BlogLand Advertising Campaign  

keithcancook 60M
10828 posts
7/10/2005 12:16 pm
BlogLand Advertising Campaign

. . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER


The staff at the AFriendFinder TATTLER is pleased to announce that a campaign is being launched to attract sponsors (and stir the creative juices of BlogLanders in general). Do you have a product or service you wish to foist on the citizens of BlogLand? The TATTLER can be your vehicle for launching your ideas. We have already recieved numerous advertising ideas, some of which are listed below.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . COVER THE LIE RINGBAND TONER

This specially designed skin toner is very effective in masking the little white circles that appear when married folks remove their wedding bands before stepping out. Available in Eurasian, Caucasian, Native American, Latin, Oriental and African. Call 1-800-4DECIET.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . FLY BlogLand AIRWAYS TO CHICAGO

BlogLand Airways has created a direct shuttle to Chicago with special rates for conventioneers. Anticipating the particular needs of BlogLanders, "private" booths are available for rent in 15 minute blocks. A fully stocked bar will be available for those who need to fortify themselves in order to fly high. Movies will also be provided via live feed from the (not so) private booths. Reserve your flight reservation today! Call 1-800-SKY-GASM for details.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT DETECTIVE AGENCY

Have you been spending so much of your spare time cheating on your spouse that you have lost track of what he or she has been up to all this time? Do you wonder if they have been cheating too? Do you even care? Well, whether you care or not, it is always desirable to be informed about what is happening behind your back. With CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT DETECTIVE AGENCY you can rest assured that the activities of your spouse will be monitored, documented, and filmed. Sure it's a total invasion of their privacy, but hey why should moral considerations stop you now? Besides, for some of you it can be a good thing to have a private dick on hand. Call 1-800-GET-EVEN.

keithcancook 60M
17832 posts
7/10/2005 3:42 pm

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ZAP the BASTARD FILTERS

This new, cutting edge software uses next generation technology to give your mail filters a little more zest. It can be programmed to respond to certain phrases such as "Hey baby! I will be in your town soon so cum ride my ten incher for hours" When the Zap the Bastard program detects such phrases a modified electric pulse will be sent to the offender embedded in an e-mail. Upon opening such mail, the pulse will enter the offenders body and render him impotent for a period of no less than 8.5 days.

Not responsible for fried nuts due to repeated zapping. This product has been found to cause penile reduction in labratory animals. Human testing has been slowed due to a lack of volunteers.

sexyeyes375 47F

7/10/2005 11:56 pm

private booths for only 15 minutes???? 15 minutes??? This is like an appetiser, right, not the main course?

this zap the bastard filter could wipe out half of AdultFriendFinder....but... leave the good ones standing.. hehe

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/11/2005 4:53 am

can i orfer a zat the bastard device please,it could be very usefull,does it only work on the male or can it be carried around and used everywhere

I'm a

i'm here to stay


7/11/2005 7:13 am

Yehawwwwwwwwwww my partner is back , The new improved Big. Bad. I can say what I want My Bro the publisher.
Can we use the zapper to ZAP nasty annoying moldy virgins too.

{=} {=}Blonde Flowers to you

GleesFlakyShawl 50M
1620 posts
7/11/2005 7:53 am

Keith, once again u made me laugh in such a way everybody around me notices Im not working 9as if that matters, anyways)

now, we have to discuss the ad fees for the Tattler, its getting more and more popular!!!!!

And btw, 15 minutes is not enuff for appetizers, sexyeyes, its just the time required to read the menu....

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
7/11/2005 9:44 am


For gents of my age this is of particular interest. Please develope immediately. Having an erection is a wonderful thing. Remembering what to do with it is even better.

Walking around the mall tapping people on the forehead with it asking what to do, does not win friends or influence enemies. That Dale Carnegie is full of shit.

[blog talldarkavg1]

AmberSolaire 42M

7/11/2005 10:09 am

Here I was thinking this gutter rag had gone out of circulation too..........whats the number for the subscription

expatbrit49 62M

7/11/2005 1:50 pm

where were you when I was trying to market the wankathon

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
7/11/2005 6:08 pm

where'd my comment go?

keithcancook 60M
17832 posts
7/11/2005 6:39 pm

Well, you certainly are enthusiastic about your product mzhuny! Perhaps I should research your idea and discover just how well it functions? I imagine that satisfaction will not be much of an issue considering the source. A cock cleaned by mzhuny will surely be the cleanest in town!

sexyeyes, you are welcome to reserve as many blocks of time as you feel you will need.

Hmm, I suppose it will respond to any sender regardless of gender. Thanx for your order pappy and Blondie

Well Katey, surely you have something to advertise? What's it gonna be?

