kimochiE 33M
115 posts
12/21/2005 11:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


I'm beginning to believe my honesty is by far my worst personality trait. For someone so unhappy with himself, why do I find it impossible to be anyone but me? I've been thinking, it would be so easy to build a persona so much more attractive than who I really am at a place like this. But in the end, that doesn't interest me. I'm not hoping to get fucked as much as I'm hoping to express ideas with interesting people... not that I'm not also hoping to get fucked. That's every sexless minute of every day. So why an adult site? I'm an incredibly sexual person, and the other places I haunt are not the places to express that side of me.

I recently watched a Japanese drama called Nobuta. wo Produce, and one of the three protagonists was a character who consciously built a popular persona at his high school, but no matter how popular he was, or how many people constantly surrounded him, he was incredibly alone because he knew it was all a delicate facade to please others. He didn't become happy until it all came crashing down around him. There's something devoid of happiness in something artificial. Look at any marriage without passion - I bet that's half of the AdultFriendFinder population.

But I've offended so many people in my life by simply speaking my mind, and I open up my deepest thoughts to strangers like an open book. That does worry me. I sometimes wonder, maybe I should make a conscious decision to please others after all.... Being myself certainly hasn't brought me very much happiness. I was once the funny guy, and making people laugh certainly brought me more friends than depressing people with my saddness. I could become that person again, or someone equally more likable, couldn't I?

trish778 43F

12/23/2005 8:38 am

it's always best to be honest. no worries altho people might be offended at first. but the reality of it is, they appreciate the honesty after they have had time to really think about it.

kimochiE 33M

12/23/2005 2:31 pm

I think people only want to hear the honesty that they would like to hear, but that also includes myself

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