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Stupid College Pranks
Stupid College Pranks
My freshman year I lived in a dorm. It was at that time the only coed dorm on campus. It also had the worst reputation on campus too. Sort of like in Animal House (which by the way was released while I was in school and had some influence).
Behind our dorm was the Administration Annex Building. It was a two story building and was a little out of the way. On the roof was a boxlike protrusion that housed an access door from below. This protrusion had a ladder attached to reach the flagpole at its top.
The program I was in involved everyone in our dorm and on weekends they organized a party for us. They bussed us over to a lodge where we danced and drank beer on tap. We did both of those things very enthusiastically. Afterwards, when we had staggered off the bus and back to the dorm some of us would venture over to the Annex building and climb it. (okay, it was my idea. I must have thought I was an expert at climbing buildings from my previous experiences. Some of you may be familiar with that from an earlier blog, lol).
Anyway, everyone thought it was pretty cool and it took off and became a mini tradition. Every weekend 3 or 4 of us would return from that party and climb the building while our friends hung out of the windows of our dorm and cheer us on. We would surmount the little box on top, do some stupid antic and then get the hell out of there as fast as possible before the campus police arrived.
We did this throughout the winter of that year and when spring arrived it was old hat to us. I wanted to change things up a bit and so I came up with a really dumb idea.
One of the second floor office windows was left open due to the warmer weather. I told Tom (he was the only one with me that night) that instead of climbing all the way back down like usual we were going to enter the building and come out of the door at street level. This window was in a spot that was hidden from the watchers in the dorm. I imagined that it would be a neat twist if we suddenly appeared to them walking out the door.
This plan began to unravel almost immediately. But I cannot tell y’all more because it is too long already. So I will split it into two parts. Sorry.
4/15/2005 11:19 pm
this is al ready crazy i can't wait to hear the other part.|
4/17/2005 1:55 am
I read the entire story very cool keith, BTW what is animal house? are you sure your not referring to George Orwells Animal Farm?|
4/17/2005 6:19 pm
Dang, I answered your question once already but it didn't take. |
Animal House was a movie about a wayward fraternity on a small college campus and was set in the early 1960's. It starred John Belushi and is hilarious and somewhat nostalgic although it is mostly a lampoon.
4/21/2005 3:20 am
Animal House was a "free for all". I attended college slightly there after, and people were still acting the fool at that time as well.|
9/29/2005 6:12 pm
BLOG WARS Episode I Return of the Slits|
Long ago, in a galaxy far far away...
The Blogactic Republic has seen its better days.
Once offering peace and stability throughout the known blogosphere
the Republic is now but a shadow of its former preeminence and glory.
For a new power has arisen and wrested control.
Wielding fearsome new weapons The New Empire has assailed the old Republic
with a ferocity never before witnessed and a velocity approaching light speed.
In short order the old Republic was swept away...
On a quest to destroy The New Empire's most powerful weapon, the Blog Padder,
A small band of loyalists begin their dangerous mission.
Ok gang, we've gone over this dozens of times. Does everyone know their responsibilities? We are only going to get one shot at this.
expatbrit49 Do you always have to be so damn professional Fluke? When do I get some shag time with Principal Lay? I mean Cute Backup gives great wookie, but I have a thing for blue bloods and I want some of Lay's royal heinie.
purejoy4fem Why do I always feel like Maryanne in Gilligans Island? Always playing second fiddle to a sweeter sounding violin. Jeesh!
expatbrit49 Now now, Cute Backup You know I love you (Yeah, Right!). Why not go and sit with Ya-owe-me-one and give him a little wookie? He is said to be skilled with his sabre.
purejoy4fem At least he's got one Hung So-Low. It's a better weapon than that puny little gun that you pull out when the action gets hot. It never ceases to crack me up that you have a name as cool as Hung So-Low and all the possibilities which that implies; yet you have no sabre with which to back it up. What a joke.
Enough! Stop this squabbling! You sound like the Emperor and his cronies. Bickering over such drivel and harping and sniping at each other. The fate of the entire Blogosphere is in our hands. All eyes are upon us. We must not fail.
expatbrit49 purejoy4fem BLONDENEEDSSEX Bite me, Cum-blow-me.
purejoy4fem Yeah, you are always talking down to us. Like you're something special. Well, at least we don't go out wearing the same stinkin' bathrobe all the time.
