of areola
Im in love with my dildo
Me as a pirate
Well shiver me mother fucking timbers
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19
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Green for the money gold for the honey baby
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Oct 21, 2009 8:47 am
12577 Views
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So, today I am thinking that I should lay back with my cane and my goblet and sip some Courvoisier(sweet tea) and paint my toenails (whore red, if you are wondering), and you should pimp yourselves. Don’t get me wrong I want to be pimp loved but if I have to I will rule with pimp terror (so do it!). I have like 3 pages of watched pimp blogs, but I like meeting new people and I wanna check out so many other blogs, and visit all yous guys too. So, here we go two birds one stone. Consider this sticky the little seedy piss scented alley where you can come to paint up your slutty little blogs and parade them around for us wolves to ogle and grunt at (do wolves grunt, how come I never know what animal makes what sound?) And at the same time, it is an easy reference for me. A pimprectory if you will. Get busy bitches, time is money.
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25
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Gynocology
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Mar 21, 2011 7:48 am
6206 Views
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Jane Velez Mitchell, you know, that newscaster on HLN who has the one show and every other breath she says war on women, you know her right? So it’s like war on women, and go vegan and then she talks about being a recovering addict and how we are all addicted to everything, like Gummi Bears and masturbation and chapstick and all. Well, my point is, and as dear old mom would say, “That bitch makes my ass want a chew of tobacco”. I was never sure what the hell that meant until I saw her annoying little bouncy face and now I know. She makes my ass want to chew, smoke, snort, eat a cheeseburger, and a nun with a banana.
But…. She is right, she is wrong but she is right. She thinks that the war is the bullet. Look at us bitches. Take a long hard fucking look. The easiest way to wage a war, is to get the target to eliminate itself. Now I could write and write about burning witches, yardsticks, suffrage, you know HIStory but I don’t need history. Look at us, the shit we do. We shove plastic bags into our tits, shave our cunts, wear shoes that kill our feet, inject our faces, compare ourselves to emaciated glorified coat hangers , fuck like men, hate each other, ect. I am no different, I don’t have bags in my tits, I don’t inject my face and I don’t hate other women. Unless I just hate your ass, regardless of your vag. What I am saying, is even me. I am acutely aware of the fuckedupness in everything. I know I am being marketed to, manipulated and but I bend over and take it too. I try to maintain my own standards. I try to navigate this. Bitches, do two things for me please, stop being so hard on yourself, stop being so hard on the rest of us, oh and just fucking say what you mean. Ok 3.
The other day I saw a picture of a naked woman, she didn’t have a stitch of makeup on, she had a bush, and she was 60 something, she was one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. Stunning even. Maybe it was good bone structure or healthy living or maybe it was because she was committing a criminal act- aging. Bitches are the chaos of nature, and the cat’s meow.
Songs of the Day* First off RIP Smiley Culture, who apparently asked to make a cup of tea during a police raid and stabbed himself through the chest, bone and all because cops would never have done that doing- Cockney Translation, and then Police Officer. Patti Smith- Piss Factory, anything by Gene Vincent or Eddie Cochran and last but not least, Kitty Wells- I don’t Claim to be an Angel.
Mood* Unicorn Blood, Winning!
Bonus**(Once you suck the hard candy shell off of the outside of this post, a river of chewy caramel Bukowski will squirt into your mouth.)
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25
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Some candy talking.
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Feb 20, 2011 5:31 am
6934 Views
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I'm a Sour Patch Kid.
-Blog Wars, God, I need a fucking douche saber to fight this war. Ok, now I am not even quite certain what exactly the fuckness is going on around here. But, I do know this, some people are fuck nuts crazy. You can pretty much tell by the blatant and absurd shit they say in whichever character they say it in. Also let me just slip this in here, I can’t even manage to get a slight blog disagreement like oooh you bitch you think Connery was better than Moore. Nothin, I gets fucking nothing! I mean I talk the shit, when I see a retard I say hey retard. If anybody is going to be all socially reprehensible around here you think it would be me, but no. My point was this though, isn’t personal it’s just true and I want to make fun of it because it is stupid cuntery! Make it hurt more bitches or get a hobby, whichever. I’d like to smack half of you with big floppy fish, for some reason I have a thing for slapping people with fish.
