Women Trying To Act Like Men? ROFLMFAO!  

keithcancook 60M
10710 posts
5/18/2005 9:59 pm
Women Trying To Act Like Men? ROFLMFAO!

Where are you my BRETHEREN? Y'all are falling over yourselves in an effort to separate yourselves from pigcancook , and you appear to be as weak as, as ...GIRLS! Yes, only SEVEN have stood firm. Forever more these MAGNIFICENT SEVEN will be glorified in the annals of our MOVEMENT.

expatbrit49
mnfun952mi_mwpm
koocnachtiek
...Who else will STAND with US?

Even now BLONDENEEDSSEX attempts to gather the sisters together. They are going to attempt to act like MEN! Have y'all ever heard of such a ludicrous idea?

Females trying to act like MEN? ROFLMFAO! As if! LOLOLOLOLOL! The bacon is shakin' pigcancook is laughing so hard!

Let me know how ya like it. The work we do is not like pretending to do laundry while watching
The Young and the Restless . Or walking your little "meal tickets" in their little carriages through the neighborhood. That's right girls. It is no walk in the park out in the jungle where the MEN hold sway.

Y'all will never survive out there. You actually have to PRODUCE something (besides another meal ticket) , not sit around popping bon bons and watching
Oprah .

The only good thing that can come of your little experiment is that you will be going around shirtless a lot more and that makes
pigcancook very happy.

~ pigcancook



keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/18/2005 10:08 pm

expatbrit49koocnachtiek

Don't even THINK about it expat ol pal. That is why pigcancook told us to put you in the MIDDLE.


Tala4u2 54M  
2957 posts
5/19/2005 12:22 am

Great a competition I don't care what its for i'LL JUST ALTER THE RELEVANT BITS FROM MY OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR THE PRESENTATION CEREMONY AWARDS NIGHT THAT'LL DO. Do I have to wear a tux? Personally I would be a lot more comfortable shamelessly exposing myself to the members of the academy but I may get my crack waxed just for the experience. Not to pander to any notions of presenting the appropriate male physique to be oggled at and subjected to catcalls of dubious moral principle. In appreciation of recieving the worldwide exposure in victory it would not be too demeaning for me to give cunniligus to women even those who did not vote for me. But I draw the line at kissing with tongues. For those women with envy issues over their version of the clitorus and ours, God had a reason for the 'wetpatch' ours can spit because with out that ejaculate you would not be here. Men are always far thinking and on the ball why else would we have taken a all terrain vehicle to the moon, just in case there were chicks there and we could take 'em parking to the sea of Tranquility and hump like rabbits under a full earth in the sky. Ad i have not slept with or been cajoled to perform sexual favours to win this illustrious award I am willing to wantonly rectify that oversight at the post awards party/orgy and show that my obvious genius is driven by my male chromosones and testosterone and would not have it any other way.
Love you all, especially the semi naked chicks in the front row.
Tala

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
PERVlander


missy97330 47F

5/19/2005 12:47 am

ROFLMFAO!

Will you marry me? Apparently I am a sucker for assholes who treat me like crap. You seem just my type. I am in love.


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/19/2005 12:59 am

is happy sitting eating bon bons lol,and certainly don't want any meal tickets


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
5/19/2005 1:03 am

lol Keith Buddy think your going to hit a nerve around here with this one lol will hit too close to home for many lol......

But I still love ya

WyvernRose


freetime648 52F

5/19/2005 1:56 am

Excuse me???? Can you explain exactly what your intent is in this blog? Would you put your mother in the same category as you are talking in this blog? Cause it sure sounds like you are including ALL women to me! I do believe you wasted precious brain cells on this one!


xx FREETIME648 xx


playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
5/19/2005 5:34 am

(thinks piggy needs a really good lay or a suppository to cure his "condition")


lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
5/19/2005 7:05 am

no offense, keith...but you state that one must "produce something". Are there actually any jobs like that left here anymore? Do you actually take raw material and mold, shape, bend, fold, or mutilate it into something else? and do you speak Mandarin, or Cantnese?
I hear emory boards sculpting points, counterpoints....
cover your eyes boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
5/19/2005 7:07 am

and again...(still?) you are highlighted in yellow
just 'cause you're paranoid, that doesn't mean they're not after you....
look at me, Ma....I'm double postin'.............


kissablemeinmn 48F

5/19/2005 8:47 am

Oh my....

