CONT. THE BLAME GAME,,,,  

lonesomefornow2 65F
102 posts
7/27/2006 10:32 am

Last Read:
7/29/2006 8:12 am

CONT. THE BLAME GAME,,,,


if something isn't working in my life ,,,,the first place i look,,,is inside...that may seem very self centered and selfish,,it is....but since this is a re-occuring issue in my life not just in marriage relationships it is something i have adjusted to...to deal with loss: of status , family bonds, home,security in any form not of my own establishing it...nothing was certain in my life but change and that even now is the key to my choices...it is not others that are the 'problem ',,so how could i cast blame or guilt or doom sentence of failure at making it,,with me as the contributing factor???? is there blame when one person is disatisfied and the other one is not??? i don't see the cause for complaint,,it is not some flashing neon sign"""this is why and this and that is why ,,,, you can't stay and live like this""" but yet,,even though nothing jumps up as the REASON TO QUIT,,, it has been silently building up it's resistance to hear any answers from the void now...some would stone me for giving up a love like i have been given in my husband's heart,,,,some would be convinced it must be some failure of his or i would not go ,,even some would think it folly altogether,,,i can not give any answer other than i have,,if there is a flaw,,i have or made it,,it is only my task to keep from repeating it...first it must be identified....i give things a fair time to work out,,but if it isn't then it is time for diagnostics....if the problem is me then solution is half the resolution...does one have to be the asshole to end a situation that only works now for one not both??? many can not imagine a man that would love me this much to let me go....a man that understands it is not him i am running from,,but i am running to a dream....and can set me free ,,in spite of his loss....

buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
7/27/2006 12:05 pm

You're on to something here. I have had occasion to be in a similar situation where a woman met all of my needs, but I didn't meet all of hers. When she found someone who fulfilled her needs better, she left me and as far as I'm concerned it was the best thing she could do. All I want is for her to be as happy as possible, and if that's with someone other than me, so be it!!! I'll be fine, was my attitude about the whole thing. If not, as you suggest, I look at me not at someone else. I am responsible for my happines, not someone else! And accepting responsibility for my own happiness has resulted in me being a very ahppy man.


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