At What Price For Happiness  

lovemetouchme5 51F
1534 posts
4/7/2006 10:30 pm

Last Read:
8/19/2006 5:56 pm

At What Price For Happiness

A couple of weeks ago, my husband told me he's not in love with me anymore. He says he wants to fall in love again, but for right now, he feels emotionally drained. He spends his evenings away from home driving around and at the local park(by himself, so he says) trying to get his emotions back. I find myself resenting him for this. I mean as soon as I get home from work, he's out the door. How is he supposed to "fall back in love with me" if we don't spend any time together????? When I bring this up, all he says is that I can't force someone to fall in love with me.

Tonight we had a fight, and he left. I don't know if it's for good, or just temporarily. The sad part is, I don't know if I want him to come back. I want to be happy, and I just don't know if I can be under these circumstances. I mean, now I don't know if I'm even in love with him anymore either!

Am I crazy to resent him for taking off all the time? Should I just let him have his space, and see what happens? I know the old cliche about letting someone go, but what about my happiness? If we're not in love with each other, what's the point of being together?? I've brought up divorce, but he won't listen to me. His parents divorced and he doesn't what to have to go through what his parents did.

OH I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!


DIVISION77 39M
8328 posts
4/7/2006 11:12 pm

You need to let him have his time to sort out his emotions.

If you crowd him it will only make things worse.

There must be a reason he doesn't love you anymore. Getting to the root of that is what's important if you want to salvage the marriage.

Getting divorced may give you some temporary relief, but it won't solve the underlying problems and it won't make you feel better. It will only prolong the pain and uncertainty.

Give it time and everything will be clearer. That's all you can do. If you try to force the issue, it will only blow up in your face.

Trust me on this.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


hardnhorny20069 49M

4/11/2006 6:57 am

Hey L., I am in almost the same boat as you right now. Yes, we have to give each other space, but he is taking it too far, and being selfish. You have to take care of yourself, so don't forget that. Counseling is a good idea, but doesn't always work, both have to want it to work, and if one doesn't, it won't work, I am in that situation right now. Div. is right about getting to the root of the problem, but that is hard if he isn't there. Shaye is right too, it is bullshit he is treating you this way, him and my wife ought to get together, they could be miserably happy together!lol If you need someone to talk to, get ahold of me, I will be there for you and will try to help as much as I can.
C.


rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
4/16/2006 6:28 am

ShayeDK says it best "He doesn't want a divorce, yet he wants to run off and not be around you every day?" "That's bullshit!"

He doesn't want a divorce because it will be costly and to fool around behind your back will be cheaper.

It's time for you to have some fun too.


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