-Fat acceptance. Now look, I could be fattish I’m not sure because fatness has changed so quickly over the past few years. I’m a size 10 and very tall but my thighs shake a little after I stop moving. I smoke 1 and a half to 2 packs of newports per day and I drink copious amounts of coffee and or evil energy drinks. So what I do is, I take super greens, vitamin c and e, drink tons of water, I never eat fast food and I very very rarely engage in eating suspect meat or eggs and weird processed gmo-ness. I am healthish at best. I only run if cops are chasing me, but I do get plenty of cardio at work and I do my weights. I’m no fucking Olympic hopeful. You know what I am though, healthy by comparison and that’s some shocking shit. I don’t say this out of meanness, I know I can seem mean but that’s just to hide the sweet marshmallow stuffing that I made of. (What, don’t look at me like that you cock sucker?) At a point we need to be real, you may be big and you may be beautiful I have seen it plenty or times but you aren’t healthy. I don’t love you any less either, but you are not healthy. And I won’t lie to you. And ,I know, not all thin people are healthy either, it is just harder to see. I don’t care about fatness on an individual level, I care about the mentality that allows us to say hey Stan, I know you are 382 lbs, but yea you’re healthy cuz it’s that same motherfucker who could potentially be convinced that yea, robot overlords are our friends. Also I care about the complete disconnect that we have with food, as a foodie it really pisses me off. It’s like when someone says Robert Kincaid is good art and you feel your spleen crawl out of your asshole. Also, I also hate that we as people can’t talk about this reasonably and rationally. So, if you disagree, do me a favor, a) let’s have a rational dialogue or b ) let’s have a Dynasty style blog war about it (I get to be Joan Collins though).
-You know how it’s politically incorrect to say that’s gay? Sure ya do, there is a psa about it. Well, you know what stop with the hillbilly jokes you fags Because look, yea, there may have been some sister fucking and some piggy squealin and some dueling banjos but you know what. We were guerrilla rebel warriors and mountain scientists too you cunts. I mean what’s wrong with wanting to live alone on a mountain with your dog and gun(s) (ok, various artillery) and some mash? You got dinner and cocktails. You uppity city bitches.
- If you are in line at the grocery store, please have the common fucking decency to push that little stick thing back for me. Firstly, it is just common courtesy. It comes from the same sector of your brain that says hey; maybe I should open the door for that old drunk lady with one leg. And secondly, because the next time I have to lean over your shit to get that stick thingy I am going sodomize you with it and then dance on your face. Thank you.
Then Sweet
-I like naming things; I have an almost unnatural compulsion to name things. I have a stuffed unicorn (I know it’s kind of douchey, but I manage to pull it off). Her name is Lula Rainbow Mango Apple Fritter. Also I have a bunion, it’s sexy. I have named it Emilio Larry Vasquez because if it was human it would have a pencil stache and a hair net, and not even work in a kitchen. I have a lizard named Frankie Two Tones. You get the point. Yay.
-The Scientist will be here on Thursday. It’s his birthday, gonna make him a cake. I’m like a fucking nun or an angel. A slutty nun…. The patron saint of frosting. Whatever, it’s sweet enough.
-I’m going to donate my vagina to science.
-Oh, I forgot, this should probably be under sour, but maybe we can work with it. Ok, look if you are lucky enough to win the lottery quit your fucking job at the factory. To not do so is just dickish in every possible way. Do I even have to explain the sheer dickishness of this? Just consider it, in the spirit of sweetness I’m not going to sodomize you with anything I am just going to say please this time. Yay me super awesome nicey sweet angel raspberry sugar stick love pants!
Songs of the Day * Lascia ch’io Pianga the Montserrat Caballe version. I have no words for this perfectness. Usually I would just say something like perftacular but yea, no. The Pixies doing Bird Dream of the Olympus Mons, because it’s rad. Motorhead doing Motorhead, if I ever get a bunion cool enough to be called Lemmy I’m going to be a happy little girl. And last but not least Wanda Jackson doing the Amy Crackhouse song You Know I’m No Good the right way. Awesome!
