Why am I always wrong?  

longergirthy4u 52M
34 posts
1/14/2006 4:46 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why am I always wrong?

As I sit here at the puter on a early Saturday morning,after sitting home all night on a Friday night, I am beginning to realize that for some strange reason, I am always the person who is wrong! I was talking to a friend earlier Friday night when she had a phone call interrupt our time chatting. After the call she came back and said that she had to go to the grocery store and that she was going to leave the kids with the babysitter there at her place, that she would be right back,and would call me as soon as she returned. 4 hours later she hasn't called, so I called her to see if every thing's okay. Neither she nor the babysitter answer the phone at her place. Strange. So I try her cell, and she answers. She is at the bar with a "friend". I ask her if she's okay,and she says yes. Where are you I then ask. I'm at the L.A. I ask her why are you there? She says, because a "friend called me and asked me if I wanted to go out for a little while". I then asked her when this friend had called her, her response was awhile ago. I said didn't you think to call me or tell me that you weren't going to be back til late, to not wait up for you, or at least let me know something so I wouldn't be worrying that something may have happened to you? "No, I just needed to get away from the kids for a little while,they were getting on my nerves". Okay I said well then why didn't you tell me that you were going out? "I didn't think I was, till my friend called me". Well why didn't you let me know where you were going? "I didn't know I was going to be going there". I have sat at the house every weekend since we have met so I could spend the time with you, yet every week you find a reason to go somewhere and it usually ends up half the night or all night, with you not calling me nor answering my calls,when I finally decide that something isn't right! You always have a reason,or an excuse, and say that you are sorry. I am one of those people who do not trust anyone 100%, until they have proved themselves 100% trustworthy. Call me wrong if you want too, but I have been burnt by every woman I have been with for the last 16 years. When I say every, I mean every single one of them! They have all lied to me, cheated on me, took off with someone else, and every time they always say,"it's your fault I cheated on you". WTF?? How is it my fault that you lied/cheated on me? "Well I knew that one day you would give in to some woman hitting on you , and then you would cheat on me". Sooo you decided to pre-empt my cheating by cheating on me first? "Yes" WTF?? They always say "if you don't trust me 100% then why are you with me"? I try to explain the theory behind building a solid relationship by being open and honest with each other. That after time the trust gets stronger and stronger as well as the feelings. For some f***ed up reason I am always wrong! According to their way of thinking, I am supposed to trust and believe in them 100% from the instant that we meet! What really gets me though, even after being told that my way of thinking, the same thought processes that they have never had a problem with before, is wrong. So why all of a sudden am I wrong? If my way of thinking is so wrong, why are you all of a just now noticing this? Why didn't you ever say something to me before? Before you accidentally, or intentionally screwed around on me, and lied to me repeatedly in the process? Why am I always wrong for believing that a person has to earn trust? Am I the only one who thinks this way? Every female I have as a friend says that my way of thinking is right! Every male friend that I have have said the same thing! To give someone all of my trust and possibly my love without even considering the fact that what I know of them at that stage is relatively little? That what i know of them is only what they have told me, or I have seen. Call me wrong for thinking this way then ladies ! This is me, accept me for who I am, and how I am, and how I think,and earn my trust,or leave! Do not demand nor assume that it is going to be coming forthwith as a natural part of my being with you. I give what I can, just as you can only give what you are able to give. If you felt that you could trust me 100% then why did you cheat/lie to me, and then turn around and say it's all my fault? Could it be that you never trusted me as you said you did? After hearing those words from several different mouths( you would have cheated on me ) I can only assume that they never trusted me in earnest at all. The proof is always in the actions, not in the words. So was I really always wrong? Am I mistaken to think and believe that it wasn't really my fault? How does one justify or quantify lying or cheating as someone else's fault? Did the other person make them get undressed and lie down with whomever? Did the other person tell them to go find someone else behind my back and don't tell me about it? In all the years I have been dating,seeing someone, or in a long term relationship, only one person has ever not talked to, been with, snuck around behind my back, been unfaithful, with another man. She would have died before ever even considering cheating or lying to me or anyone she was seeing. The most recent one thought that because I was always at work 7 days a week and gone from the house that I bought for us that I was probably off doing someone, and she even came by the job sites on several occasions checking up on me. Every time she did that, I was right where I was supposed to be. Guess what? She is the same woman who has testimonials on af f going back almost a year before we split up! But as she put it,I was wrong! I am not perfect by no means. I have never said I was nor have I ever thought I was. Yes I have cheated on someone in my life. Only one time with one woman, and the repercussions from that single time have haunted both her and me to this day. She no longer trusts any man, and I am untrustworthy to all women that I come into contact with! Dayuuum Karma be kicking my ass! But, this too will pass. Why am I always wrong? Is it because I don't trust anyone completely anymore? Maybe so, but why is it always my fault? I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just give up on ever believing in anyone again. Seeing as no one believes in me, except me. Maybe I should just keep seeing myself and not bother with the other sex at all. That way ,at least part of the time I can be right. And I will never have a headache and not be in the mood. I never lie to myself, so I know that I can trust myself 100%. I won't ever catch myself cheating behind my back. I like me the way that I am. I enjoy spending time with myself. The pluses go on and on. So why am I always wrong? PS, I'm not saying that all women are cheaters or liars. There are a lot of good women out there. But unfortunately it seems they are all taken! BC


rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
1/14/2006 7:51 am

You are not always wrong and dont let someone do that to you. Just state your opinnion in a different way.

Good Luck,

Purry {=}

Purry


longergirthy4u 52M
71 posts
1/18/2006 2:41 am

I don't listen to people who are cheaters and liars. Their actions have already taught me that they are wrong and that I did the right thing. It's impossible for me to believe anything someone says once they have proven themselves as a liar and a cheat. Thanks for the words Kitty.


Become a member to create a blog