Whats It Like To Be First?  

rm_kneel_be4me 48M
264 posts
7/19/2006 5:31 am

Last Read:
7/20/2006 10:04 am

Whats It Like To Be First?

My brain turned on early this morning and it went to my best friend. She is in town for a few day. I havent seen her in around three years. But I bet I wont get the chance to see her while she is in town this time either. Her life is so full, she has so many things pulling her in so many directions that I usualy dont fit into her schedule even though she promises to make the time to see me. It has been like that since the day she got her drivers lisence and car. It seems like since she didnt need me to driver her around any more I wasnt as important than anything else in her life... Now I do have to admite she was married for a bunch of the time between when she got her lisence and now, and I should be a lower priority in her life to her husband and family.

Then my brain shifted to my ex... No matter how many time she said I was the most important thing in her life, I wasnt. In my training I learned that it doesnt matter what a person says, look at thier actions and you will see reality. She was the most important thing in her life. Everything and anything else was a distant second. Even now she says her kids come first, but her actions say that she does... She called me on thursday to tell me she wasnt picking up the kids for the week end because her friends wanted to go to atlanta to party and wanted her to come along... Really sounds like her kids come first.

One blessing/curses of ADD is a very poor memory... It sucks because you cant remember things that you really want to, but its a blessing because things can fade away that you shouldnt bring back up. I tried to think back to some of my other relationships to see if I ever was "first" in someone elses life. But alsas I couldnt come up with any clear enough thoughts.

Even with my kids I go through it... Being the one that cares for them day in and day out. And being the one that disciplines them and makes them clean their room and eat their food. I get placed into that catagory as second to MOMMY. So any time my son acts up and I put him in time out... Its I want my mommy... Or I dont love you I love mommy. Now I know this is the normal reactions of kids being raised by divorced parents. But its still hard to deal with being second.

Now I know that you cant ALWAYS be first in someones life. There are going to be times when they need to concentrate on jobs, or a friend in need, or kids, or parents, or a million other things. Expecting to be Number one ALL the time goes back to being pridefull ( I would do the second part of my pride post but nobody has defined pride). But it is difficult when you look back and you see that you have never been number one in ANYONES life.

I then tried to see if I had made anyone number one in my life. Hey you cant expect it of others if you havent or wont do it yourself... I must admit there were times in my marrage that I put myself first to much... But for the most part I do think I put her ahead of myself... And I know I put my kids first now... And I think that with my best friend I place her pretty high, and at times number one. So I know I have room for improvement, but I think over all I do pretty good at putting the important people in their right places at the right times... Yes I still focus on myself tooooooo much, but hell I never claimed to have this thing figured out.

It would be nice to know what it really feels like to be number one in someone elses life.

Are you number one in someone elses life? Do you place someone else number one in your life? How does it make you feel being number one?

Sorry still no spell checker

bustybettyboop 50F  
59325 posts
7/19/2006 7:00 am

nooo i'm only number one with my kids! *sigh*

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?

timeforfun219 41M/42F  
2155 posts
7/19/2006 10:05 am

Proof is in the pursuit...

If my boobs were bigger I'd be a BBW!

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
7/20/2006 1:37 am

When I am in a relationship with someone, they get placed first...no question. My friends interests wiegh in just as heavily as my own as well in most cases.

I'm with you...being first in someones life would be nice.

rm_1SweetBitch 55F
8575 posts
7/20/2006 9:24 am

My number 1 is my son...number two is my man.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

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