Kisses,
Miranda


purejoy4fem 46F/44F
682 posts
5/19/2005 10:22 am

OMG, the women are acting like men!!!! So now you are calling us lazy, disrespectful, chauvinistic, know-it-alls? Hey, we do not act like men. We ask for directions


PailsDiverHonks 55F

5/19/2005 11:59 am

Why do men prefer women with big tits and tight pussies?

Because most men have big mouths and little dicks


PailsDiverHonks 55F

5/19/2005 12:00 pm

She's still smiling


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/19/2005 12:32 pm

Purpose? Did somebody ask what is the purpose? I am attempting to get an army of females to band together, come to my house, and try and beat some sensitivity INTO me while kicking the crap OUT OF me.

(one more pigcancook post ought to do it)


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/19/2005 1:46 pm

Ouch! (good one greenie)


purejoy4fem 46F/44F
682 posts
5/19/2005 3:45 pm

Kate, you can cum over and watch the soaps with us }:


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
5/19/2005 4:49 pm

Ladies, after some soul searching I realize pigcancook is right...we sometimes try to be men but we cannot..I am weaker, and I do like Oprah and bon bons! I say we surrender to Mr Pig. Lets not fight this. He has won, He will always win...Mrpigcancook...TAKE ME AND TAKE ME NOW!! I AM YOURS TO USE AND ABUSE! I have always had a fond appreciation for pork...even porky pig is my favorite cartoon character!


cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
5/19/2005 5:46 pm

Hey Keith, Sorry pal, I can not go with you on this one. I am not getting any now, and if I take your side, I may never get any. ROFLMFAO!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my first attempt at writing a story.

Have a great day

A Nice Afternoon Part 1

Early one morning I called my friend and lover after breakfast, to check in with her, and see how she was doing.
She asked me, if I had any plans for the afternoon, because she thought she would take the afternoon off, to relax
and do some light shopping. I told her I had some work I had to finish today, and could not take the whole afternoon off,
but I should be finished around two o'clock. I told her I would pick her up around three o'clock, and we could go shopping
together, and get some coffee.

I lucked out, and finished my project by one thirty. I went home to take a shower and change in more comfortable clothes.
Being it was summer and hot, I decided on a light blue causal pull over shirt, and a pair of white linen shorts.

I arrvied at her house 10 minutes early. I rang the door bell, and she answered the door right away. She stated that
she was all ready to go. She was wearing a semi-transparent white blouse, with a very lacy pink bra, which you could
clearly see throught her blouse, with a very short shiny black skirt. She was not wearing pantyhose, and told me very
suductively, that she was not wearing any panties. She went in the kitchen to get her purse, and we left her house.


Tala4u2 54M  
2957 posts
5/19/2005 6:23 pm

Before Oprah and Bon Bons (which in Oz are what we call Christmas Crackers, that you pull they go pop and then wear the paper hat inside during lunch. But apparently some women prefer to eat them?!) The diference between man and woman was programmed into our Psyche. It was a lot to do with survival for some reason man was out hunting ferocious beasties like cuddly woolly mamoths with pointy sticks and woman was collecting roots and berries. Of course now that the world is civilised and ferocious beasties don't generally snack on pedestrians on the way to the supermarket, the gatherers want to take the place of the pointy stick holders. Well I hope you dont mind if we use science to be able to have childbearing abilities. I think you are all forgetting one very important thing. Girls there is nothing better than having a good fuck with a man.

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,
PERVlander


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/19/2005 7:50 pm

"The diference between man and woman was programmed into our Psyche. "

Yes Tala! Exactly. And I wouldn't have it any other way. In spite of overzealous folk like pigcancook. Along with love, the so called "battle of the sexes" helps make the world go round.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/19/2005 7:53 pm

(and keeps it from getting boring)

cajunpet , pigcancook has asked me to visit your blog and return with the conclusion to your story. He has suggested to me that y'all left her house too quickly and that you should have took her by surprise in the kitchen.

He is expecting that she will be well fucked in this story (most of pigcancook's favorite stories revolve around this theme) . I hope you don't disappoint him!


