marrage and sex  

longshotatfun 55M/47F
4 posts
10/22/2005 8:40 pm

Last Read:
7/15/2006 3:45 pm

marrage and sex

when we got married hubby was told say good bye to sex that in time he would be lucky if he got once a month well that hasnt happended yet. we would like to know if this realy happens or if the person was just joking. please respond to this. we are just wondering.

spammedcan 51M
3 posts
10/22/2005 10:52 pm

Oh it definitely happens. I've known my wife now since we were teenagers, we were married in our 20s....we are in our early 40s. We used to make love at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. We used to be so into it, so wild, we've twisted ankles/shoulders and even broke a bone once in the middle of it!! I've always wanted it at least once a day, but that just wasn't going to happen for more than 3 days in a row. Anyway, after a couple of kids, wife simply lost interest altogether. She's had some therapy, I've volunteered to go myself if it will help, but no luck. I've had enough partners in the past to know what I'm doing is good, she even says that it's good, she just has no interest. On the rare occasion that she allows something to happen, it is mechanical and "make it quick, I don't feel like doing this" sex. Even physical contact at all seems like labor to her. Anyway, it happens and when it does it sucks - and not in a good way either!
I've tried renewing the romance, tried making her feel like she did when we were teenagers and luck. I hope this doesn't happen to you or anyone else because there are all sorts of problems that arise. Men get very irritable after a while of sex being withheld. Then it is that much more difficult to be compliant and civil the one doing the begins a degenerative spiral that leads to grumpiness and anger and puts a severe strain on a relationship. a dear friend of mine, who happens to be a psychologist once said "Keep fucking and fuck for fun!!"

jayells 48M
2 posts
1/5/2006 2:41 pm

My situation is very similar to spammedcan's. Started dating in high school. Got married right after we graduated, and the sex was great: At least once a day for the first year or so.

Then things started to slow down, and nothing I did seemed to help. (Out of the two of us, I'm the romantic one--she has no use for cuddling and flowers. So suggestions to improve that aren't going to help.) Now we're down to once a month, and it's always a "quickie."

The sex is still great (for both of us, as far as I can tell. She seems to enjoy herself a lot when we do fuck--she's even said "what's wrong with me? Why do I always turn THIS down???") But there just isn't enough of it anymore.

A couple of years ago I got so frustrated that I tried AdultFriendFinder and hooked up with a lady I met here. We only met three times because I ended up feeling so damn guilty about it. The sex was great, though, and I know that sooner or later I'll upgrade and write up a decent profile instead of the blank I have now in order to do it again.

That isn't a perfect solution by any means, but it gets a person by.

So I guess the moral of the story is to not neglect one another or take each other for granted.

jayells 48M
2 posts
1/5/2006 2:44 pm

By the way, the winking smiley is an accident due to putting parenthesis after the end of my quote. (Just in case you were wondering what the heck it was supposed to mean.)

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