Erectile Dysnfunction  

lizalickem4u 58F
1836 posts
8/27/2006 11:35 am

Last Read:
9/3/2006 5:18 am

Erectile Dysnfunction

Very disturbing topic for most men...very disturbing topic for us women as well!!!

Recently I've been conducting an experiment in what I refer to as "vanilla" dating. I even joined one of those "vanilla," somewhat benign sites that touts it will find your true match, your true love...okay, so the true match, true love part is definitely NOT me...but I'm curious as to how receptive the average "vanilla" guy is to a woman that is willing to venture forth a bit farther than the other gals that are seeking that "one and only" and saving themselves for that "one and only"...i.e.will not have sex until they have a ring on their finger and maybe even not until they have the vows recited...

Now that I've laid a little bit of groundwork for's my dilemma with erectile dysfunction...I've had some good luck at finding what I deem to be "suitable" dates...moved right from a couple of email exchanges to meeting in person over drinks/dinner and then into a more intimate setting...I enjoy the flirt, the tease...I enjoy a man seducing me in his emails, our conversations...but talking the talk and not being able to walk the walk...well, what in the Hell is up with that?????

I'm a skilled lover...I don't profess to know all there is to know in the art of seduction but I do pride myself in being versitile and working with what I have before me...I don't give up easily and I do realize that first time sexual encounters can be quite intimidating...but why would a man lead a woman on that he really could "fuck" with a hard cock????

Yes, I'm very much aware of medical conditions/medications that directly effect a man's ability to attain a penile erection much less maintain that erection long enough to penetrate the hot, wet pussy...but come on, why not be honest and upfront? Are men really that afraid of rejection? Are they that afraid that a woman won't understand and think of him as a criple or less of a man? To me it is a great disservice to the woman to not "inform" her of his "situation" so that she can better prepare herself to be more able to adapt to his situation...

I'm of the age where men and their medical conditions as well as the medications they are taking will definitely effect/affect their ability to perform...I have read the how's and why's of these conditions as well as the information available regarding medications and the use of medications to help offset penile dysfunction and I consider myself a more than open-minded woman in that I don't have a problem getting together with a man if I know what I will be up against so to other words I can do my homework and figure out several stratedgies for helping my partner have a great time when we're indulging in sex.

My other issue with a man that does not reveal his inability issue is that he hasn't honed his skills in his oral and manual techiniques...while I usually look at a man that professes his prowess in oral skills and abilities as perhaps his inability to get and maintain an erection, I'm beginning to see incredible need for a man to be above average in these skills and abilities simply due to his ability to bring it all to the ultimate other words, if you're not able to fuck me with your cock then you better damned be able to fuck me with your mouth and hands...

Another dilemma that has been presenting itself quite a bit lately, both in the experienced and vanilla dating scenes is the simple fact that if you're going to eat and play with my pussy then you better damned well LISTEN to me...I'm very clear and verbal about what I like, how I like your licks, how you manipulate my pussy with your fingers...I've learned to communicate my likes and dislikes in order to achieve the best, ultimate culmination of my building orgasm.

I have found that a man that may not be able to get or maintain an erection can be just as useful and skillful of a lover if he's willing to please and pleasure me in other ways...I'm open to that, I understand that there are other ways to draw my pleasure, my orgasm...but I am learning that there are tons of men out there that just don't get it...they just don't understand that limp humping, blaming a woman for the situation of limpness just isn't going to cut it...

In other words, accept what is going on with you, beef up your other sexual skillls, communicate your ability or inability and see if the woman is much more receptive and more willing to work with you to achieve the ultiamte pleasure that you're both seeking...I know I would much rather be with a man that has been honest with me about his inability to get an erection and wants to know how to pleasure and please me orally and manually...he draws his pleasure from being able to pleasure me in other ways...

The biggest turn-off I've encountered is a man that could talk the talk but when we got naked and I performed all the wonderful, delightful talents that I have on his cock, it never got hard...semi-hard every now and then but he NEVER got hard and could never penetrate me...his response/answer to this situation was that I needed a man with a larger cock!!! He tried to push the situation off on me...Bad move...VERY bad move...

The guy might as well have said that my pussy was too tight, too ugly, that I was too other words to me not accepting responsibility and being honest with me that he has a medical condition that definitely affects his erectile abilities was like slapping me in the face...I could have done my homework, researched the hell out of ways I could have helped him...but without that simple little "warning" I was caught totally unaware and by surprise!!!

Needless to say I won't be contacting that guy again...we had a great time until we got naked and I worked and worked on his cock to get him hard, but nothing...BTW how do you put a condom on a limp dick????? You can but oh my goodness, what is the point?

So, what is the point of this post??? Come on guys, if you've got a problem, don't string a gal along...communicate with her, let her be the judge of whether or not she wants to get naked and try to have sex with might be surprised, she might be more willing to figure out how to work with you than you give her credit.

louandal2 65M/61F

8/27/2006 12:47 pm

I agree - honestly will get you much further than bullshit. But seriously, doesn't the ED stuff sound like just another new disease that's been manufactured to sell the cure? From what little I've seen, it's mainly a byproduct of either drinking too much for too long or else a side-effect of too many prescription drugs...

topaz653 51F

8/27/2006 6:12 pm

thank you for your post this is my question. It really makes a woman doubt herself. This man is very skilled otherwise.

lizalickem4u 58F

8/27/2006 7:18 pm

Yes, it really does make a woman doubt herself, her abilities to inspire her partner...thank you for being skilled in other areas, technques...a semi-erect cock does not have to be the "show stopper" but merely a slight problem if there are others ways to pleasure and please your partner...that's what I was hoping, that's what I was wanting...unfortunately with this particular partner he was either clueless to his erection problem or in complete denial that HE was the one with the problem...from his response I feel he was in a bit of denial in that he immediately started making comments about my pussy...but yes, it does make a woman doubt herself.

greatguyintul 55M
2102 posts
8/27/2006 8:28 pm

Question: When women are out in public (dinner, movie, get together or whatever) do women take it as a compliment if their man has an erection in their pants? Or do women look at it like their man is just horny as hell?

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lizalickem4u 58F

8/27/2006 9:12 pm


My answer is both...I take it as a compliment if you have an erection when we're out to dinner, movies, club...and I already know you're horny as hell most of the time so that really is a given, at least for you!!! But my response to your questions is both.

topaz653 51F

8/27/2006 9:51 pm

what I should have said is I am in the same situation. With a man who admits and is aware of this situation he luckily is skilled in other areas. For me however not having dated in almost 10 years it really has been difficult for me to deal with.

lizalickem4u 58F

8/28/2006 4:49 am


I understand where you're coming from in that it does make it difficult to understand...I know I take it personally, even though I shouldn't when I can't excite a man enough for him to get hard...after all, isn't that the tell tale sign that they are sexually aroused by us? I don't take it so personally when I've hooked up with a casual guy for a casual fuck but then with a friend that I've had repeated encounters, I would like some sort of result for my efforts...I think, too, I question the essence of getting that what I have to look forward to as we age...ways to adapt, to adjust, I realize that is what life is all about...but I don't understand why such concessions have to be is discouraging to say the least and I am beginning to understand why some gals just give up completely and resolve themselves to an almost non-existent sex life...I don't want to give up, I'm not one that gives up...

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