Mood* Popcorn Sutton but more Homicidey than Suicidey. In other words, fair to midland.
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Cunt orgy sex fun time spaghettio's
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Jan 30, 2011 5:44 am
6989 Views
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Ok, well maybe there is a God. If there is he will have duck feet and Leonard Nimoy’s face, that whole obvious sense of humor thing. Anyhow, yes, there may be a God because I got a lightning bolt of not going to Europe for xmas. The whole big snowy fuck fest thingy. We decided to postpone, but now I am going in May unless those bastard Mayans got the stupid doomsday calendar wrong. I pouted, I cried, I pleaded, I promised to stop masturbating (on a stack of bibles) on Sunday, I thrashed around on the floor, I had cake, I came to terms. I can’t believe it is February already.
I think 2011 is going to be one fuck of a year, birds are falling from the sky, fish are floating dead, massive floods are killing people, and now I’m a MermaidPegasus instead of a Gemini.
Truly though, I just feel weird all down in my bones, it even smells weird outside. It smells like a dream and bandaids. Everything just seems so fragile and I feel like I am waiting for the big crack. It is just the spirit of the times, internally and externally. The bubble within the bubble within the bubble. It’s like how old hippies set around and talk about the fiasco that was the sixties with such nostalgia; it was the end of innocence and yada yada. That period, every period has a thing, like a soul or a spirit or something that you are cushioned inside of. Inside of the this realm is you and inside of you is another spirit, soul of the moment of your mushy insides and outside of all of it is a vast black, idk boxy thing or even another bubble if you like. Now, culturally a lot of shit happened in the sixties (were put into motion), this external force helped create an internal little swirly ball. So when old hippies get together for their ten year drum circle jamboree and they start to talk about Wavy Gravy and the candy bar in Marianne Faithful’s cunt or whatever they get this recall of the spirit that the spirit of the time evoked in them. Make sense? It may or may not.
These spirits of time are things we buy, read, see, hear, eat, drink, consume, call news or art or entertainment, ect. Currently, the prevailing atmosphere is one of ahhhhhhhhhhhh, oh fuck, fuck, Margret get the gun the Armageddon zombies have unleashed the asteroids, water crisis world market crash, maximum overdrive, mega-quake fucking History channel, maybe they meant hysterics channel. I just want to say stop it, stop it right fucking now. Is bad shit going to happen, yes most fucking likely? Are you going to save yourself with a potato peeler and some duct tape? Doubt it vagina tooth. Three fucking hours of this shit! I mean really, we been hiding under desks from atom bombs for sixty odd years, it’s kind of like stabbing a hungry bear to death with a toothpick. I think we just like horror movies, or the thought that maybe we will feel something.
Oh yes oh cunt orgy sex fun time spaghettio’s. Is it wrong to instinctively suck the nitrous out of the dead whipped cream can like a gas vampire?
Music- I have been wrapped up in so much of it lately, virtually molested by it, but I didn’t mind. So……..
Songs of the day* Solo Nico in her full out big Nordic(?)German self doing My Heart is Broken. This needs to be played loud, it is fucking Epic, Epic I say. And then 2 Nick Cave songs, I am sorry about being always with the Nick, but if he were anymore fucking brilliant my asshole would turn inside out and swallow me. Nick Cave,The Weeping Song, and then Hard on for Love.
Also, damn, sorry I missed so much and didn’t respond to so much, I will catch up.
Mood* Visual purple
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26
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Lightning and Eagles! Lj does Europe hard :)
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Dec 19, 2010 3:24 pm
7662 Views
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I’m so sorry Europe; God just loves me even though I think I officially became an atheist last week.
