I have the worst luck with men  

leeleebethkidman 33F
10 posts
11/14/2005 11:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I have the worst luck with men

I was wondering if you can actually find a decent guy these days that wants to be in a relationship for companionship, substance and other things rather than in it just for the sex. So many men have proved to me there is no more romantics left out there and that is very depressing for me

dave2me 46
5 posts
11/14/2005 11:34 pm

Are you new to AdultFriendFinder then cause ive seen a few about and ive only been here a week.
Keep looking
You never know he might be someone you lest expect
most of all enjoy life
live it to the max

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
11/15/2005 12:32 am

Ditch the 'romance' tag. It's the skeleton-key that any man can use to get to your vulnerable, irrational self and IMHO actually has little to do with whether a relationship is viable.

Romance only exists in your head (along with what most women think is 'love') and is a very flimsy nice-to-have, when real life sets in to any relationship.

Try getting to know a guy as himself, rather than your prospective handy-man, piggy-bank, body-guard, lover or knight in shining armour etc etc etc. One day, he may not be able to cover all the bases you have set out for him... (usually ending-up in infidelity or divorce.)

Try listing exactly what you mean with the words 'substance', 'companionship', 'decent' and 'other things'. Write it all down on a tick-list and use them to benchmark the guys you meet. See how many criteria you can get in the same guy during the first, say, 10 years of knowing him...

What I'm saying is - I believe you (along with most of your gender) are expecting too much from mortal man and are so desperate to be mislead by this fantasy of 'romance' that you will get burned by players and think it is men's fault generally for not being 'decent'.

The majority of women are as obsessively focussed on fulfilling their own self-interests as any man. Getting down to basics, what's so wrong with a guy 'just' wanting a child-carer, counsellor and whore in his life? All his other needs can be fulfilled by himself and other men. Women really only need a man to make her feel safe, provided for and (tricky one here) 'emotionally validated'. All down-to-earth, nuts&bolts stuff.

Cut the crap, deal with reality and work with what there is. It's hard enough getting the basics from a person, without adding the je-ne-sais-quoi you call 'romance'.

BTW, I think I am a 'decent guy, but if a woman I meet gives me any impression she has the stars in her eyes that you seem to have, I'd send her back to the bench until she started thinking clearly. No offence... :=>

leeleebethkidman 33F

11/15/2005 10:11 am

That you very much for your reply and honesty. I respect that in a person. Have you been hurt by someone in your past or do you really have this type of outlook on love and life!?! I have had (what I percieve to be) a true love in my life so I know it exists.

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
11/15/2005 1:27 pm

In the past, I have felt love so deeply it was literally what classic novels were made of. Lets go watch 'The Bridges of Madison County' or the Laurance Olivier version of 'Wuthering Heights' together sometime. My tears will bear witness to the emotional highs and lows I have experienced. I know love exists and the deepest kind does things to your soul that the word 'hurt' can't begin to describe.

You just made me see my current attitude in a different way...

Maybe, as a result of my good & bad experiences I am even more demanding than a woman, with regard to romance? Hmmm...

I responded to a magazine-posting in the German version of AdultFriendFinder about this 'one true-love and never again' question, months ago. May answer got only agreement. We came to the conclusion that generally, if you are not (too) neurotic, there really is only one absolute, look-back-in-soft-tones true-love in each person's life.

I need to go and think about this. I'll be back...

leeleebethkidman 33F

11/15/2005 9:29 pm

I could tell that you have experienced a true love with how you responded to me. I know the highs and lows you speak of, they can make a person feel like you just did e or like you are insane. I agree that true love does things to your soul that no words can describe in any way. I believe that a person who has experienced a true love at one time is ruined for anyone else and does expect too much from others from the get go. I guess anyone I try to create a relationship with is fucked from the beginning unless it is just meant to be. Or who I believed was my soul mate really wasn't and the person I meet might happen to be. Hmm... Too many things to ponder. You never know, you just might be more demanding than a woman.

bakwoodsthug 52M

11/18/2005 8:22 pm

My ideal love would be from the moment eyes meet, a touch or even a smile you know whether its a soul connection or just a sexual thing. We have all been hurt on any level, it all boils down to what we want out of a relationship that we put back into it. If its meant to be then it shouldnt be work it should be fun and everyday should be a new one full of hope and surpises..

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
11/23/2005 12:28 am

Hey LLBK! You've gone quiet...

I hope you are pleasantly busy.

B x

leeleebethkidman 33F

11/23/2005 10:14 pm

I have recently found out my ex took $560.00 from me and I did not relize it until it was too late and I have been trying to sort everything out lately. I have also been very stressed because I am moving...I will be back on to my normal self soon...I am trying to move all my stuff alone before the first and it is not working too well....but I will survive and I always seem to figure things out without too many complaints....Thanks for your concern sweetheart. I hope all is going well with you and your daughter(s)...it sounds like you have your hands full. That is good, they sound very sweet. They should be with a loving father like yourself.
xoxo's Take care hun
<3 Lisa

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
11/25/2005 11:49 pm

The whole splitting-up from a long-term relationship thing can be an eye-opener. Many woman I have know, going through it just would not believe me whe I warned them that all the years together will not stop their exes behaving like petty street-gangsters. Ex know where you are vulnerable and when it's 'personal' they can get that knife in DEEP and twist it just perfectly...

Don't sit in anguish about the unfairness and don't believe that your own civilised handlng of the ex will make them change.

You'll come out the other side of this OK, knowing that your ability to survive and be self-reliant is huge.

Good Luck

B x

Become a member to create a blog