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

5/19/2005 10:51 pm

Oh Tala yes there is nothing like it but since you saw fit to cut me off I will just turn up my batteries and buzz along "wink"


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/20/2005 12:07 am

freetime648 asks:

"Excuse me???? Can you explain exactly what your intent is in this blog? "
Yes, but I won't. I will say that in The Venting Blog plans within plans within plans are always in motion.

"Would you put your mother in the same category as you are talking in this blog? "
Certainly not! My mother is nothing less than the greatest woman I have ever known.

"Cause it sure sounds like you are including ALL women to me!"
That is quite possible but saints are not included

"I do believe you wasted precious brain cells on this one! "
That is not possible. I wasted them all in the seventies already.


lustmirror 63M
2897 posts
5/20/2005 5:21 am

That is not possible. I wasted them all in the seventies already.

I've heard it said another way... I voided the warranty on that in the sixties....


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
5/20/2005 5:23 am

lol Keith !

Tala Boy not you too! lol

Yeah I am curious as to what they think they are doing eating the bon bons too tala wouldn't the plastic toy tickle on the way down? lol

WyvernRose


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/20/2005 11:39 am

Ah, my favorite crotch shot in all BlogLand is back in my comment area again.

Thanx Katey!


LeFemmeKate 58F
5 posts
5/20/2005 1:10 pm

(giggling me little ass right off) this will be one helluva weekend!!! (Le Femme)


rm_BigDnLady 43M/40F
1140 posts
5/20/2005 7:11 pm

The responses are just too funny!!! I have to agree that you have gone alittle overboard with this, but hey, it is your blog!! I have 3 meal tickets and what is so funny, I have a wonderful productive man that ASSISTS me in providing for 2 that are from a previous marriage, because the "dick" doesn't feel like producing a child support check!! What is also so wonderful about him is that he prefers me to sit on the couch and eat bon bons but really I think he just likes me at home when he gets there so he can fuck my brains out!!! NO COMPLAINTS here!! He also never interrupts my Oprah!!

Lady

PS. Maybe you should see Dr. Phil!! I would love to watch you on TV while eating my bon bons!!


patsam69 51M/51F

5/20/2005 8:19 pm

Act like a man? Hmmm....I have NEVER had skid marks on my underwear..so I don't think it would be possible. I don't blow nose in the shower either...so I guess I am out!


cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
5/21/2005 1:25 am

Thanks Keith, The big tease, but pigcancook will have to wait with his little corky love tool or seek other piggy ladies ass, for this beautiful sexy piggy pussy is way too too too busy enjoying her present hunky horny lover to write just for pigcancook, who can not hold a little birthday candle compared to what she presently has with her great BIG lover. Besides she has a far greater other lovers before she lets pigcancook get his rocks off with me.

Have a great day.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 8:25 am

"The responses are just too funny!!! I have to agree that you have gone alittle overboard with this, but hey, it is your blog!! I have 3 meal tickets and what is so funny, I have a wonderful productive man that ASSISTS me in providing for 2 that are from a previous marriage, because the "dick" doesn't feel like producing a child support check!! What is also so wonderful about him is that he prefers me to sit on the couch and eat bon bons but really I think he just likes me at home when he gets there so he can fuck my brains out!!! NO COMPLAINTS here!! He also never interrupts my Oprah!!

Lady

PS. Maybe you should see Dr. Phil!! I would love to watch you on TV while eating my bon bons!!


pigcancook has been a fun project for me and for many in BlogLand. Yes, I did stick my neck out with this one, but from what I know of human nature I felt that the women would love it.

He gives them a chance to come together as a gender and do some bonding and bashing.

It was used by some as a platform to tell us how these stereotypes do not fit them. And their independence from them. And their success without need of any man.

The wives among us attacked the pigster with particular glee which I expected. They have to live with us.

One of the funniest (although not unexpected) things that came out of this project was the reaction of the men. LOLOLOLOL! All the characters I have developed in The Venting Blog are chuckling right along with me at their THUNDEROUS SILENCE. The poor things just didn't know what to do about Mrpig. Well "my brothers" , politically correct is not something you will find in this area of BlogLand. Loosen UP!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 8:48 am

candy69sosweet , I did go and read it. I urge all my readers to go and see what you have written. I do not doubt that you speak for many.

[blog asianlady4love] , the "act like a man" angle was drawn from a post that BLONDENEEDSSEX did in her blog. I just took it and twisted it (i am constantly twisting things) .