Hey home biscuits. Sooooooooo, Merry Christmas Guess what, is that what you say? I got the best motherfucking Christmas present ever! The Scientist (I am still running through names for new guy) is taking me to Europe for Christmas, London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Stuttgart Germany. This is like giving me a million dollars and a unicorn and a Ramones in space musical. See, every since I was a little baby miscreant all I have wanted was to do was to see this big stupid faced world, you know, twist its balls and stuff. When I was about 7 I had this little blue suitcase, I packed it, and walked into the living room and straight told mom and dad, yo parents I’m outta here. In hindsight, it wasn’t really the best way ever to runaway but they just laughed and let me carry on. So, he got me like the best thing eva, and then I had the ovaries to ask him to make it snow too. I was dreaming of a white Christmas so God and the scientist did their thing, respectively. Or maybe El Nino or some creepy government weather modification unit or well for fucks sake maybe it was Santa and Napoleon and Tina Turner, I don’t care. Yay! So, this week is going to be super busy, I have tons of stuff to do. I am getting my gun holster polished, my America is awesome tee shirts cleaned, and I am planning to order cheeseburgers and cokes everywhere that I go. Also, I’m gonna tell them damn Euro bastards to speaky de English. Seriously though, cross your fingers cuz I’m leaving here on Wed 22 and I get to Heathrow Thursday around lunch time and I don’t wanna have snowy icy airport hell.
I am also practicing my French like way hardcore- Croyez- vous dans la vie extraterrestrial je peux dormer ma petit saucisse?
I kind of feel bad cuz he got me this and I got him three neckties and some cuff links, but I am going to blow him soooooooo much, that makes up for it right?
Do you know how much weed I am going to smoke? You don’t do you? Absurd amounts, like just until the point that it’s tacky like a white limo. I’m going to see some Van Gogh and some hookers too.
I’m gonna freeze my vagina off though. Can anybody knit me a vag cozy?
One thing that kind of worries me too is, I went to Virginia last week and somehow I came back with very bad insomnia, like I am tired as fuck, I’m communicating with the other side and talking and twitching all Christopher Walken stylee. Dead Zone and Communion Walken, with a little dash of Fatboy Slim techno dancing Walken. I’ve been taking Tylenol pm the past two days but it’s still not better. If I am on the plane all done up with Tylenol pm, Nicorette, insomnia, and Slaughterhouse Five then I may be a danger to society. I get super grouchy bitchy when people are all up in my area and I’m not smoking. The smoking keeps them at arm’s length usually.
Oh shit, there are no Newports in Europe I bet. Lucky strikes or Camel Wides?
Ok, anyway before this becomes a to-do/to find out list I’m going to end it. Happy Merry SuperChristmas, buy stuff for Jesus and Santa loves you. I’ll miss you, and I will catch up with you in the new year.
Songs of the day* I am super obsessed with the band Suicide, it hurts, the awesomeness is piercing. So from Suicide- Cheree omfmfg!!! You have to listen to this four times to know that you want to marry this song and have its babies. Suicide- Ghost rider this is a magical piece, perfect for ass fucking and secret late night terrorism and it makes me want pancakes after. Metal Urbain- Lady Coca Cola because I love being provoked in languages that I don’t understand also there are cool sounds. Also too , Metal Urbain doing Panick, tres rad!
Mood* Space I wanna be sedated.
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38
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I don't know/ Bean hallucinations
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Nov 12, 2010 4:42 am
8513 Views
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Ok the first thing I did wrong was eat beans and weenies. Now let me just say, I know I am a role model but don’t follow my lead people. I have broken two of my own cardinal rules. First, don’t eat meat that comes in tiny cartoon sizes (lil smokies) and my second rule, is don’t eat meat that comes in little tiny cartoon sizes. I didn’t even like beans and weenies as a kid. I mean how fucking half assed mom! Anyway, I’m not preggers ( Thank Ya Jesus Hallelujah, can I get an Amen? Can I have a pony? Praise Gawd), I just went to the vag doctor the other day for a molestation appointment. I didn’t think I was but I need to temporarily delay my period because I am getting a super awesome Christmas present which I will tell you about when it is closer (I don’t wanna jinx it). Anyhow, not pregnant, beans and weenies, came here and saw some suspect and agape genitals and now I want to release my B&W into good old Mr. Tolietface but I don’t want to condone Adult FriendFinder/ tiny meat based bulimia.
