keithcancook 60M
10710 posts
5/17/2005 11:42 pm

Men of BlogLand, the females are banding together and attempting to make us look funny. Are we going to let them? NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO LET THEM! (we do that perfectly well on our own) Even now some of you are wavering. STAND FIRM! BLONDENEEDSSEX is stirring up trouble over at her place. greeneyesatl05 has made disparaging remarks as well. [blog txrose4uNTX] is trying to shame us with a contest. One of our bretheren, keithcancook has brought me news of this upcoming farce. Brother keith has SEEN it and responded. Control your urges my brothers. STAND FIRM!




Brother keith's response to the DILF contests:

How degrading. Like we are some sort of horseflesh put on display for the pleasure of females. Y'all won't look at our minds or even try to understand us. You use us for display, like we are some kind of conquest or something. We work so hard to make relationships work. We listen to ALL the things going on in YOUR lives, why won't you pay any attention to OURS?
Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

And now it comes to this. Another silly contest. Y'all will most likely want to throw cold water on our t-shirts and then make lewd comments when our nipples stand out. Like we can control that or something. Jeesh! Whaddaya expect?
Q : What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

We will be subjected to BARBARIC judging based loosely on the intensity of your drunken cheers. Round after round until only best looking are left. To be ogled, wolf whistled, and disparaged by lewd remarks broadcast from the stage and echoed throughout the audience. Reducing us to mere objects of lust, our dignity shredded.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
Sad to say, we are so vain that we will sign up for this abuse in droves. I myself feel the call of the spotlight and the chill of the water. It is a powerful call. I would never admit to it but I secretly love the attention I will get from those lust blinded females.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Yes, I will say it. I LOVE to tease them! They will be screaming for me but they won't get me. (except for that cute one over there maybe) . I will drive them mad with desire and then with a perfect tilt of my head and a striking pose with butt pushed sligtly out, I will give a flip of my hair and exit the stage.
The MEN will rule. It is the natural ORDER of things.
Oh! But I musn't! Good men don't do that sort of thing. I have my reputation to think about. Dear, dear. What will I do?
pigcancook is the TRUTH
I must quickly get to my new mentor pigcancook for more indoctrination. He is leading the males in the march for MEN'S RIGHTS! He even burned the keys to his minivan in protest. No More MiniVans! Sports coups for all! Soon men will be on the march and mini-van keys will be burned NATIONWIDE.
pigcancook bows to no woman
I am going to rally all my friends to this cause. The rats must come out! And papyrina cannot stop them.
pigcancook rarely gets laid

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
5/18/2005 4:56 am

Awwwww... come on, keithcancook!!!

All is fair in love and war. If you men can have contests about our breasts shots, then why the heck can't we women have contests about the best DILFs??? and just in time for Dad's Day!! Surely you jest!!!

You know that we women just love you men to death....

BTW, the contest was suggested by one of your own menfolk, 4nik8_4u.... hee ehe......

It will certainly be interesting to see the outcome.

In the community spirit that it has been intended...

Tx Rose!

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/18/2005 5:01 am

An American is visiting Hong Kong. She enters a small curio shop and starts to browse. After about 15 minutes a golden object catches her eye. It is a small, golden statue of a rat. Intrigued, the woman takes the statue to the shop's proprietor and asks, "How much for the rat?"
The old, wizened oriental replies, "25 dollars for statue. 1000 dollars for story of statue."

The American snorts and hands over $25, and walks out of the door with statue in hand. When she reaches the end of the block she hears faint squealing and scratching sounds behind her. She turns and sees several rats on the sidewalk behind him. She thinks nothing of it and continues walking.

At the end of the next block she hears more noise behind her. She looks again and there are about 50 rats following her. She picks up her step and by the time she reaches the end of the next block he looks and there are hundreds of rats following her. She starts walking at a fast pace, but at the end of the next block she looks in horror to find thousands of rats.

Now she starts running. She is out of luck. She has reached the water's edge and he sees tens of thousands of rats following her. She stares at the statue and then dashes down the pier in panic and terror. At the end of the pier she stops and without thinking throws the statue as far into the harbor as she can.

To her surprise all the rats follow the statue into the water and drown.

Her heart racing and sweat pouring down her face, the American walks back to the curio shop. He stops before the door, composes himself, and then enters.

Upon hearing his door's bell the little, wizened proprietor says, "Ah. You return for story."

The American says, "No. You have any little, golden statues of men?"

I'm a

i'm here to stay

mi_mwpm 51M

5/18/2005 5:45 am

Keith, dude, ANYTHING we can do to get the ladies paying attention to us here... I'm in. I have a nice BBQ pit waiting for the Piggy.

mi_mwpm, DILF (It's official, per Mrs [blog APolyBear])

smileguyqc 53M

5/18/2005 6:05 am

Hmmm I see a real need here, there will be many who are too weak to resist. Maybe a help line, some sort of 12 step program, we could call it "DILFS" anonymous, half way houses in all major cities for DILFS who have gone over the edge and lost their way...

purejoy4fem 46F/44F
682 posts
5/18/2005 8:37 am

C'mon guys, you know you want to do it, why resist?

