|Blogs > kimochiE > Coitus Interruptus|
It's not just a nasty viral disease, it's also a fetish. By now it's no great secret I've caught yellow fever, but the question I thought I would reflect on is, 'why?' Until I spent a month in Japan this past summer, I honestly didn't find Asian women especially attractive. The first woman I fell in love with was Hispanic, the second Italian, and before I knew it, I had developed an attraction to dark-haired, olive-skinned women.
On the other hand, race means so very little to me. Believe it or not, it didn't really hit home that my first love was another race until I met her Spanish-speaking relatives, and by some unintentional coincidence, the handful of women I've been involved with have all been different races. Instead, I look at it as if my eyes have been opened to a beauty I was previously blind to.
"I didn't realize Japanese women were so beautiful!"
I confessed that to my Japanese lover's mother after I grew strangely used to seeing nothing but Asian faces day after day until my own Caucasian reflection began to appear alien to me. And as I fell in love with my Japanese lover, I couldn't believe a woman so beautiful actually desired me. As I was making love to her one night, I happened to glance out the window and the city lights of Tokyo were so beautiful, my life seemed like it had become a waking dream. How did something so unbelievable happen to me?
Since childhood I've dreamed of someday becoming bilingual. I don't remember exactly how that desire developed in me, but it very naturally settled on Japanese. And when I finally began seriously studying the language in college, the more I learned, the more my fascination reinforced itself. It's a language so fundamentally different from English, and yet a culture so accessible to an English-speaker. By chance, I made a penpal in Tokyo, and before I knew it, her family had invited me into their home.
So there I finally was after dreaming of seeing this place since childhood, riding to Tokyo from Narita Airport in a car with a woman so anxious to fuck me she lost her way because her hand was already in my pants stroking my cock. What about this place seemed so special to me? What about this place seemed to make me so special too? In America, I'm average at best. I'm a white male raised Protestant - a dime a dozen. But in Japan, I was suddenly exotic. I met people who had never talked to a foreigner before, little Japanese children starred at me like I was a Martian, and there was no shortage of Japanese women learning English because their panties were wet for white men. In fact, I found myself walking the streets of Tokyo holding hands with one.
A couple of days ago I went to a cafe to study, and there was a girl working there who had been gone for a year. I used to have a small crush on her because she was always a little flirtatous with me, but I had a steady girlfriend at the time, and I'm naturally shy anyway. I haven't made love since the summer, and I know I need to make new friends again, so the thought of hitting on her did cross my mind, but I also wondered to myself, "Do I even want to become involved with a white girl again?"
That might sound silly at first, but my ambitions to study and live abroad become a serious problem once when I was in a relationship with a girl who never wanted to leave the city she was born in. Sure, I want to see as much of the world beyond America as I can before this life passes away, but I would rather burrow myself as deep into a culture as I possibly can than backpack across Europe without really understanding each country I passed through. So if I'm addicted to Japanese soap operas, listen to Japanese music, masturbate to Japanese porn, or generally get excited when I meet a beautiful Asian woman, I think that's the reason why.
'Kimochi ii' - something feels good, whether it's a cool breeze on a sunny day or a hot, wet pussy sending you to Heaven before your time