I feel gross, how do people eat this shite!? I think I am fucking hallucinating, or else my vaccum cleaner always fucks the wall. Also why do people with ugly genital’s always have 47 pics of random angles/ and insertions performed by or on their mutant fuck spots? Unless, omg, no fucking way their uglies are not as ugly as their ……. Oh God. You know, that is two of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, Beenie Weenies, Ugly Pussy, Locusts, and Bush’s mom fetus in a jar. One more people, one more and we are going to shuffle right off of this mortal coil, or grow big tails and talons or something.
I have to apologize to the Brits who read me. I spend too much time talking to new(ish) dude and he has this semisecret desire to convince me that colour, flavour, and foetus are right and he makes up all of these crazy sayings and then he says then Bob’s your uncle and bless your cotton socks, and various other weird shit. So I have developed a habit of saying his random shit or shite, whatever the case may be.
I can see how this would be annoying (if it wasn’t me doing this and being all motherfucking cuteness and cupcake sprinkles) like for instance, when you take a white guy into a room full of black guys and they suddenly get a case of like survival blackness language syndrome or some weird shit. Annoying. What it do, homeslice? Like they always interject some 1992 Fresh Prince shit in there. Oh, while I am on the topic, ever walk down a dark street towards a black guy lol? I did a couple of times as a social experiment. I scared him way more than he scared me. Anyway this isn’t the same thing, I hope.
Talking about new(ish) dude, God I have to give him a better nick name. If you knew what I actually called him Well anyway he will be here tonight and I am pretty sure he is going to prison fuck me for two weeks straight so if you don’t hear from me it’s because he is beating my vagina like it looked at him funny. I plan on going more in depth about our relationship soon, but then I think well it’s none of your fucking business So now, I’m going to give you some new(ish) guy random info, as one does when one blatantly contradicts oneself.
1)He has blue eyes and funny looking feet. I took my bi annual exstacy pill and his feet looked so big compared to the rest of his body that I fell off of a chair laughing.
2)He speaks fluent German
3)He discovered since being with me that his life- long passion for diving translates into being able to take super humongous bong hits. super enormous bong hits+ non smoker= watching Twin Peaks with your mouth gaping open and me laughing at you and pushing your lip up.
4)He doesn’t know I am here.
5)He freaks me out with all of his feelings.
6)I admire him for always keeping his word.
7)He is always trying to touch my vagina.
 He sucked a shard of glass out of my toe.
9)He hates the new Dr. Who also he thinks that Pebbles and Bam Bam are just fluff characters, we’re working on these issues. It takes time.
10)He calls his balls Bill and Ben the nutsack men, charming isn’t it?
Songs of the Dayyyyyyyyyyyyy- Bernadette by The Four Tops (it’s our song, and the lyrics are fuckmazingly good) dance god damn it, dance and frolic the end is near bitches. Depeche Mode, Useless ( I can’t get my Dave induced girl boner to go down, and it's been longer than 4 hrs) and last but not least The Cramps doing She Said (because that’s what I said).
Mood- Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter SHIT!
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Hungry Tumor
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Oct 31, 2010 6:01 am
8031 Views
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Ok, now I don’t remember the guy or exactly how he phrased it, but the gist was if you can’t hold two contradictory principles simultaneously then you’re kind of a one dimensional dumb fuck paper dolly, just dressing and undressing and laying there all flat and expressionless (which is only hot in small amounts, in the bed). I’m way paraphrasing, but I tend to agree, and not just because I am a bubbling mass, a nova (that will one day be super) of contradictions and randomness and weed. I need to be uncomfortable and not to be all preachy but the rest of you do too. If you lay your bare bones on the table, I mean completely deconstruct yourself, you should be somewhat fucking confounded. I’m wary of delusional people who can’t see the fuck circus of slime and absurdity that we exist in, people who need to adhere to some kind of idk archaic, decaying dinosaur corpse of what they consider to be reason or logic. Logic isn’t the fucking word for it, modicum of normalcy? It’s like a little droplet at the milk bar, or just holding on to a dream for a few minutes after you wake up, begging it to be real. To me it is so strange and Rod Sperling should be narrating this version of truth.
Serious easily offended fuckers because they can’t stretch or move or flutter or bend like the Scarecrow in the Tin man’s body. They give me a goddamned tumor. Like my fucking left eye is twitching and I got a motherfucking tumor. This is LJ’s motherfucking tumor, can I have turkey sandwich please?
