lonesomefornow2 65F
102 posts
7/29/2006 2:07 pm

or you can get caught in the crosshairs of the "new wife" which is a real education in the facts of life called re-modification....having gone from a free-thinking environment of my mother's artistic background and lifestyle to the rigid envionment of being conformed to being invisible and silent,,non-entity....non-acceptable even on my best day and behavior.. what a trip that was,,,until i broke free...kept going,, never looked back,,until recently,,with finally questions ,,i waited tooo long to ask...regrets,,, not that i didn't ask sooner but rather why should it matter now,,,perhaps the only answer i find logical,,is that it matters to me to leave some honorable legacy of my having lived at all,,since there has been no provision to validate my birth or status or value.......beyond what i can physically do for myself....i have searched my life and i do not see that there is a cause for it's unfolding as it has,,it just simply is what turned up on this deal,, we call it life...i buried my head in the sand of marriage,,not expecting it to be an issue this late in life,,but being wife isn't the pinnacle of ultimate careers...not at the cost of all the other stuff i missed out on too...sorry the price is too high...something's gotta fault to pass around,, no blame to lay at anyone's doorstep,,,i gotta have peace within,,,i can never accept surrender......never accept defeat...i will not break off anymore limbs to accommodate traditions,,,i'm ripping that puppy up and cutting it up into kindling and setting it on fire....roasting every soul over it's coals,,bonfire of glories...toasting their good deeds before men....when the ashes are cold,,,the wind will carry them away,,i will have been in good company,,,the fire will cleanse my name......only i will remain....

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