Am I really as into the lifestyle as I thought?  

krajerinond 52M
29 posts
12/12/2005 10:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Am I really as into the lifestyle as I thought?

I have been doing some soul-searching of late, and one thing keeps coming back and bcak and back into my mind: am I really a swinger? I mean I really love the friends I have met, and the parties are fun. However, I have observed recently that it's becoming more trouble than it's worth.

Case in point: I know a lot of people who are stricly in the "get to know you only from the neck down" club. That's fine. I understand where they are coming from and they make no bones about not wanting anything more than recreational sex. Great. Super. But I can't seem to do that. I'm not wired that way. I like to make friends. I enjoy the social interaction as much, if not more than, the physical sex itself. Call me wierd, but it's just the way I am.

However, when you do start to connect on the social level, you also run the risk of emotions and feelings becoming more involved than anyone wants. It's a problem I'm sure everyone who is in the lifestyle has run across from time to time.

What's more, now I have found that the same old head games and childish behavior that I thought I had escaped back in high school has once again reared it's ugly, unkind head. Rumors, innuendos and outright lies have taken hold, and I find myself being revulsed by what I hear.

So, it's come down to this: should I leave, bowing to the ugliness that seems to take form when bad people spoil things for everyone. Or should I buck up, gird my loins and do battle with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? I'm still puzzled bu it, but perhaps by sleeping on it, my brain can work out some solution.

Ryn_and_Rynstris 43M/36F

1/10/2006 10:10 am

Casual sex is a hard thing to deal with as you get older. At least it is for this 32 yr old guy. Seemed alot easier when I was younger. Then the swinging starts. I am now married and find that as long as I communicate with my wife, and we stay open to eachother, that seems to alleviate ALOT of problems that usually come along with this lifestyle. As far as dealing with others, some people are just plain ugly no matter what they look like on the outside. It is about how strong you are and how much you enjoy the relationships that MATTER to you. If it doesn't matter to you then you shouldn't even waste time having it occupy your thoughts.
Find your strength and be confident in that. Good luck

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