That is all, carry on. Happy Halloween, and pillage for candy.
Songs of the day- Nick Cave * I let love in (absolutely fucking perfect Clapton is not God, he’s not even an angel, Nick would slay him with one poke from his big, mighty, deeply poetic cock, this is how you steal the blues whitey, pay attention) Lizzy Mercier Descloux * Hard Boiled Babe (I’m just in a French andro pixie screamy talky artsy mood) and last but not least Sonny Boy Williamson* Your Funeral and my Trial, (because it’s awesomeness in a box).
Mood- Something about Valkyries and dna and then loving the end of Dogville because justice doesn’t need eyes, it needs a machine gun and pip pip and tally ho.
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21
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The Magical Slumber Party in My Head
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Oct 21, 2010 6:28 am
9145 Views
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Who’s invited?
Betty White, Lydia Lunch, Patty Hearst, Frida Kahlo, Joan of Arc, Marylin Monroe, Anais Nin, ok, anyone who fucked Henry Miller, Julia Child, Lucille Ball, Ava Braun, Cleopatra, Wendy O Williams, Bette Davis, Mother Teresa, Nico, Suri Cruise, Leontyne Price, Linda Lovelace, Natasha (from Rocky and Bullwinkle), Gypsy Rose Lee, Boudicca, Clara Bow, crazy chick astronaut in diaper, Eileen Wuornos, Pam Grier, Edie Sedgwick, Pele, all of the my little ponies, Sheri Lewis and Lamb chop, Imelda Marcos, Marie Antoinette, Kate Bush, Liberace, Jane Austen, cat face woman, Jem, Laura Palmer, and Donatella Versace.
Where?
The fourth dimension
When?
All Hallows Eve, when the veil between worlds is thinnest.
Refreshments/party favors.
Sangria, chocolate pudding, and lsd.
Complementary fairy wings, whipits, and plastic tiaras.
Activities/Entertainment
Movie (Fellini’s Satyricon)
(Live Music )Josie and the Pussy Cats
Mani/pedi, vagjazzling, facials, tea leaf reading, kissing practice, pillow fighting, and talking about boys.
AWESOME!
Super Mega Happy Cool Party Time Yay!
Songs of the Day- Ian Dury, Wake Up and Make Love With Me* PJ Harvey, Man size* Violetta Villas Hiroshima Mon Amour, and* Cibo Matto, Sugar Water.
Mood* Tampon Spaceship.
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25
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Waiter, there's a ping pong ball in my soup
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Oct 3, 2010 6:13 am
9429 Views
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Some truths about doing it that your mother never told you and if she did that is a whole other complex set of circumstances.
1)Pervert is a derogatory term created by the man to make Avant guard fuck artists( ping pong ball strippers) and sadists who bake cookies and listen to Brahms seem like the enemy when in reality, a pervert is a person who can expect more from his or her respective cock or vagina (penis penis penis, say penis 27 times exactly and it loses all meaning). A pervert says yes, I could get fucked doggy style and that would be lovely then realizes, I could get fucked doggy style in church with a gag in my mouth while nuns in knee high boots dance and frolic and afterwards we can take ecstasy and set in cake. One step beyond people, one step beyyyyooonnd. Why would you blame a visionary for being a visionary and cast your eyes all rolly in his or her direction? It’s because A) you didn’t think of that first, or  you have no desire to do that and even though bang bang ooh seems empty to you too you’re satisfied. So, you’re the pervert, you’re the guy who gets offered 32 flavors and picks vanilla.
2)Sexual humiliation is fucking hot. It just is. You like that cock in your ass don’t you? You’re a good girl, now pull your nipples then bark like a dog.
