Oh to be Free...  

kissnlik 40F
295 posts
8/21/2006 7:37 pm

Last Read:
1/16/2007 9:58 pm

Oh to be Free...

Have you ever just wished you could take it all back? Like the day you got married, or the day you took that shitty job that makes you work horrible hours, or even the timing of your first kid? I've been feeling like this lately. I've been wanting my freedom back. I've been wanting to live the free life, just get up and go if I want. I want my friends back, I want my hot body back, I want the freedom to do as I please when I please without answering to anyone! I was too young to get married, too young to have kids, even to young to be working so much. I really didn't want to buy the house I have, but had no choice. I'm not satisfied with anything in my life right now. Well, there are a few things I'm good with, but not much! I want to feel like I have breathing room again. I don't want to answer to anyone. I don't want to worry about who I'm calling on the cell phone or who I talk to at a party. I don't want that ball and chain dragging me down anymore. I feel like I have a constant weight on my shoulders that I just can't seem to drop. It's so unfair. I was too young to be taking on all the responsability that I did, and I only did it out of fear. I feared my husband, my parents and the opinions of everyone around me. I was too weak to stand up for myself and let the world know what I wanted. NOW, I just want my freedom back! I get so restless at home and at work. I can't find peace anywhere! I'm not at peace with myself and every day this yearning gets stronger. Oh to be free again!!! I've had so many people tell me it's so lonely, but it's not that bad if you can make a friend. I'm pretty good at that...

CliviCoderBruit 49M
11 posts
8/21/2006 8:17 pm

What good is it to have freedom if you are too weak to stand up for yourself? For you are only imprisoned by your fear.


SingleWarrior 52M

8/21/2006 8:26 pm

I wish I could take back a lot of things, but am glad I cannot. I am grateful to be able to learn from my mistakes

kissnlik 40F

8/21/2006 8:38 pm

They key word is "was" afraid.

kcilxes 59M/51F
18 posts
8/22/2006 4:50 pm

we all make mistakes that we wish we could take back, unfortunately, you can't. You have to learn from them and move on. In your case, it sounds like the whole world is on your shoulders and you can't handle the weight of it all. You have a few choices now...
1. stay in the situation you are in now and accept it.
2. see a therapist and talk out your problems, and maybe find ways to cope.
3. Leave and save yourself.

You need to sit down and think (or use a friend as a person to throw ideas off) and decide what you really want and need.
Do you want to stay with your husband? Do you want your kids to change? Do you want to find another job? Start a new life? Have cooperation around the house? Do you want better sex, love, passion?

What will satisfy you? Freedom and the scary stuff that goes along with being single again? Having an affair and the weight it carries?

All the questions are very difficult to answer, and very hard to make happen, but they are all very important questions that you have to ask yourself.

Remember, before you can help others, and be a part of something better, you need to help yourself (love yourself and be satisfied) first.

If you want someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you.
hang in there, it will get better

rm_indiome 50M
3 posts
8/27/2006 12:56 pm

Ok let me give my two cents worth, "F" every thing and every body. Your happiness must come first before you are at peace then others can be at peace with and around you. Take a personal or sick day and just leave go to a different city one that no one knows you or you feel chances of running in to someone you know are slim and live the part. No one is going to just let you be yourself or you wouldn't be on this cite. May be disappear for a couple of days to get peoples attention that things are going to change. Now do you have the nipples to just take a deserving moment out of life and LIVE, WOMAN LIVE YOUR TIME.

rm_tigerstail05 38M
19 posts
9/1/2006 11:01 pm

You have friends now Honey what ya waiten on?

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