Their way is boring...part 2  

lostatsea34 46M
5 posts
8/14/2005 6:22 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Their way is boring...part 2

Oh yeah, I said that I would talk about the second wife. It is tomorrow isn't it? Well, it was very passionate there for a while, after we were married, she started having problems with her ex and their kids. Three years, thousands of dollars in court costs and doctor bills, stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, etc took a toll on us both. I supported her 100% through it all, right there by here side, but nothing was quite the same after that. She wasn't very much interested in sex anymore and I wasn't very much interested in trying to talk her into it anymore. It wasn't uncommon to go months without any intimacy. I figured that when she wanted it she would let me know. There was no point in trying to push her. I didn't want her to do it if she wasn't actually interested. It's no fun that way.

We didn't even argue that much. We talked, we agreed on the major things, but we didn't connect anymore. Then she started online romances. Meeting guys on the internet. (I think she still has a profile on here, I don't know) and arranging to go out with them while I stayed home and watched the kids...Her kids. I loved them but they were still her kids damnit.

She would stay out till 3 am swearing to me that they were just friends, and they were sitting talking or walking around wal-mart most of the night. These guys would even come to my house while I was at work and would still be there when I got home. She would swear that there was nothing going on, but I knew her. When she and I met, she was still "happily" married. She left him for me. I was nieve and thought that; yes she cheated on her husband with me, but I was her soulmate, her ONE. Sucker.

She even tried to justify it by telling me that I could go out with other women too, just keep it honest and safe. I tried, but nothing ever developed. It felt too wierd. I wasn't really interested. One night I had enough and I left. I turned off the emotion like a light switch and I haven't looked back. Not even once. This was over 18 months ago.
Sign the fucking papers already damnit!!
Sorry about that, I have been trying to do this the right way for over a year and a half and I am fed up. I am fed up with bending over backwards for women that just want to seem my sprain my back. I am tired of being the "nice guy". The one that takes it and takes it. Well, I have had enough. No more. Ding, fries are done!

People expect you to settle down with a job you hate, have a wife that won't sleep with you, kids that won't talk to you, two car payments, a mortgage, and two and a half dogs or something like that. That is the American Dream. I don't want it. I don't want that much orginization in my life, and I will not have other people thinking for me. I am going to do it the way I want it, because I want it that way.

I am going to Panama, open a bar with a friend of mine when we retire from the military, and if I want to get drunk, I will. If I want to get high, I will. And if no woman wants to spend their life with me because I am a stubborn ass, you know, that's fine too. It is cheaper to rent them for the weekend. There are no misunderstandings, noone takes anything personal, everyone knows what's expected and there are NO suprises. Try getting divorced a couple of times and then break up with a psycho girlfriend and see how far that gets you on your path towards eternal bliss.
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for your I mean for the stars..Yeah, That's it. ha

PS...The above posts were a little bitter, ok, there were very bitter, but I said that I was a cynic. I have good reason to be I think. However, that is the past, and it is necessary to know the past so that you do not repeat it, and it is necessary for those around me to know my past so they can relate to me better, or at least have some clue as to where I am coming from. These thoughts are not something that I dwell on. Tomorrow, I will talk a little more about my philosophies. That is the real reason that I started this blog to begin with.

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