posts 8/3/2006 9:39 pm
12/12/2006 4:30 am
Catharsis #3 part 1
|<<<< Mom's favorite flowers were roses...she had them wherever we lived :D|
MOM...SHE GOT IT TOO
Mom got it too. As I said before, on that side of the family everyone died from either cirrhosis or The BIG C.
Mom found a lump on her side one day. She went to the doctor and they decided more than a doctor's visit was needed. Turned out they had to operate (that's when us kids found out about the lump). It was cancer, they (the doctors) thought, but they couldn't be sure until they'd excised the lump and tested it.
I didn't cringe when I heard the word cancer then...I was still too young...and didn't know much. We knew Papa had it the year before, but we didn't really know know. We didn't get to see or live with someone that had it. I had just turned 10.
Mom went into the hospital one day...and was home the next. Nurse in training that I was (yep, at that point I was going to be one when I grew up...figured I needed to start right then and there LOL ), I went ahead and helped mom irrigate her wound and applied the new dressings. We all helped her out. It was important.
Turned out mom had skin cancer. Since skin is the largest system on the body...that's not a good thing. Sure the doctor's thought they got it all when they took the chunk from her side...but they had to keep checking. Mom kept going into her doc every once and a bit.
She was still crazy as hell at times and would revert to the evil mom-thing. During her healing time, we had a reprieve...but it didn't last long...nothing too good to be true ever does LOL.
So mom was going to the doc and they were doing blood tests consistently. About 4 years after her first cancer surgery and a year after mom had moved out, those brilliant doctors FINALLY (please read that with extreme sarcasm because they were anything but brilliant to my mind) figured out there was a problem with mom's thyroid. They tested constantly for a short while...then finally decided that medication wasn't helping and mom's thyroid needed to be removed.
After the thyroid was removed, my mommy was back. The woman I knew as a child was there...and she wanted to be the mommy again. Unfortunately, none of us kids was in that place. None of us wanted her near us and saw her only on special occasions. But she kept on. She kept trying to reach out.
Slowly but surely, she got me to talk to her about what she had done to me. Over and over I'd yell, scream, cry, and ask why....and over and over again, she'd cry like I was breaking her heart and apologize yet again for whatever was brought up. May sound strange for anyone who hasn't gone through that...but it's therapy. Didn't know it at the time and we were doing it cause it just came natural-like BUT it was working.
Over 4 years this went on...and we healed so much in that time. Mom actually tried moving back in with dad for a while when I was 18 but due to an unforeseen butthead incident (will talk about that when I talk about my bro) it never worked. Mom and Dad would never be together again...and they divorced.
Mom kept going back to the doctors for the cancer. They'd check her all over...from top to bottom and then remove those lumps that were found. Some check-up's she'd come home with up to 10 or so different places that small growths had been removed. Her arms started looking like railroad tracks with all those stitches scars she had. We called them her worm tracks. I don't know why...but it was hilarious at the time and made her smile and laugh.
Skin cancer doesn't just stay on the skin. It can go anywhere and everywhere. To your vital organs... and just anywhere. It's insiduous and it's mean. It just doesn't stop. Mom ended up having parts of her breasts removed (we found that out only cause it was in her medical records and we were allowed to look at them later on).
Then one day it happened. Something none of us wanted to hear. They finally found the big one. Mom was having problems remembering things and was acting odd. They did tests (more advanced after those 12 years since she had her first surgery...they had it pegged right off). Mom had brain cancer. This one was gonna be a bitch. I guess technically you'd say mom had skin cancer that had spread to her brain.
I was 23 at the time...had just turned 23 in fact. I had moved 2 states (14 hours one-way for the drive home) away 3 years before this but still visited constantly. Mom and I were very close now. As close as any mother and daughter ever were or could be. The past was behind us and she was looking forward to grandkids from me one day. We talked every other day on the phone. She was my friend.
to be continued in Catharsis #3 part 2
posts12/2/2006 12:59 pm
I have presented you with the golden egg... written by bustybettyboop. It's now your turn to spread some cheer to 5 others. |