3)Some people like oversized or undersized genitals, but it’s mostly men. Women all say they aren’t size queens, except for the size queens, and to an extent this it true, I mean we find other redeeming qualities in our mate, but if on that first night you pull out a big thick one, we are fucking thrilled. Hallelujah. I start to get the spirit, and I dance around on the inside. I want to hold it, and caress it and have it near always for safety. I want to club a baby seal with it. Men for the most part like a tight pussy, it makes them feel all big and awesome and also its tight and squeezy, but some men love big gaping flapping hungry caveginas. I only half get this I understand the appeal in going from tight vag to I fucked you stupid gapey gape gape, temporary gape. I am trying to understand this, but I think maybe permanently big pussies are comforting like an old sweater it gets all stretched out and you love it more.
4)Sex with power (the illusion of power since it is completely imaginary) is awesome. Two people on equal footing are masturbating unless they are in love, then they are just masturbating fervently. But for the most part It’s like a watching a fight with two very polite boxers, after you, no after you, no, after you and eventually they just punch each other at the same time and fall down. There is nothing to surf, no mountain to climb, no quivering mess to be reduced to.
5)Queefing is the vagina trying to say , stop pulling your cock out and I will stop barking like a dog.
6)Old German chicks fisting themselves.
7)Ass to mouth is like reverse engineering dinner, why would you?
Never try to put a popsicle or anything cold near my kitty, this is your one warning.
9)If you can’t feel beyond yes good, if you can’t feel rage, lust, contempt, anguish, bliss, shame, hunger, urge, doubt, the fire of hell and twitching in your pelvis he is just a fuck buddy, a conversation dildo.
10)If you get into the van, I’ll let you pet my puppy. You can trust me
Songs of the Day John Cale omfg it’s all about John Cale for me right now his version of Heartbreak Hotel first. Then his song Hush, and then his song Woman, and then Hanky Panky No How, I am sooooooooo, just ahhhhh. Ok and for one Non John Cale let’s do Snakesweat by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
Mood- Hyperduperbobbleysmushfarblemopper all day long baby.
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I need you deep in my ass
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Aug 31, 2010 5:25 am
9749 Views
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Once you are a silent for a while its hard to speak again, and y'all know me and the whole transitioning thing. It's been a big fucking long time people, a lot has happened. So quickly........
I have been here on my own since April, I'm fine, the xbf is good, we are still best friends. So after the split I wanted to kind of chill and be single so of course now I am seeing someone again. Not an American lol, and an old dude, bonafide. Our relationship is uber kinky and very kind of unorthodox, and we are opposite in a lot of ways. He spoils me and then he fucks me like a whore, it's a lovely dynamic.
School, yes, grumblefuckbanana. Oh and somehow I managed to get a mother fucking A in statistics, Motha Fucka StatistAAAAA, I mean when I look at it I convulse, I feel my brain leaking like an asshole on oleo, so complete fluke, old teacher, like 75, and I carried a rabbits foot, and masturbated L Ron Hubbards ghost for good luck (I barfed a little in my mouth too)
Work, sooooo fucking utterly complicated all two days of it. I think I organized a revolt at the worst possible time, and now I have to follow through on it, I mean it's rude to not show up to the attempted coup you organized, right? I need a day planner.
So me, yea, basically the same. I have soooooooo much to say. I'm all feely and pulsating. Coming here and just spewing off to you people kind of was like my therapeutic enema (take that in the most endearing way possible  I guess what I am saying is I took you, and them and this and that and sprinkle of.... and I shoved it right up my ass, stood on my head and hula hooped and then I released. I don't know when I got so busy that I just couldn't fit you into my ass anymore. I'm sorry. I love you (cutey cute cute pouty face, batty eyelashes). Come back babies, come back.
Oh yea, big brother watching you, robot society, numb numb drones in boxes, global cabal, kill kill smash, in the spirit of summarizing.
Songs of the day-( now with more fiber)* Now I know I randomly love certain songs/artists more than anything in the world but I love this one like a gimp loves a leather mask, like a guy with a crush fetish who came back as a shoe- Violetta Villas, There is no Love without Jealousy, Amazaaaaahhh! Lydia Lunch- No Excuses, for dirty little punk rock bitches everywhere, but then we gotta slow it down, Mr Chet Baker doing IMHO the best version of My Funny Valentine eva, and why don't we wrap up the evening with James Chance and the Contortions- Contort Yourself, Stellar! Commence flailing!
Mood- Clean and moist, green tea.
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