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
5/18/2005 11:55 am

~~~~~~~~~~~ Todays Sex Quote ~~~~~~~~~~~

"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away"

Mae West quotes (American actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)


5/18/2005 12:34 pm

ahhhhhhhh MR PIG you know issued the challenge ,and any men that stand by us won`t have to wait in line "wink"I will attach my facts of this crap ooops I mean matter in my next article.
wave your flag high darlin you will not win hahahahakisses


PailsDiverHonks 55F

5/18/2005 1:07 pm

Y'all will most likely want to throw cold water on our t-shirts and then make lewd comments when our nipples stand out.

Who said anything about T-Shirts? I want to throw water on the tighty whities

PailsDiverHonks 55F

5/18/2005 1:09 pm

Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the Garden.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone.

And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

scubasnack2005 58M/58F

5/18/2005 1:25 pm

"C'mon Man, everybody's doing it"

(Peer pressure, peer pressure, peer pressure).
Must not succumb.. Must be strong....

Ah, to Hell with it. Where do we sign up... (Get's number for wet t-shirt contest)

rockwriter58 56M
1389 posts
5/18/2005 2:34 pm

Sorry Keith but I'm a casualty. I'm running my own gawkfest on my blog tonight... just acting like a typical guy. No excuses.

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/18/2005 4:02 pm

Dang! Okay, so I was WRONG about the rats. Now what. (poor little blighters)

The rats must be REVENGED! BEWARE papy!

IPman 60M
313 posts
5/18/2005 4:35 pm

Keith have you gone mad?

Ladies... Keith has eaten some mad cow meat.... and has lost his faculties... with some rest he will be fine.

IN the mean time these are the rants of a "mad man"

cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
5/18/2005 4:45 pm

greeneyesatl05, I really like "Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve "

bella_ 47F
4030 posts
5/18/2005 5:05 pm

Mr Pig...I posted some rude male oriented jokes on your blog yesterday...but now after reading todays blog I have to say I am falling for PIGCANCOOK...he turns me on!! Don't stop honey, keep doing what your doing...I am achin for your bacon mrpig!!

purejoy4fem 46F/44F
682 posts
5/18/2005 5:15 pm

lmao greeneyes, thanks

expatbrit49 62M

5/18/2005 5:15 pm

Ok Greeneyes… Why did God get mad at Eve?

When Eve can into the garden God spoke to her, he said you can do anything you want except don’t go in the water.

A little later that day Eve was on the beach she looked at the water and thought what harm could it do and she put a foot in: Big loud voice booms our DON’T GO IN THE WATER, and she runs out.

A Little latter Eve is back on the beach looking at the water and she thinks, what real harm could it do and she wades in up to he knees, Big loud voice booms our “I told you DON’T GO IN THE WATER”, and she runs out.

A Little latter Eve is back on the beach again looking at the water and she thinks, Realy, what real harm could it do and she wades in up to he waist, Big loud voice booms our “DAMIT I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO IN THE WATER”, Eve asks why God what Harm have I done.

God sticks his head out of the cloud and says what harm have you done…. From now on all my fish will smell like pussy:

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

expatbrit49 62M

5/18/2005 5:18 pm

In my defense Keith made me do it

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

rm_koocnachtiek 60M
376 posts
5/18/2005 6:06 pm

sure expat ol pal, I will go along with that. It is well to have another disciple for pigcancook . I will be happy to take responsibility for you.

Bring your minivan keys to the demonstration. (bring some of those lady scientists too. pigcancook wants to scope em out)

Is this just another trick by keithcancook
to get his text on television?


5/18/2005 7:07 pm

keithcancook [blog pigcancook] [blog koonachtiek] comeand get me I can handle all 3 of you hahahahahahah

A man wants to have Sex in the dark
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/18/2005 7:25 pm

Are you NUTZ greenie? Do you know what cold water can do down there? Don't you watch Seinfeld?

JudeL5 46M
1550 posts
5/18/2005 10:05 pm

Keith... you have way too much free time!!!! Keep it up

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
5/19/2005 1:09 am

hmmmmmmmm Is going to have to loan Boney her Minivan keys to Qualify......he drives kitted up 3 door!


sportyfun56 106M

5/19/2005 6:44 am

I'm so confused now...

missy97330 47F

5/19/2005 9:25 am

I'm so in love now...

rm_ski12005 48M
40 posts
5/20/2005 12:32 pm

WE'll be right back after a few words from our sponsor and station identification!

sportyfun56 106M

5/22/2005 6:08 pm

welcome in Asianlady..

Zippy wow we are having fun!

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
5/28/2005 8:17 am

Asianladymylove, the community of bloggers welcomes you! There will always be a special welcome for you in The Venting Blog! I have refined your icon (yes folks, the pig icon was designed by [blog Asianlady4love] and will be employing it often throught the Land of Blog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .^ . . ^
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(
@ )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .butacancook

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/14/2005 8:25 am

Such a sweetie candysoveryverysweet! keithcancook has many facets (or is that faces?)

I love you too sweetheart!

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
9/17/2007 6:09 am

Grrr. They changed the color of the page and exposed my hidden messages...

^ . . ^
@ )

WetandWildNYC 68F
254 posts
9/17/2007 5:23 pm

Well, Thanks for inviting me over! I see all the fun is here..a little nutsy,but fun rather being so full of it!


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
9/20/2007 2:16 am

Pigcancook is overdue a holiday to Australia what happened to your oars man!


oralcall4U2 97F

3/26/2008 10:56 pm

I sure do love pervy pigs.

[blog Brit_Bints] Who are they?

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
3/27/2008 4:54 am

Then you have come to the right place, L'Ooie my love...

blog on!

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