Masterbating...  

looking4fun_604 50F
127 posts
11/5/2005 11:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Masterbating...


A man goes to see the optometrist. The doctor tells him, "I need you to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why? It doesn't make you go blind." The doctor replies, "I know, but it's disturbing to the other patients."

Two women and a man are in the back of a bus. The first woman whispers, "The man next to me is masturbating!" Her friend says, "Just ignore him." To which she replies, "I can't! He's using my hand!"

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?" Charlie replies, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well, Charlie, how are you doing?" Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago." "Great," replies the nurse.
The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"

Three old ladies are sitting in the park on a beautiful spring day feeding the pigeons and the squirrels, when suddenly, a man in a long trench coat jumps in front of them and throws open his coat. He's completely naked under his jacket. The three old ladies haven't seen such a thing in a very long time, and their blood pressure shoots up quickly. The first old lady lets out a gasp and has a stroke. The second old lady sees this and it's too much for her – she gasps and has a stroke, too. The third old lady didn't have a stroke – she was sitting too far away and couldn't reach.

There was an elderly couple who wanted to have a child. They went to the doctor, and the doctor told them they were rather old to have a child, but he decided to test the man for a sperm count anyway. He gave them a jar to take home and told the man to produce a sperm sample and bring the bottle back to the office.
Two days later, the couple went back to the doctor's office. The man told the doctor there was a problem. "I tried with my right hand, and then I tried with his left hand, but no results," he said. "Then my wife tried with her right hand and also her left hand, and she even used her mouth – with her teeth in and her teeth out – but we still couldn't get the lid off the jar."

rm_prapaddy 43M
26 posts
11/6/2005 3:43 am

Nice ones. Looke like you are obsessed with master.....


MytheRailleuse 37F
16 posts
11/6/2005 7:19 am

Hi, so you like masturbating. So do I, but then I like to look at men or a man doing an erotic show for me. If they then masturbate as well makes it even better! So, guys lets masturbate in public for our female voyeur's pleasure! It would only be fair...


looking4fun_604 50F
67 posts
11/6/2005 8:30 am

~~prapaddy~~ I think I have penis envy. I am fascinated by male masterbation.


rm_kokopt2 38M
3 posts
11/6/2005 5:22 pm

That's great, i like those jokes! Especially the one about Chicago. Very nice.


mygmyg 59M

11/7/2005 4:36 pm

could use a hand down here!


AlbertPrince 57M

11/8/2005 11:44 pm

LOL

Just so you know, a Whispa is a chocolate bar in th UK, Careless Whisper was a George Michael song and we all know G M likes things up his ass!!


dasher121 36M

11/9/2005 9:38 am

hahaah great post, very funny.


looking4fun_604 50F
67 posts
11/9/2005 1:57 pm

~~my sweet Prince~~ Thanks for the info. I remember the song well, but had no clue what a Whispa was.


looking4fun_604 50F
67 posts
11/9/2005 1:59 pm

~~dasher~~ I was starting to get worried about you! No posts for awhile and I missed you. Good to see you came over to my place & spent some time here!


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