There's more to it than just posting a pictue  

lazyboy1964 52M
9 posts
1/17/2006 7:26 am

Last Read:
4/1/2006 4:38 am

There's more to it than just posting a pictue

I winked at someone, and they in in turn showed interest in me. When I responded with an e-mail I included a request for a photo. They responded by directing me to a website. Now normally, I would think that directing me to a website was a bad sign. A pay site with pictures of porn stars and who knows what? I guess I'm eventually going to have to subscribe to one because it's unfair of me to describe something I have not experienced for myself,....but I don't have a good feel for them to begin with. Not to mention I automatically dismiss the person as not being real. Maybe that's wrong of me, but maybe someone'll have a different take? Anyway, I knew this was different because the website was for a link to their job.

So having said that, my thoughts turned to what its like for women and men (even like myself and others) that run the risk of being seen on a site like this. For that matter, any dating site. Let me go back and say "a site like this" really refers to what I hope everyone would agree is a more alternative way to date...or just find sex (as I hope to do both). It's a fringe subculture of the mainstream. (maybe another point to debate at another time).

The thought is the conscious decision a person makes to post their face or whatever on the web for the whole world to see? Some must think nothing about it, cheers to those exhibitionists that so drive my clicks to surf endlessly into the day and night. (Many of these have to be real). Others must be scared, ever see those that show themselves in glasses, heads down, or with their backs turned, in the shadows etc. And then there are those that want to participate in anonymity.

We all know that marketing is the key to everything. Whether we're conscious of it or not, or how much we tell ourselves I'm just being myself. The mere acknowledgment of being something puts us into some sort of marketing demographic. The point is, in order to hook up we gotta sell ourselves. The description is our tag line, our attempt to draw someone in hopes they find us interesting enought to hook up with. But even before we look at the tag line and profile...we look at the picture! I'm not going to attempt to think about the whole , that what in a picture draws us in thing, perceived beauty, or even how we choose what picture to put up. (although if someone else wants to rant go on brother)

What motivates someone to take that risk? Is there a risk? What I do as an individual outside work has nothing to do with the job I do!!! What am I afraid of being judged? She is, and I guess I understand. For that matter, I took my photo down too. Hypocrite? don't know. Funny, I gotta go off to work and will leave it to the world to weigh in. maybe when I get back, I'll be persuaded to put it back up?

Any way, I have something to think about today.

rm_Hotmama7695 41F
2 posts
1/17/2006 9:41 am

Is a picture really worth a thousand words? I don't think so. I have been on this site for over 6 months,and have met and chatted with several people, and some I have shared pictures with, and some I haven't. One man in particular has rapidly become a very, very good friend of mine. We have been chatting and talking on the phone since mid Oct. and he just asked for a pic last week. I don't feel that it has or would make any difference to him, so long as I am clean and take good care of myself. (That is a condition for me!)

I agree that a pic presents preconcieved notions about a person and it is a major reason that we have so many unhappy married people in the world....the relationship began with appearances, not with the quality of the person within. Once I have spent some time really getting to know a person, and if they are beautiful within, that is all I see in them.... inside and out.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a beautiful, confident woman and I don't hide myself per sae....but I would rather spend time with someone who is more interested on the inside content than the outside appearance, and if the wrapper is that important to them...they must not be for me! Good luck!

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