Truely touched.  

laceteddy_2001 32F
60 posts
9/3/2005 8:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Truely touched.

I must say I was touched by all of your comments on my Random bantering blog. Unfortunately I DO get in my moods where it isn't all sugar and spice, and they are becoming more frequent.

To hear some of your comments does put a spin on things, I do understand why a picture makes all the world of difference. However, when all someone has to say is "Hey do you want to fuck" it is truely insulting to my inteligence.

I want someone, man, woman, whomever to want me for me. Not just a pretty face, but also much more. That is why I can truely appreciate my ex, and his words for when we broke up.

He is a great, and wonderful man. The most attractive i've ever seen. But I can truely say I respect him more than any in this world, so inteligent and we can have full blown converstations.. But, as I said before I can't have a relationship based on logic alone..

I want the real thing, the relationships that you see in the movies. Is that asking too much? I want love, and passion. I want a family, and little rug rats running around. I know I'm never going to be well-off. But I want to be able to provide a stable life for myself, and my family.

Maybe my hatred for most people stems from my childhood, or the abusive relationships I have had in the past- but my trust only goes so far with adults.

But enough of my own reality, thank you all once again for responding to my first- and I hope you enjoy the randomness that is my mind.

rm_nepaguy1981 35M
77 posts
9/3/2005 10:35 pm

I wish I could give you an optimistic outlook, but I've been looking for that same relationship you have. That perfect one from movies. It hasn't happened for me, and I doubt it has for very many people, either. It's not realistic. I wish I could get it, but I don't expect it to happen. That's not how love is. It's hard, and difficult, and it takes work to make work. I don't think most people realize that, hence the large number of divorces. I don't know. That's just my view. Maybe someone else has a different one. I certainly hope so.

rm_nepaguy1981 35M
77 posts
9/3/2005 11:07 pm

I should also say that stocking are one of the things I find amazingly hot, so your picture really does a lot for me. I know that's not really what you want to hear, but whatever,

NoNeedToHideIt 39M
15 posts
10/2/2005 11:49 pm

I feel that most people in this world deserve to have the relationship of their dreams (in fact I feel that everyone deserves that, but most people I know wouldn't know it if it bit them in the ass). You know what you're looking for. That's a huge first step. I imagine a world where you can communicate what you want and what you're looking for to everyone you meet. Because honestly, in the real world, how many people do you pass every day that could potentially be the one for you? There they go, right down the road on their way to the 7-eleven or whatever, and that was it.

I've known quite a few goth people in my life and most of my other friends wouldn't give them the time of day. That's what happens here in Utah - the preps versus the outcasts. I however admire goths. I consider myself to be a closet goth, although I've never presented as one. I feel that we share a certain quality that is deeper and more intense, particularly because we're in tune with who we are. The preps that I know are too busy keeping up appearances to ever truly understand who they are inside. People who "don't give a fuck" what the rest of the world thinks usually have things in order. I have recently made a big acceptance of who I am (let's say I'm hiding a lot more than a goth-type mind). Soon it will all be in the open, and while such a revelation is scary, I know it will also be a big relief once it's out.

I guess I'm rambling here. I know how you feel. I was in a relationship based on logic and the thinking that "there's no good reason why this shouldn't work." After the divorce I realized that I hadn't been true to myself in what I wanted in a relationship. I'm not sure I want to get married again, but I truly value friends and lovers, and I'd want to be with them and have them with me for as long as possible.

Surround yourself with those you love unconditionally. Focus on those relationships and I believe that anything "more" that you need will be found quite by happy chance.

Sorry for the long rant.

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