"Anyway,will you tell me what special traits does a man has? and YOUR special traits.

Hmm, outside of certain bodily functions I don't think men have any special traits. That seems to be the consensus of the female commentors.

My special traits are not so special, nor are they gender based. I am honest, trustworthy and faithful. Ordinary virtues, but important ones. I refuse to list the special traits that are negative. That is for those close to me to discover.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 8:59 am

Hello there mzhuny, you are absolutely right. Now c'mere and gimme a kiss!


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
5/21/2005 10:46 am

There is nothing wrong with more women walking around shirtless

That is every man's dream come true... isn't it?


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 12:07 pm

[blog Mysticwriter88] , I am very very pleased that you have commented here. Especially in a post that degrades women. It shows that your horizons have expanded and you are opening up a bit to the fun of satire.

Breasts in the breeze is indeed something we men enjoy.


mnfun952 102M

5/21/2005 1:51 pm

I need to know the secret handshake and password to this 'man' club... I'm standing outside the door wondering how to get in...oh wait... while all of the 'men' are inside the club having a grand ol' time - I'm going to take the 'woman' club out for dinner !! They will pay (of course) because they like to..and they will hold the door open for me and compete for my affection and buy me things.... it's going to be awesome!!

MnFun


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
5/21/2005 2:53 pm

true keith, there is hope for the mystic yet!

his tone has changed somewhat lol *giggles with glee* mayhaps my spook worked!

WyvernRose


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
5/21/2005 4:40 pm

No, I am still a gentleman... I keep my mouth shut a lot because some would assume that just because I make a comment here and there means i am a pig.

I do believe women are goddesses and should be treated as such.

I am still a "guy" though!

My guy impulses take hold sometimes over my more gentlemanly ones lol

One must allow his hormones to seep through on a somewhat regular basis shouldn't they? Just don't go off thinking I will always be that way Keith Or perhaps I will be worse once I feel that in which I desire to feel?


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 5:05 pm

I have been attempting to soften him up a bit myself wyvernrose. I really do like him.

Mnfun, I hear ya dude. Request granted, lineup ammended...welcome to the "targets for abuse club" .... lol it doesn't hurt (much) . As long as ya gots a thick skin it is fun.


RiperPraysMauls 50F

5/21/2005 7:06 pm

jealous Keith? Pass the bon bons and wheres the damn remote control!!!


cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
5/21/2005 7:27 pm

Thanks Keith, The big tease, but pigcancook will have to wait with his little corky love tool or seek other piggy ladies ass, for this beautiful sexy piggy pussy is way too too too busy enjoying her present hunky horny lover to write just for pigcancook, who can not hold a little birthday candle compared to what she presently has with her great BIG lover. Besides she has a far greater other lovers before she lets pigcancook get his rocks off with me.

Part 3

She entered the bedroom in her birthday suit, wearing the perfume I had bought her for our anniversary meeting, which was last month. Causing me an instant hard on with a big bulge in my shorts.

She told me "I'll take care of that problem big boy", as she headed to my side of her queen size bed. As she was bending over to unzipp my shorts, she says "do not touch me until I tell you to, because it's my time to play and tease you".

She unzipp my shorts, and my cock shoots straight out to heaven. She lightly touch the head of my cock, starting to tease me already, while she tells me to stand up, and do not touch her until she tells me to.

Story to be continue.

Have a great day.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/21/2005 9:22 pm

Well done [blog lickmypussypleze] !

I had anticipated that retort as I was first composing the post. It seemed the obvious one in a role reversal post like this. I was disappointed that my prediction was wrong (its the little things that float my boat)

Yet you have redeemed me along with all your sisters by posting it. I am afraid that I wouldn't do the soap opera thing though. I would pretend to do laundry while blogging instead!


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

5/21/2005 11:17 pm

Keith if you cum peaceful like, right now I am prepared play nice and share my toys with you, even though you are a pig,, always did have a thing for rebel bad guys,, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm then if we win the election we can share an office and a desk ,, wink wink know what I mean,


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/22/2005 12:03 am

(pssst, blonde....over here)

(keep your voice down...males may be strong, but females make them weak...so I am on my way over)

(shhh. don't tell Mr.Pig )


LoyaltyandHonor 35M/31F
1241 posts
5/22/2005 5:16 am

Hmm… Keith…

About my comment yesterday in regards to women all walking around topless…

I must take that back…

I suddenly got an image of such a thing resulting in millions of men sporting a hard-on over all the breasts hanging about. While I don’t mind a set of breasts exposed everywhere I turn… I don’t want to see a piece of wood everywhere I turn LOL.

