|Blogs > kittihunter > Self-discovery....|
This one's for you, Rey
This one's for you, Rey
Man, what a crazy, fucked-up week! After going back and examining my last couple of blogs, I gave a tremendous amount of thought as to how I was going to follow up on them. I realized that I couldn't just glide back into 'warm-fuzzy' ramblings at this point because I'm still dealing with the events of the last seven days and trying to process the feelings I have. Yes, folks, even Adult Friends have feelings...
When I committed myself to doing this blog, I did say that I was going to comment on both the bitter and the sweet and felt the need to stay true to that. Hopefully by doing so, I'll give others some pertinent issues to think about, especially among the users of this website. I know there are some very deep thinkers among the vast Libidoland inhabitants.
Well, to cram it all into a nutshell is difficult, but here goes. Two months ago, I got an initial response email to my profile by Reynold Lara (age 37, Hispanic, aka Miami_DA0 on AdultFriendFinder, which has since been removed from this site, but maybe someone else has made his acquaintance). He was handsome, had a lot to say that I enjoyed, and had a nice basic profile. He outlined his marital status as being "separated" (which I take to mean, married for now but in the process of divorcing), which automatically puts him in the category of either "heightened scrutiny" or "no way" in my book, as far as whether to have further contact.
I cautiously began chatting with him and over a relatively short period of time, we began talking on the phone. In our first conversation, I grilled him about his marital status and what it really meant for him, realizing that "separated" people (especially in NC) always reserve the right to reconcile with their spouses and since I want absolutely no part of that drama, I go to great lengths to weed these types out. I asked all the right questions and was very up front with him about my position and my desires (for those of you who've been reading my blogs, but have never checked out my profile, I'd suggest doing that and you'll see precisely what my "position" is ). Reynold assured me that he was indeed in the latter stages of divorcing his wife (he's originally from Miami, now stationed at Ft. Bragg, NC and residing in the barracks) and also said that he had no problem with my asking him about it, that he wanted to be completely honest with me.
Time progressed and we kept in contact very regularly, mainly via IM and telephone, as he was going on various extended field training exercises during the month of April and the first part of May. We hit it off very well inspite of my efforts to remain cautious about him and began discussing meeting up, going out, spending time together and having various types of fun. I really enjoyed talking with him and was looking forward to adding him to my very small sampling of "menu items".
Which brings us to about a little over a week ago. He was calling me all week, wanting very much to come visit me and we began making arrangements. We decided on this past weekend (May 20-21) and of course I set aside the time to be expecting him. He didn't show, didn't contact me and I was unable to reach him. I was quite pissed about being stood up (high on the list of my major 'piss-off points'), so I left a voicmail with him on Sunday night expressing this and then retired to bed. A half hour later, a phone call comes in to my cell phone. There's a woman on the other end calling me from Miami....guess who?? ....she informs me that not only were they never getting a divorce, but that they were in the process of moving her and their daughter to NC from Florida so they could be together. She had access to his voicemails and cell phone bills and had been tracking at least five women (including myself) that he's been corresponding with. She said that in their 15 years of marriage that it wasn't the first time that he'd been unfaithful and that he'd also fathered another child in the past year with another woman in another state. Well, I politely told her my side of the situation and that he had completely misled me about his marital status and his intentions. I forwarded to her every bit of correspondence that he and I had made, in order to verify to her that I was indeed telling the truth. (Note to ladies: Save all those IM's, emails and voicemails. You never know when you're gonna need them to defend yourself) By the time she and I had finished talking, it was 1 am and I was completely numb. By the time I went back to bed, woke up again and prepared for work, I decided that maybe his superiors should also be made aware of his extra-marital activities....I'll let you all fill in the blanks from there.
Don't get me wrong, I know that cheating husbands (and wives) exist. I've lived in NC for six years and I've seen it quite frequently. What infuriates me the most about this situation is that on a website such as this, there is absolutely no fucking reason to lie about who you are or what you want!!! If you are fully (or as I like to say, "still in the house") married and just want to play around, SAY EXACTLY THAT! If you split up from your spouse and are thinking about getting back together, SAY EXACTLY THAT!
What does anyone have to gain by not only lying about their marital status, but by misleading someone and making them look like a fucking conspirator in such a shitty game? So now by way of being so stupid and dishonest, this asshole is not only in trouble with his wife, in trouble at his job, but he also didn't even get any of my wonderful, 'to die for' pussy! All because of not being fucking honest!!
I'm still quite pissed and upset about the whole thing because I always make my best efforts to come from an honest place, even with my dealings here. I have nothing to hide and nothing to lose and I absolutely can't stand a bastard who has to lie and mislead just to get some damn ass. It's utterly stupid, hurtful, disrespectful and a waste of time for everyone involved.
I'll end this blog with a quote from the slain civil rights leader/activist Malcom X..he says "I have more respect for a man who lets me know where he stands, even if he's wrong; than for one to come up like an angel but is nothing but a devil!"
5/27/2006 12:56 pm
5/27/2006 12:58 pm
Geez. What a nightmare May his dick wither, shrivel, and fall off at the earliest opportunity. I like your Malcolm X quote..gonna save it and add it to my collection. Hope your next prince doesn't turn into a nasty little frog.|
5/30/2006 9:05 am
WOW! Where to begin? I am truly sorry you had to go through such an ordeal, especially via a site such as this one. I'm sure you, as most of us in these days & times, have enough typical drama in your life, and don't need the added stress of such senseless deceptions.|
Please know that I empathize with you 100%. A few years ago, I met a woman whom initialized and pursued contact with me [before my membership to AdultFriendFinder o]and was lead to believe was single & lived alone. It wasn't until after much correspondence, & eventually intimacy, that I was told that she was married and legally separated! Long story made short; I came to find that the details of her initial confession were quite lacking, to say the least.
She essentially was in what I guess was some sort of "long- distance" marriage due to her husbands' career and I had been led into a ~^~ storm of drama. I couldn't stand being lied to & used before that incident, so i'm sure you know how I might have felt afterward. Had I been aware of the facts, I would've approach the situation differently, if at all, & would have been spared the emotional strain.
So even though the various semantics of my encounter greatly differ from yours, I feel your pain none the less.
That being said, it was dealings such as that fiasco, that factored into my initial joining of this site. I believed, as I'm sure you once did, that this venue would be the ideal forum for people to pretty much "lay it on the line", and be open about there desires, needs & situations without inhibition. Unfortunately from your experience, I see that still isn't always the case with some folks, even on AdultFriendFinder. It's almost sad.
On a more positive note, I like how you express yourself! I'm going to have to set aside some time to read all your blogs from the very first one up. Keep your chin up & keep believing in the scientific method. I do!