Never done this before, but there's a first time for everything!  

kittihunter 45F
53 posts
3/21/2006 7:30 am

Last Read:
3/27/2006 2:34 am

Never done this before, but there's a first time for everything!


Blogging is a completely new thing to me. I've read and been entertained, informed and even shocked by them (not just on this site, but in general), but never thought that I myself would be writing one, hence the title. I'm off work today, called in sick...and though I usually like to reserve my 'adult' activities for the weekend, this site has intrigued me so that I'm starting to enjoy dabbling around here during the week as well. I've read a few of the blogs here and thought it would be a good thing to start one of my own. I don't expect anyone to really pay it any attention, it's more for me to reflect on. I love to write, but am terrible about doing it daily, so if I drop off the radar for a day or two, it's no big deal. Just busy with other things or being a slacker!

I definitely have duality about myself that I struggle with. I consider myself to be straight...love love love attractive and sexy men, but fantasize quite regulary about what being with a woman would be like. I find myself being very aroused by porn, but particularily the girl-girl kind and have been for years. I have those kinds of fantasies when I masturbate, which is quite often because I'm unmarried and haven't been in a serious relationship in a long time (years). I've tried conventional dating websites (Match, Yahoo, etc.) with the hope of meeting guys, dating and doing the conventional thing, with absolutely no luck. I'm attractive, intelligent, successful, sexy but just not been able to make it happen so far. I see profiles I like, email them, wink a them and nothing...no responses, no return winks, nada. I then thought to myself, since I'm not dating seriously, not having much luck right now and a very healthy libido, why not take this time to explore my fantasy side a bit more? Of course, being raised Christian and still having those beliefs introduces internal conflict with me about doing this, but I'm trying to grow more as a complete person and examine all facets of my being and hopefully learn more about myself.

I initially got on this website a few days ago because I wanted to chat with other women like me and explore the possibility of an actual discreet first-time experience with someone. But something really funny happened. I started getting a huge influx of emails, winks and responses, which was a nice surprise in itself. The funny part is that nearly all of them are from men on the site, a few of which I'd actually tried getting acquainted with on the conventional sites (as they have profiles in other sites too), but never responded to my interest in them there. Now they want to chat with me, see pics of me and even entertaining the idea of sleeping with me, which I find both ironic and hillarious and even a bit flattering, but also a bit confusing.

So I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who's dealing with their duality. But I'm wondering what it says about online "dating", "hooking up" and other such concepts in general? What do we really want from each other? When I got on this website I thought I knew, but now am not so sure....but I plan to enjoy finding out!

rm_lucky125125 47M
91 posts
3/21/2006 9:06 am

Good Luck


wantonwill 60M

3/21/2006 9:17 am

Kitti;

I think we want sex....but I think we want connection.....someone we can reach out to ...someone we can fulfill...and who can fulfill us...complete us.....


roguebiggs 39M

3/21/2006 9:56 am

Nice to meet you and welcome to blogging. Enjoy yourself and good luck. Hope you meet plenty of intersting people here.

o-o


CantonOhCouple 60M/59F
553 posts
3/21/2006 10:11 am

Welcome aboard and welcome to blogland. Very nice first post.

Hugs from us ...

CantonOhCouple


nasty_girl0128 38F

3/21/2006 10:14 am

Hello, & how r u. I too have found that I am attracted to women. I would still say that I am bi-curious since I've only been w/ 2 women. I've only had one good experience w/ a woman and I'm hoping to see her again. I get a lot of men that try to hit on me as well. I'm married but my husband isn't aware of my interests. Although I make this known upfront, I still get guys that try to get w/ me. I guess they just like the challenge, I don't know. I was also weary about persuing this side of my life. I've always considered myself "straight" and crindged at the thought of a woman coming on to me, now I find it exciting, lol. Female porn excites me alot too. You wouldn't believe how they get my juices flowing. I think we're a lot a like, just don't have anyone to talk to and let them know how we feel. I'm sure none of your friends and family know of your interests either, as none of mine do. Just keep ya head up and go for what u know and what makes u happy, and the rest will fall in place. Hope we get to chat soon. Take care and have a good day.


HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
3/21/2006 10:18 am

I think we all grow a bit when we sit down at a site like this Kitti, and learn a bit about ourselves, and how others perceive us, or how we see what the rest of the world (or so it seems) is doing.

Enjoy the blogs, and keep writing. It is definitely a good way of expressing yourself (and venting a bit now and then doesn't hurt either).

C


TrapsTomesSteed 42M
202 posts
3/21/2006 2:30 pm

Welcome aboard the blogwagon. I hopped on board relatively recently as well. The best part about the blogs(imo) is that it cuts out a lot of the crap with fake profiles, and culls out some of the lazy people who send one-line, retarded emails. I'm still a fan of reading more than writing here, but I think the more time you spend here, the more you're inclined to comment. Anyway, good luck finding who/what you're looking for and hope you stick around.


Discretion_67 53M

3/26/2006 8:31 pm

Hey there!

I'd say make a plan and stick with it. If it is to have your first time experience with a woman, post your profile as such and watch the winks, emails, and chat requests roll in. Same as with the guys.

But remember, you are on no one's timetable but your own! The beauty of this website is that you can be selective without making that initial contact. Sort through the emails like you do your regular mail - quickly disregard the junk, focus on that which spikes your interest!

You are a very intelligent woman, obviously beautiful....it's only a matter of time before that one person crosses your path to put that smile on your face. Just hang in there!!

If all else fails, I'll get in the car and run up I-85 myself!!!

J


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