The difference between how men and women talk...  

looking4you2baby 53M
3 posts
3/4/2006 8:35 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The difference between how men and women talk...


What a woman says, what she really means...

* I need = I want
* We need = I want
* It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
* Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
* We need to talk = I need to complain
* Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
* I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
* You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
* You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
* I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
* Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
* I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
* I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
* Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
* How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
* I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
* Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
* Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
* Yes = No
* No = No
* Maybe = No
* I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
* I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
* Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
* Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
* I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

What a man says, what he really means...

* I'm hungry = I'm hungry
* I'm tired = I'm tired
* Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
* Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
* You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
* What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
* You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
* Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
* Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
* I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!

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