Signs that it's been too long...  

kinkybutcute27 38F
68 posts
6/21/2006 1:40 pm

Last Read:
8/30/2006 8:58 am

Signs that it's been too long...

Top 20 signs that it has been TOO long since you've had sex...

**not guaranteed to be funny.........just guaranteed to be true**

1) You order pizza more than once a week hoping that the delivery boy will respond to your "oops, I forgot my wallet inside...mind coming in while I look for it?" game.

2) You're on a first name basis with the clerk at Doctor John's

3) Your porn VCR tapes are warped and ruined - no amount of adjusting the tracking helps

4) Your porn DVD's are skipping and scratched from all of the shuffling

5) You have ACTUALLY considered calling the ex

6) After one or two drinks, you are willing to take "Willy the overweight, hairy, smelly bar-fly" home just so you can feel someone's weight on top of you

7) You call the plumber to come clean your pipes...and then are extremely frustrated when he actually cleans the pipes

Midget porn (you watch it)

9) You're jealous of Bert & least they get to sleep with SOMEONE!

10) You kick the wall so hard you break your toe...because the "ultra-high, supersonic" mode on your vibrator quit working

11) You think about sex all the time: supermarket, library, on break at work, driving, mowing the lawn...

12) It takes you an hour to pick out a good cucumber

13) Tony Soprano turns you on...

14) You try out one of the massaging chairs in the mall....and refuse to get out of it

15) You sleep naked every night - just in the hopes that someone will break in

16) You know the warranty requirements for your favorite toy forwards and backwards........and have replaced it over 2 times in the past month

17) The sleazy, greasy guy down the hall is suddenly beginning to look pretty good....

1 You start to establish the "trail" to random guys you contemplate hooking up with (as long as they don't know anyone I know...)

19) You actually go to a bar on "Ladies Night"

20) You let a man beat you at pool!! (or darts or poker)

NulloSpraySumac 40M
13 posts
6/21/2006 9:45 pm

Haha, I've caught myself doing a couple of those. I'll let you figure out which ones because I am NOT gay! Why don't you use this site and fix your problem? Or is this not you? lol

rm_screw39 33M

6/22/2006 6:51 pm

Nice. I like those. The thing is this, the options are available to you, you just have to pick one (or more)!!! Let me know. HAVE DICK WILL TRAVEL!!!

SirMounts 102M

6/27/2006 11:25 am

LOL! Oh it's funny. *smiling* have a very nice blog here, already.
A very warm welcome to blogging, kinkybutcute. *smiling*

kinkybutcute27 38F
23 posts
7/10/2006 8:30 am

Awwww...thanks! I like making silly lists like this, lol, glad to see you all like them!

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