Jealousy: the evil twin of eroticism.  

klevermrspiff 57M
31 posts
4/1/2006 12:08 am

Last Read:
4/1/2006 6:22 am

Jealousy: the evil twin of eroticism.


Thinking about jealousy now. It's where the fun stops. It's the kiss of death for love and lust alike.

Many times, monogamy seems often a way to regulate jealousy than an expression of love, doesn't it? Though there is always a stage where nobody else can do it for you like your lover, that is a stage. It might last for a week, it might last for 40 years.

If you love somebody, wouldn't it make sense to take sympathetic pleasure in their healthy pleasure, however they come by it? That should make sense. Unfortunately, neither men nor women are generally wired for that.

Jealousy can express itself in many ways over many sexual things. Some of its ways are annoying, some mean, some violent. Once it's out, it can't be put back in.

Jealousy Disguised as Moral Judgment

When people look at erotic pictures, some can take pleasure in them, some will simply be offended. Like sympathetic pain, there is a such thing as sympathetic pleasure. Hence, there is a reason for voyerism. I think being offended by it is often really subliminated jealousy with a pretense of morality. The jealousy is worse if it's something that the person definitely can't enjoy, whether it is because of their sexual orientation, morality, or anything else. It is a common response to feel jealous about intense pleasure one isn't having.

That's not to say that there aren't other reasons to be offended with porn. However, why be offended by porn, perhaps with explicit sex, but between consenting adults? Most of the emotional energy comes from jealousy, I think.

Too Close a Call

I will qualify that a little more: I think for women often, when they look at porn, there is often no distance between them and a woman in the scene. They see and they think immediately of the sex act being performed on themselves, since they did not consent, they associate it with .

For women who work beyond this, or for those who aren't inclined to have that close of an identity, or of couse, the ones that watch it in total consent, that is not a problem.

Can the Toy be High Art?

I am not so much a fan of most porn made today. Nobody has figured out how to make a really good pornographic movie. The biggest advance in the industry since the '70s wasn't really video tape: it was the fast-forward button. It turned porn to a degenerative medium used for quick masturbation.

There are some challenges to making a good sex movie that nobody has thought through. Things like: 1) That people who look good and are sexually adept enough aren't necessarily good actors, too; 2) How do you plot a movie with elaborate sex scenes? (In a book, this is easier, but in a movie, there's an inherent time limit); 3) How do you make a movie where people would want to watch it first, and masturbate to it later?; 4) How do you make it so one type of sex doesn't lose one segment of the audience or another; 5) What themes can you put in such a work?

My opinion: it should be treated like dance more than anything, and the movie should be thought of like a musical. For that, then, you have to have the actors rehearse-- a lot. They have to know each other intimately and be able to modify sex to make it look very good on camera. This may seem almost comical, but a group that does this should be thought of like a dance company that makes movies more than anything else.

I'll tie this in: with a disciplined group like that which requires discipline, how could a group of people restrain jealousy?

Jealousy limits us. It makes many such things impossible.

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