|Blogs > keepitrealnasty > Restless in Alpharetta|
candy from strangers
candy from strangers
Remember the Erica Jong book "Fear of Flying"? That whole concept of the zipless fuck - and the way that AIDS pretty much quashed THAT as an aspirational target for most of us... Turns out that while AIDS doesn't discriminate (it'll just as happily kill you whether you're gay, straight, white, black, latino, skinny, fat) in the swinging/alternative lifestyle community, the incidence of AIDS infection is really very low. Why? Because swingers are basically smart people, sexually. They've managed to keep the wolf of HIV at bay by doing the things EVERYONE should do - use protection, get tested, and know the people you're fucking.
Still, though, there is something endlessly hot about putting it in raw, no? And with the rising cultural prohibitions against doing that with anyone unless you've been monogamous together for at least a year or so AND gotten tested, somehow, when you do it, it's extra hot.
Most people, when asked, agree that safer sex is a good idea. Most people, too, when asked to respond honestly, will tell you that they have had unsafe sex one or more times in the preceeding three months. And yet, the incidence of AIDS in particular groups doesn't seem to rise appreciably - but how can that be if everyone is having risky sex with strangers on a regular basis?
I think it's because of the way social networks work, and, at least in the swinging/alternative lifestyle community, people are far more likely to be 100% honest about what they're into and what they've done than in the repressed corridors of conventional society.
Take me, for example. I have been serially monogamous, for the most part, for the past 30 years. Occasionally I have had dalliances outside of my primary relationships, but never with guys - I'm straight, always have been. The women I've dallied with were also usually monogamous except for a little something on the side every so often. I've never even caught so much as a cold from anyone I've been with, and there have been plenty of instances of unprotected sex - particularly after you've been with someone for a while, and even though you're both cheating on your primary partner, you agree not to fuck anyone else outside of that. There are two factors at work that appear to work to one's advantage in this kind of circumstance - the law of averages, and basic human candor.
As for averages, considering that HIV isn't a particularly easy virus to contract, the odds of you getting it from a single incident of unprotected sex are actually pretty low. Of course, it happens, but not as often as the fearmongers would have you believe. Basic human candor comes into play as an organic part of taking the time to get to know someone before you fuck them. Ask questions - have they ever been with a bisexual guy, or had a long-term partner confess to having gay affairs? What about other social diseases - HPV (genital warts), chlamydia, etc? Do they take care of their sexual health? By asking questions and gauging your partner's responses, you can assess whether or not they are being candid with you, and what you comfort level is with that person. Sad to say, but there are people who will lie to get sex, ao use your good judgment, and when in doubt, you should probably pass on sex with that person in general. I think if you can't trust someone to be honest with you about something that might shorten your life, well, you shouldn't have sex with that person.
The smartest thing of all that you can do to have fun and stay safe is to GET TESTED REGULARLY! Nobody wants to get AIDS. The safety of the lifestyle community is largely dependent upon the MEMBERS of that community, and by knowing our own HIV status we can protect others from the devastating consequences of a life-threatening illness. Getting tested, playing safely, and not moving to regular sessions of unprotected sex until there's been mutual testing over a sustained period of time (a year at least) with no outside partners, will all work in your favor, and let you live a long, disease-free sex life long into your dotage.
Still, the idea of meeting a total stranger in a the cereal aisle at Publix, bending her over, pushing her skirt up around her hips, her panties to the side, and driving my fat dick deep into her tight, wet little hole is just SOOOO hot!!!!!!