: Or pull out out our sabres just to show off.
BLONDENEEDSSEX Or open our legs to spacemen.
expatbrit49 Ha! That's all you ever do, Principle Lay. Don't you have a better come back than that?
BLONDENEEDSSEX Oh! You are SO in trouble for saying that, Hung So-Low.
I agree, that was a low blow, So-Low.
Now stop this everyone. Can't you see what is happening to us? The shadow of the Empire has spread and even now we are under the influence of the DARK SIDE of the Farce. We must cleanse our minds of conflict and doubt. Think of flowers rather than fights. For it is with flowers that we shall defeat the Empire and restore good will to the Blogosphere.
9/29/2005 6:18 pm
Ya-owe-me-one Cum-Blow-me is right. We must be at peace with ourselves if we wish to bring peace to the Blogosphere. With my Principal Lay under me and a Cute Back-up under her I now have a staff stout enough to complete this mission. Are ya with me girls?
purejoy4fem BLONDENEEDSSEX Gawd Yes! Take us now! ...um, we mean yes! we're with you!
expatbrit49 Hey, what about me? I'm still captain of the Kill-any-man Falcon. It's mine ya know. The rumors that I stole it from the Les-Bians is a lie.
BLONDENEEDSSEX Give it up Hung.
purejoy4fem Yeah, let us know when ya get a REAL sabre.
expatbrit49 Y'all will be begging for it when I become a hero, defeat the Emperor, and destroy the Blog Padder before it inflates another blog.
Ha! That'll be the day. You're not even a red-eye, Hung So-Low.
expatbrit49 Sorry, but the mystical process for red-eye initiation really turns me off. And at the end of pledge week, when they slam a door on the tip of your pecker to induct you into the club... well, that's a real deal breaker for me. I don't wanna be a red-eye.
You do not know the power of the Farce. Red-eye training will toughen you. It could even give you some length. Then you won't have to take the ribbing that all the girls give you when they see you naked.
What Fluke says is true Hung So-Low. With the Farce as his ally, a red-eye can part many heavenly bodies in a single night. But that is for another time. Now we must concentrate on our mission. The Blog Padder must be destroyed and we need to act swiftly.
Must I face Heart Jader, master?
I am afraid so Fluke.
But isn't he my father? How can I face him after what he did to my mother. The poor soul is so jaded now that she hates all men. Including me!
Your father he is, but face him you must. Your mother is not the only woman to fall under his spell only to be cast aside later. You must defeat him and restore confidence to the hearts of all women.
There is good in him still. I can sense it. I will bring him back to the Flowers.
Unclear, his future is. But he is a BlogWriter, and in him the Farce is strong. Be wary when you confront him. He can turn you yet. Then what will your Principle Lay become? Your right hand? (And with that new bionic model you have attatched, you could sever your sabre if you're not careful). Nay! Heart Jader must be stopped!
9/29/2005 6:22 pm
expatbrit49 We are approaching the Gay-go-butt system. The Blog Padder is protected by an energy shield projected from the tiny MOON of Bend-Over, on the far side of the blog. Take your places everyone.|
Not those places Principle Lay! Get your nose out of Cute Back-ups muff. Haven't you had enough wookie yet? You're insatiable.
BLONDENEEDSSEX Oh pooh! Every time I try and get a little wookie from Cute Back-up somebody always has to rain on my parade.
Prepare to launch the stolen Imperial shuttle. Now we will see if those codes for which we paid so dearly are of any worth. When we gain entry to The Blog Padder we must take out the main reactor and then get the hell out of there fast. When the reactor explodes innane comment shrapnel will spew forth in all directions.
Fluke and I will take the shuttle. Hung So-Low, Principle Lay, and Cute Back-up will continue to Bend-Over in the Kill-any-man Falcon and disable the energy shield. Let's go!
MEANWHILE, ABOARD THE BLOG PADDER HEART JADER IS RESTLESS...
travelingintexas What is it?
HardlyYours4Now A shuttle sir. They are requesting permission to dock. The codes are older, but they do check out. I was just about to clear them. Shall I deny them docking?
travelingintexas No, I will deal with them myself. Clear them immedieately.