Hey dz! If the pilot says we have enough fuel we will circle Chicago until all the riders have ridden.

LMAO tall! That behavior will get you kicked in the um, chin?

You know how it is AS. Some ideas just keep on reemerging. Besides, The Venting Blog is a conceptual entity with a certain amount of continuity. So don't be surprised if you find someone LURKING around.

expat, my ol pal... I was off wanking of course. Jeesh!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

GleesFlakyShawl 50M
1620 posts
7/11/2005 6:45 pm

expat, u just happen to have missed the wankaholic convention.....
i was pretty sure a sexy scientist doesnt have any commercial

mnfun952 102M

7/11/2005 6:50 pm

So I was walking in a department store with my 11 year-old-son and we walked past a display for golf shirts.. complete with one of those Par-Aide Golf Ball cleaners.... my son asks me.. "Dad - what is that thing?" - Oh that? That's a ball washer... pause, pause... he looks at me... and I say... "Just don't ask me how you get 'em in there"... and we were both cryin' with laughter...

Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
7/11/2005 11:04 pm

Loyal to the company motto -
'Nothing is too cute and fluffy to be wacked'

Has your child's love and attention been stolen from you by a Teddy?
Every time Nanna visits does she ask, 'Wheres Teddy?'
Are family trips always delayed because Junior won't leave without Teddy?
Or you just don't like Teddys'?

Contact the Tala Teddy Bear Eradication unit we guarantee it will be a long slow tortuous demise for the evil Teddy you finger to me. Hell yeah it will even be fun! Discount rates available for Toy Stores. Bookings are essential in the Post Xmas period when gift givers see the error of their ways.

Do the world a favour contract a Teddy to me today.
(Using blunt scissors is a specialty, Giving a Teddy Bears head on a stick to a friend shows you care!!!)

Tala "No more Teddy's, show more *Y* "

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

redmustang91 57M  
8657 posts
7/11/2005 11:08 pm

I was watching Penn & Teller bullshit episode on circumcision and they had some nifty foreskin rejuvenator products that stretch the shaft to simulate a foreskin! a product I did not know I needed! I find the circumcised penis works quite nicely thanks!

keithcancook 60M
17832 posts
7/12/2005 5:32 am

Sometimes our middle aged minds connect quite well with pre-teen world views mnfun. Next up, shaft cleaners and head scrubbers.

Is it an Irish style wake joe? I will be happy to celebrate your existence with a mug and a cabbage.

tala, your ad is just the sort of thing we are looking for. It will go in the sports section of the TATTLER as a full page layout. An additional smaller ad will go in the Living section along with a blurb in the personals. Well done oh Wizard of Blogz!

redmustang, all I can say is OUCH!

keithcancook 60M
17832 posts
7/12/2005 7:48 pm

Hey Kate! {=}

Priapeo 46M

7/13/2005 3:14 am

"This white what? Ah, white band... what? A ring band? Oh, no no no... ahaha... it's a... uhm... a scar!"

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

mi_mwpm 51M

7/13/2005 11:08 am

Nice to see The Tattler hasn't gone the way of the Dodo, Mr. Publisher. When's the next issue coming out?

(Juan S)
2642 posts
7/13/2005 4:40 pm

I need a couple of tickets on BLOGLAND Airways for Next week, Can you hook me up Keith? Make sure the fuel is topped off, gonna need more than fifteen minutes.

Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
7/13/2005 6:13 pm

See what a free press does it endorses and accepts true journalistic integrity and tells people the stuff they really need to know. Ever since dwarf tossing was banned the world has needed a new sport and Teddy Bear Wacking is the herald of the new era of professional sport. In the Living section what could be better than being advised on Teddy Danger it beats the crap outa colour coding of drapes. Don't forget to mention the TiTs in the Personals section.

Long Live the Pig King !!

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

pussinboots4u 50M/47F

7/14/2005 8:56 am

Comments for sale!!! Have no time to put together a quality post?? Just post to your blog as to how good you are in bed and watch your comments grow. $.25 per word, email me for bulk discounts - LOL. mnfun is to thank for this idea - one of his observations.

goddessofbitches 41M/33F

7/14/2005 1:34 pm

Well, I want a Private Dick around here.....are you a detective or are you just the advertiser??? LOL
I think that this was totally cute!!! I am laughing still


Always The Bitch

interested13563 53M
2557 posts
7/14/2005 2:06 pm

This is funny! I like blogging humor!

artistforexploit 60M

7/16/2005 5:00 pm

How about cover the B.S. air freshener?

taodoug65 51M
262 posts
7/19/2005 10:45 pm

that was funny as hell.. Coursse i read it 6 or 5 times before I got it.. it was rough sailing at first. but once I got to the end it came through the muddled garbage.. lol

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