|Blogs > katooofa > katoofa|
ah, at last! the spell is broken! i have been fucked. and how i relished it!
long story, short version:
saw cute guy at party, he saw me. click; flirt, handholding, kissing (oh, mmmmmmmmmmm. my god, i had actually forgotten about the nerves that run directly from my mouth down to my pussy..) and then i drove us home.
because i was sober, as i almost always am at parties these days - i seem to enjoy them better then. And bonus!: that allows me to remember, and to savour, every litte image of our fucking; his hands (- beautiful! one of the top listings on my Turn-On-List) on my tits, twirling nipples. the look of his mouth and the accompanying rush of anticipation down to my stomach as it approached mine to eat it, nibble and lick and suck. mh! the tan colour of his arms holding my hips (i wondered for a moment how he knew that i love that - until i heard myself moan. aha..) and that incredible moment of the first penetration, the entering of the head of his dick into my closed pussy, the ancient feeling of yielding and opening up. god. you guys don't know what you are missing. i even remember feeling my back muscles arch as i grind against him - i can feel it right now, sitting by my computer, typing.
and the smell! thesmellthesmellthesmellthesmell.. the smell of his breath - sweet, a strangers breath. the smell of his neck, his armpit. the softness (!!) of the skin down his side, and the smell of his dick and his balls - there is no smell like that in the world, the smell of unejaculated semen, of unreleased orgasm. it hits me deep, deep inside, in my animal heart. makes me lose it.
i sucked his clean, neat, thick-headed dick, and i did it with an energy i have not been able to muster in the face of any of the many tasks that comprise my daily life. since when? since i cannot remember.
i am thoroughly and completely addicted to sex. it brings something to my life and to, dare i say it, my soul, my spirit, that i find nowhere else.
afterwards, i said my polite goodbyes, with an unexpressed hope that i might have the pleasure of being mounted by this sweet and sexy being again in a not too distant future - but without any real need for it. we kissed, laughed a small laugh of conspiracy, and parted.
bye bye, ex-boyfriend. hello, my own body. Hello pleasure, freedom, nakedness, daring. i found it frightening to be naked with a stranger, to let someone unknown see my desire, and my complete lack of control of it. frightening - and thrilling! a relief, an immense freedom. and i feel grateful, at the moment, for his gracious reception of my energy. i have an almost deadly fear of my own imperfection - but i displayed it today, and lived. and i will again. and again. and in return i got pleasure. Of the flesh - rippling waves of pleasure, a warm melting of the insides. and of the soul: the jubilant, roaring, wild feeling of being alive.