what are you lookin for?  

konkali 40F
91 posts
12/4/2005 12:47 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

what are you lookin for?

I'm finally almost done with this town. .I have three things to do in the next four weeks, unfortunately at least two of them need my undivided attention for the four weeks.. arrghh! I will be amazing and get them done.

Now, people. I have met two people from this place, one of them, to put it shortly he was awesome! I actually have stayed friends with this young man, we were neither ready for anything more, and I see him ever so often when he comes into town. Don't ask for anymore details, (there aren't any), it's a great friendship. Now, I'm leaving here in four weeks if I can pull all this stuff I have to take care of off. YEA!!
So here's the question. I have a boy.. I sort of have a boy? He's half way around the country and this thing has been going on for 5+ years (we haven't really been together but more so off and on for the last 3 yrs).. (It's obviously not the best relationship, why would I be here otherwise?) But would you move, and look for a new job, on the chance of mabye it will work out.. granted, it's not lookin too hot right now?
I've got a few job offers, all of them on the other side of the country(opposite coast), and one of them on the other side of the ocean. In case you haven't realized, life isn't all about the job, and there are compromises to be made, especially if you're both professionals..
It's not clear which I'm going to regret more, not playing out the chance that it might finally work out if I go there, or the chance that I could have been working overseas (something I have always wanted to do and unlike the first chance, this is a guaranteed position).
How would you decide?
(Why isn't life quantifiable decisions? It would be so much easier!) I can't even come up with a matrix to help me figure it out.. damn the whole BS of matters of the heart..

Kenny Rogers..
Anyone can read the signs
Or the writing on the wall
It’s all right there to see
Except someone like me
Who can’t see the truth at all.

It takes a special kind of fool
To stand out in the rain
Somewhere in between
Nothing left to lose
And nothing to be gained.

What kind of fool does it take?
To go on loving alone
Like there’s some answer in the ruins
Some silver lining to be found.

An even bigger fool might think
You would care if my arm breaks
Before the time that I admit
I’m just the kind of fool love makes.

A wiser one would see
Nothing’s gonna change
There’s a time for giving up
A time for letting go
To learn from our mistakes.

But I keep holding on to hope
In spite of everything I know

What kind of fool ….

It takes a bigger fool to think
That the dawn will never break
On this day that I admit
I’m just the kind of fool love makes.

Viggo57 60M

12/4/2005 6:40 pm

Matters of the heart matter not....and its never really clear what you will really in the end regret....you konkali will never be alone. Take from a guy who has been around the world once or twice and thought he knew where he would end up....it matters not ...the adventure here only once and smile and enjoy the trip....

an old guy

konkali 40F

12/4/2005 8:51 pm

thanks Viggo..
I'm sort of leaning that way.. need to travel, and I guess if life and love are supposed to be hand in hand, they will come together..
(heck mabye they'll post me in Europe and I can bribe him to join me)

SirluvsStorms 46M
684 posts
12/5/2005 3:07 am

Enjoy each and every moment.. in life sometimes boats cross in the night and never meet up again.. sometimes they grow profitable agreements that allow them to fish, sail, meet mutual obligations together.. Following your heart can and has been the fastest way to hurt and pain but also acheiving ones heart felt understandings. Following the secure path can also lead to heart felt understandings but with less fears and heart wrenching pain if things dont go as one expects.. Missed expectations are a bummer of a scar to hold on too.. I say weigh in on your heart and since you dont know this boy really well yet.. follow the career path as that path is one you will benefit the most from at this point.


zanzibarus 38M

12/5/2005 3:30 am

Take a shot girl. Sometimes the best things in life only happen once, and if you miss out on them, they can be gone forever.

dasher121 36M

12/5/2005 6:50 am

damn that is a tough one. Obviously you have your doubts but Id say that in the back of your mind you know what to do. Just probably scrared of the "what if it doesnt work". I always said there would be only one reason that I would leave my city, and that was a female that completely knocks me on my ass. good luck to you, that is a tough one.

Mrtribent 48M

12/5/2005 1:19 pm

I disagree, affairs of the heart can be quantified just like anything else. We only choose not to because when it is our own emotions tearing at us, we don't want to believe in such a simplistic answer. I won't pretend to know all the details that torment you on these matters but from what I do know I will say that your best move is probably to follow your carreer path but resist the urge to burn the bridges, if your love finds his way to you then it was meant to be, otherwise you are best without him, and you should move on. But what you choose to do is not mine or anyone else's to make, it is your decision, we can only give our opinions based on what little we know.

When I am faced with a difficult decision that teeters on the brink of 2 difficult choices and logic fails me, I leave the decision to chance. I simply flip a coin and accept the outcome. This doesn't always lead me in the best path but it does force me down a path instead of leaving me standing still at a fork in road. I think even the wrong decision is better than not making a choice at all.


jim5131 55M
1296 posts
12/5/2005 11:58 pm

go overseas, young lady, go overseas. You will never be able to look at your beloved US of A the same way again. See the world from a different point of view...learn another language...observe a foreign culture...make friends in faraway places. you may never have this chance to change your life again.

There's not much room in B/CS for growing, is there?

konkali 40F

12/6/2005 5:25 pm

jim - I agree, there isn't much space for growing in B/CS, but at the same time, it's not all about location, but perhaps head space.
I've been overseas, seen a lot of good and a lot of bad both regarding home and places I've been.. I'm thankful for having the opportunity

dasher and zan- I think I'm with y'all on this one, I can always find work, but the novelty of the job is limited, and it's only 8 hours a day, assuming I sleep 6 hours, BS for 2 hrs, that still leaves 8 to fill.. it would be good to have someone worth the time.

Sir-you answer the logical part of my brain, so I agree with you, but I've also had it really good emotionally, and I'm not so sure that any kind of work could surpass emotional goodness..

tri-I cannot agree with you. the whole point of emotions is they are illogical, things which are logical are comprehendable, but there's a limit to that, otherwise, we could invent machines or write books to create those perfect reactions..

Thanks for responding guys.. I'm looking at accepting a job which leaves me with some vacation time where I may go stay with said man and see if it's worthwhile to give up a good job offer for a chance to have both a job and a man.
and yes, I'm a sadly romantic heart which beleives in the idea of real love and love being able to endure. (of course this leaves me a glutton for punishment)

volcanoinu23 53M

12/7/2005 6:51 am

You have received some good advice from these guys, to the point where I am not sure why I am chiming in at all. Life moves by quickly, just make sure that you remember to live some of it on your terms!

Somehow, I don't think that you have had a problem with that so far!


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