And yeah I am trying to lighten up a little... takes a little bit to get use to the various sense of humor that many people have.

Still... the image of millions of woods popping out all over the place is a little disturbing!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/22/2005 8:25 am

Candy, I will knock the wind outta myself if that will get you on the scene. I predict y'all will be able to revive me over and OVER and OVER AGAIN!

[blog Mysticwriter88] , I am afraid that within a little time the men will become used to seeing the billowing breasts and the woody's will wane. The females will have to start covering themselves again to get us going.


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

5/22/2005 12:23 pm

[blog Mysticwriter88] I am glad to see you joining in, it is more fun to be apart of things , rather than being on the outside looking in,don`t you think. Keith stop hogging (lol) just because your week , the main word is SHARE .


behindawall 62F
2 posts
5/22/2005 12:42 pm

Hi to everyone..wow, you guys sure like bashing of the opposite sex..well, I like being a woman, wouldn't want to be like a man, but do like men to be like men..is that ok? I like to live and let live, like a lively debate, but don't like hitting or being hit below the belt..and I can cook too, Keith...lol..take care..Angie


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/22/2005 4:33 pm

Yes SensuallyKatey , koocnachtiek has reported this sinister new development. A SQUEAL APPEAL is even now being sent. We shall lead the rescue party which will probably include every able bodied male in BlogLand.

Brothers! Line Up!

koocnachtiek
hey where are the rest of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN?

(boss, I think we have a problem)


mnfun952 102M

5/22/2005 5:46 pm

soooo um...when are the women going to take me out? I'm a cheap date...really.


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

5/23/2005 12:56 am

mnfun952 you are no longer able to date you are in our slave dungeon only to be brought out to be used, abused strickly for sexual purposes, go over to[blog SexuallyKatey]`s blog to get all the data on your fate, although if you cast your vote for me as Deputy Mayor Ican see to it that you get special treatment"evil smirk"


mnfun952 102M

5/23/2005 11:56 am

May I tend bar whilst in the dungeon?? My fellow dungeon mates will surely become thirsty.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/23/2005 1:24 pm

See how it is all turning out my brothers? Y'all hid from the pigster instead of trusting him. Yet look where he has brought you. He has placed you in The DUNGEON of ULTIMATE PLEASURE in one short week.
Trust the Publisher, he is the truth.
The lesson here is to put your trust in The Venting Blog. It will take you where you want to go...
Accept that The Publisher shall rule BlogLand in the end
The PUBLISHER


GleesFlakyShawl 50M
1620 posts
5/24/2005 9:58 am

hey keith i do hope to have a pig BBQ during the convention

as per the fight, have u noticed women tend to believe following Star Wars (or any other, for that maters) is childish? But Oprah seems to be always OK, hows that? thats a research for the publisher.....

now about the orgy.... i guess none of us will have a problem
do u think ladies will walk the talk?


1MetalSlut666 44F
27 posts
6/3/2005 3:19 am

Oi! KING can cook!!!!!! I'm on your side all the way! Down with these lazy, equal rights, nazi MILF breeders!!!!!!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/3/2005 9:05 am

ah, there you are 1MS! I am happy you found your way back here at last. The pigster will be happy when I tell him about your comment.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
3/7/2006 8:16 am

    Quoting Passionatelove70:
    I was sickened by this blog. I've never read anything so insulting in my life. You seem like the most ignorant and pathetic man on earth. Women produce. We produce life...something a man can't do! I don't know one woman who sit at home and eat bon bons. I've worked since I was old enough to (probably way before you - being a spoiled brat obviously). I don't know why some of the women reply so kindly to you, you must have been burned badly. But don't be such an idiot and take it out on all women. Yes, there are lazy women. But there are also lazy men who have their women work while they are the ones sitting at home drinking their damn beer and watching sports!
    I hope you've matured since you wrote this. I think it's going to haunt you forever!
OINK!

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(
@ )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .pigcancook


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/26/2007 6:19 am

Hooray! The world is right once more...


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/10/2007 8:24 pm

To collaborate again we will have to dust off the messenger...


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