May - December...Gender Biased?  

koala_t 59F
44 posts
9/7/2006 4:25 pm

Last Read:
10/4/2006 6:40 pm

May - December...Gender Biased?

When a man in his 40’s or 50’s dates, or enters into a sexual liaison or relationship with a woman in her 20’s or early 30’s, no one even balks. Truth be told, most other men that see this think, “lucky bastard.” However, should a woman in her 40’s (pretty much in that sexual peak where just the idea of sex makes you wet), do this with a man 10 or 15 years her junior, it is frowned upon! I will venture a guess that most observers think, “what’s wrong with him?”

For a site where everyone touts how “open” and “nonjudgmental” they are, I say that many feel just as men felt a generation ago: that women are held to a higher standard than men, or, “boys will be boys!” I’m beginning to think that many that claim to be free-thinking are perfectly happy calling the shots and really are not as turned on as they claim by “confident, independent women.” Someone please prove me wrong on this! I’d love to hear other’s thoughts and experiences with May ‒ December liaison.

My last thoughts on this for the moment: a Renga

Lust intertwining
His winter, her spring ‒ so hot
Show him our summer.

ZZ_Todd 59M

9/7/2006 5:11 pm

Being nearly 50, I still wouldn't want a relationship with a woman in her 20's or 30's... that just kinda freaks me out to you know, be that way with a woman young enough to be my daughter! Nope... none of that cradle robbing for me! I like the maturity, wisdom, intellect of an older woman... and as far as I'm concerned, we should change the national anthem to "Older Women are Beautiful Lovers"

koala_t replies on 9/8/2006 3:45 am:
Thanks ZZ_Todd for your input. I also agree that relationships are better with older men.

rm_381949 59M

9/8/2006 8:36 am

Well here is my 2 cents.

Whenever I see a situation like you describe above, I ask if it is tied to the biological make up of the species or the forces that govern societal behavior.

It is biologically built into a man to want to propagate with young healthy females.

Women also have a similar biological make up. They want a young, strong man to give them healthy strong children. To make matters worse, the human female is the only species that will have sex outside of ovulation. To make matters even worse, females are evolving faster than males.

You are correct our society frowns on women who desire younger men. It also frowns on promiscuity, living in sin, etc. We are always confronted with balancing social norms and biological norms.

We are products of our biology and our environment. I always try to separate the two. When I do it makes more sense about how people interact.

Only a hundred thousand years or so separate us from monkeys. Evolutionary change always lags social change.

Can't wait to discuss in person.

Warm regards,


koala_t replies on 9/8/2006 7:30 pm:
Hi Jim,
Well, thank goodness women have sex outside of ovulation, or I would have been deprived years ago! Thanks for your insight on social behavoirs and evolutionary norms...I still want your gut/personal input!

koala_t replies on 9/8/2006 7:33 pm:
Hi Jim,
Well, thank goodness women have sex outside of ovulation, or I would have been deprived years ago! Thanks for your insight on social behaviors and evolutionary norms...I still want your gut/personal input!

MovingOn001 61M
900 posts
9/12/2006 8:29 am

I personally prefer being with more mature women as I find that we have much more in common than I do with women who are a lot younger than I am. I have been with women who are 10 to 15 years older as well as women who are 10 to 15 years younger than I am, and have found that the more mature women tend to be more sensual and responsive as well as knowing more about what turns us on and what doesn't.

The difference in ages between partners is not important to me as long as they make each other happy and are not taking advantage of the other(s) to the detriment of any of the individuals involved. I feel that way whether the woman is 10 to 15 years older or younger than the man. As long as they are happy together, then I say, "Go for it!!!"

Being very independent and having a great deal of inner strength myself, I have found that I get along best with women who are also strong and independent. I have found that when we combine our strengths together, there is very little we can't accomplish if we really put our minds to it.

I feel that a successful relationship is all about communicating your wants and needs so that you will each be able to give each other the most pleasure possible. There are times where I want to call the shots and there are other times that I prefer to lie back and enjoy while she calls them. It all depends upon what each of our wants and needs are at that point in time and by communicating those to each other, we will each then experience the ultimate in pleasure.

Take care,

rm_lifesaver690 32M
1 post
9/25/2006 3:50 pm

I think that if a women looks as good as you do koala t--then there is no problem with finding a younger man if they are attracted to you (which most certainly are). People should just enjoy themselves and mind there own business.

rm_dandth 47M/38F
173 posts
9/30/2006 5:40 am

We've both been with people considerably older than us and we have 10 years between us as well. Age is a mindset with us, so really it's all relevant.

One of us has a grandfather that in his 70's still makes it to bike-week in Daytona every year and makes the run to the Dakotas every other year. He's a good example of someone who refuses to act his age and we see him with women as young as in their 40's all the time.

Our male half had a longer term "fling" with someone who was in her 40's when he was 27 and living on St Simons Island. She was by far one of the better dancers at the Island Rock Cafe, and had a grasp on fun that would make most college girls drop with exhaustion. The sex was pretty damn good too since older women tend to be less inhibited. Around town, the people who thought it was akward, were her family members. All of their friends were very encouraging on both sides. Ironically you would think your family would appreciate your happiness... but I guess some family members aren't ready for anyone to be happy before they are first......

For the record.... I get wet just thinking about a sextant, much less sex, even if I'm not 30 yet..... LOL

koala_t replies on 10/2/2006 6:52 pm:
Hiya dandth,
I love your attitude. Hurrah for unihibited!! Wish I had been liberated 20 years ago. Not to worry, though - I'm trying to make up for lost time.

frankg962 54M

9/30/2006 9:51 am

My thoughts on this is that it really is no one else's business. If you have found a younger guy that satisfies you and you're both ok with the age difference, who cares what anyone else thinks. Enjoy your time together and if more comes of it great, if not, no problem right?

I personally prefer women like you to younger women and I have always had a thing for older women, as posted above, women who are older are less inhibited and the sex is just much much better.

Just my 2 cents.

koala_t replies on 10/2/2006 6:54 pm:
awwh, shucks

itsall4you20053 56M/47F

10/1/2006 7:01 pm

We have addressed these thoughts of yours in our extended profile questions. Unfortunately even in this liberal web site one can't seem to get away from the old double standard of human sexuality.

koala_t replies on 10/2/2006 7:02 pm:
Yeah...So many profiles touting open-minded, non-judgmental is sad! Let's move on!!! I'd rather tell you how hot your photos are on your profile. I anxiously await your debut on NASA TV.

getsmart72 44M
13 posts
10/2/2006 7:57 am

I would love to say that younger women turn me off butits not true. Older women make me just as hot so it really is just a matter of what you are acheiving. If its something like your hotel story...then who cares what the ages are fun is fun passion is passion and great sex is great sex! If its more then that then its a matter of interests and likes and if you are on a same level emotionally. Age dont mean squat and I would not admonish either gender for being with younder or older.

koala_t replies on 10/2/2006 7:13 pm:
I agree, getsmart72 - thanks for your input. I'll be the first to admit that I am as equally enamored with a 58 year old as a 32 year old. There is much to be said for experience. I was just amazed that "someone" elected to skip a date with me after I wrote a blog about 'Mrs. Robinson.' That's what actually started my tirade. In retrospect, he was probably too vanilla for my taste!

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