I say it...but do i really mean it?  

lady_on_fire 45F
498 posts
8/5/2005 9:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I say it...but do i really mean it?

Ok here goes nothing. This site is for really one thing. SEX....I have done that, and im still enjoying that. And i set myself aside emotionally when i do. But just recently, two people that i see.....became romantically interested in someone else. Someone they met outside of here. I know, i know...this is not the love connection. But i can't help but wonder, what was it about me that was left unnoticed? I mean, ok...yes..i love sex..but with the right person, im willing to be fully committed to them only. I just am not out looking for it.

But then these two men, of whom were also not looking, tell me they might have found someone great. Im a friend to both, i take it with ease. But it still stings a little. I mean, here i am, i think im an attractive BBW, and they overlook me like im crap. The feelings arent' there, but not when we met to just have sex. Im just getting this feeling that im good enough to have sex with and enjoy that aspect with. But when it comes to anything more, im not any good.

I know, seems like im feeling sorry for myself. But im really not, im just wondering what im doing.

Thing is i really like both of these men, not in a romantic way. But as very good friends. Honestly , i don't think we could have had a romantic thing even if we tried. One of them has become a really good friend and i guess maybe i don't want to lose that either. WE kind of connected on that level and we talk about everything. And i am genuinely happy for them. I just am maybe a little jealous i guess.

I don't know people. IM sure im just being a whiny woman. But i think im tired of being alone at night too. I want someone that wants to explore my mind as well as sex. I know im not going to find him on here. That would never happen. So for now, im just going to keep myself happy and take it one day at a time.

Im sure i scared alot of you off by this blog. But hey, its life. Reality is setting in for me and my mind is becoming more clear everyday.

rm_venture12002 62M
67 posts
8/5/2005 11:21 pm

First I think most singles on here would like to meet someone great.As for the not connecting you say yourself it just isn't there.A guy can tell if a woman wants more.I'm 50 and it's got downright rare for me to meet a woman who I want to be with for more than sex, but hey if she comes along I hope I notice and not let her slide right by.Good luck.

magichands6958 58F
4 posts
8/5/2005 11:24 pm

Hey I know where you are coming from at least that was up until about a month ago I met someone on here and we both know there will be nothing more than sex and friendship (I dont want anything perment yet) but this guy has helped with my ego and low self esteem by telling me how sexy I am and how much he enjoys me. That has helped me trememedously. magichands6958

phatgj 48M

8/6/2005 3:47 pm

Close your eyes and open your ears,no need to look for love, love will find you... when you least expect it. GJ try me

one2beornot2be 38M
8 posts
8/6/2005 7:08 pm

Geesh... This is a tough one. You didn't scare me off however. The connection is rare I have to agree with venture on that one and I am only half his age. Emotional envolvement has alot to do with it I think. You know. That point where you don't know whos stuff is whos anymore. Doing stuff all the time. Not connected at the hip but always holding hands. When it comes down to it you gotta find your personal balance first. What can you put up with and what will you defend? If some guy steps over your ground and makes you feel bad cut him off and move on. Keep your head up. Write down what you are gonna stand for and keep your feet on the ground.

sorry for the dick photo again.

phatgj 48M

8/6/2005 9:56 pm

If you review my profile you will see i have not as of yet upgrade my membership so will have to rely on you to contact me...work near Bannister Mall so am willing and able to meet for lunch and see if we may have common interests or chemistry before going any further, you just tell me when and where

bcvegas4u2 69M
45 posts
8/7/2005 12:39 pm

I have been counseling people for many years that the surest way to find a real relationship is to look for friends rather than looking for love.

Normally when people look for love they have a pattern or outline of the person they want. When they meet someone they try to make that person 'fit' their picture. If that person doesn't fit they must make the other person wrong for disappointing them or make themselves wrong for not being the 'enough'.

If you look for a friend & it develops into a relationship, terrific. If it doesn't work, you can always fall back on the friendship. In the long run, friendship is more fulfilling & longer lasting than physical sex. Some of us travel down lifes road without partners. Some of us have traveling companions that are with us for a while & then they are gone, with another destination to reach. And strangely, some of us seem to have companions all along the whole trip.

It seems that you have chosen the 'friendship' route, which is to be commended, for it will give you the greatest rewards & least pain. If someone is out there for you, you will find them or they will find you, as long as you are open to it. Like looking for a lost item or memory, just when you stop looking or thinking about it, it pops up.

After having 2 failed marriages & a very long period of emptyness in my life, I was at the point of saying I wasn't going to find anyone & would remain a solo traveler. That was when I met my 'soul mate'. She was at a point in her life to have a new relationship. Although we would love to have met much earlier, there was only this small window of opportunity for us to meet, any other time our relationship would not have worked because of what was going on in our lives. Though my life was empty, hers was full & when hers was empty, I was working on other things.

An old saying goes; 'Your just about as happy as you make up your mind to be'.
Just know that everything happens in its own time & for whatever reason, you are exactly where you need to be.

rm_PhxPhatChick 58F
202 posts
8/7/2005 2:40 pm

Turn the table on these guys hon. YOU be the one in control. YOU make the choices. YOU do for YOU. No one is going to make you happy except yourself. If constant sexual activity is something that is so very important you have to realize it comes with a price, that being no commitment. That's just how it is today. No big deal when you get down to it. If you just let things happen and accept situations for what they are, you won't get hurt. I've spent many a night alone, but I gotta tell ya, I'd much prefer to be alone and feeling good about myself rather than settling for something or someone that isn't what I want. Good things will happen when you least expect it if and when you are ready. Don't force the issue. In the mean time, get laid on YOUR terms.

Masseur_0 41M

8/7/2005 4:55 pm

Sorry, fellas, but I have to chuckle at dating adviice from a dude who's holding his cod piece. But you'ev heard that one before.

Lady, my dear, I feel for you. Unfortunately, I have no earth shattering advice for you. I guess having 20 bad experiences for every 1 good one is more depressing and time consuming then having no experiences at all and then one day finding that 1 great one that will last. I guess ya gotta break a few eggs 'eh? OK, there it is, your moment of zen.

mini-honey 41F
4 posts
8/7/2005 6:57 pm

i enjoy reading ur blog.qute fascinating.

hourglasses 47F

8/10/2005 12:36 am

Actually I have the same experience. Now I try to make sure they are the type of person that wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with me. If I feel like the guy just wants me because he thinks I'm fat and therefore not picky, I won't even give him a chance. I've gotten pretty good at figuring that out just by their profiles.

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