HardlyYours4Now Can you repeat that sir? I can't understand you with all that heavy breathing in the background.
BACK ON THE SHUTTLE FLUKE SENSES HIS FATHER JUST AS HEART JADER SENSES HIS SON...
I have a very bad feeling about this. I shouldn't have come. I am endangering the mission, Ya-owe-me-one.
It is too late to retreat now. Is your sabre ready? Don't forget to bring the droids.
C'mon RU-Free2Screw? and get C-My-PP-Grow away from those girlie magazines. Jeeze, why did we have to get a droid fluent in 40,000,000 masturbation techniques?
dz2502 Oh! Do I have to stop now? I was just getting to the centerfold.
We have docked. Prepare to disembark. The deck is deserted and the coast is clear. RU, link up to the main computer and jam the firing sequence to The Blog Padder. Fluke, we must separate now. I will go to the reactor and start fucking with it. You wander around and see if there are any exciting ways to get in trouble. Then I will come back and save you even though I will have already been undone by Heart Jader.
(I cheated and read ahead in the script).
I hope Principle Lay, Cute Back-up, and Hung So-Low can disable the energy shield. Although I don't understand why we need to. I mean, we are already aboard The Blog Padder so why do we need them, Ya-owe-me-one?
Don't worry about it Fluke. This is a Sci-Fi morality play. Plot continuity is not necessary for the point to be made.
9/29/2005 6:27 pm
On the Gay-Go-Butt MOON of Bend-Over The Kill-any-man Falcon has landed... |
expatbrit49 Girls, we have arrived on Bend-Over. Are you ready to complete the mission? Hey! What're y'all doin? Didn't Ya-owe-me-one tell you guys to stop that? Get yer face outta Cute Back-up's muff, Principle Lay.
BLONDENEEDSSEX Ease up, Hung So-Low. This part of the plot is of no consequence to the overall production. Now get over here gimme some while I give Cutie some.
BACK ON THE BLOG PADDER, Ya-owe-me-one Cum Blow-Me HAS DISABLED THE REACTOR AND IS ON HIS WAY TO FIND FLUKE, WHEN SUDDENLY HEART JADER APPEARS AND INFLATES HIS SABRE...
I knew I would find you here my old Paddle-One. Spank me, but by the size of that sabre I see that you have grown in power.
travelingintexas It is true, Ya-owe-me-one. Now you are the student and I am the master. I will soon teach you the power of the DARK SIDE.
Enough of this chit chat Jader. All you have become is a MASTER DEBATER. And soon you will be a flower arranger. En garde!
AFTER CROSSING SABRES FOR AWHILE, Ya-owe-me-one STOOPS TO PICK SOME FLOWERS WHEN HEART JADER POUNCES AND GIVES HIM FULL SABRE. Ya-owe-me-one TAKES IT TO THE HILT AND COLLAPSES INTO NOTHINGNESS AS FLUKE BLOGWRITER ENTERS THE SCENE...
Father! What has now come? You have undone Ya-owe-me-one.
travelingintexas He's not done, son. The Farce is strong in that old one. He's pushing up flowers under the sun. Besides, he did disarm the The Blog Padder before he succumbed.
He did? I owe you one Ya-owe-me-one. (At last! I waited all day to deliver that corny line!)
travelingintexas It is of little avail Fluke. Now you will turn to the DARK SIDE. Soon you will be padding blogs with the best of them. After that I will teach you how to jade women.
I will never turn to the DARK SIDE father. You have failed. Why can't you control your anger and be nice to women? Be a heart-jader no more dad. I sense the good in you.
travelingintexas It is too late for me son. I have padded too many blogs and jaded too many women.
Here dad, have some flowers. Doesn't that soothe you? Can't you just get along with all the other bloggers in the Blogosphere? Join with us and be a peacemaker, not a war monger.
travelingintexas Oh son! These flowers are truly beautiful. Yes! I do! I do want peace in BlogLand. And speaking of peace, if I switch sides can I get a piece of Principal Lay?
Of course pops. She puts out for everyone. Even heavy breathers like yourself. Wait until you see her with Cute Back-up. She gives the best wookie in the galaxy! Yummy.
WITH THE DESTRUCTION OF THE BLOG PADDER PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORED TO THE BLOGOSPHERE.