kitz6 59F
1045 posts
2/20/2006 1:59 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


“Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-Dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are Paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we will trace your call.

If you are Delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother-Ship.

If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what number to press.

If you are Depressive it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are Dyslexic, press 6 9 6 9 6 9 6 9.

If you have a Nervous Disorder please fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have a Short Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.


If you have Low Self-Esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.”

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